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Old 13-04-2007, 05:09 PM   #1
Stellata
 
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"I'm not crazy..."

I wrote this some time ago, and thought it would be good to share here.

I'm not crazy.....I just need to be loved.

I'm not crazy.....I just want to be loved.

I may look, or sound, crazy, and I may have a diagnosis and take medication that might make you think I am crazy, should you have such narrow minded and stigmatised views of human suffering....but really, I've simply had a rough life, where I had to hide my real self away to survive. But I've never really lived.

I may behave like I'm crazy sometimes, and sometimes when people see me as crazy, their misunderstanding actually makes me more so. But, instead, if you listen to me and have patience, if you let me into your world, I might let you into my world, and the pain that exists there, the pain and the longing.
When I behave crazy, it usually is because I'm experiencing a dissociative flashback, and something from my shadow filled past is haunting me and not letting me go, not letting me be safe in the world now.
But.....I could come back to you and your world if you just be a little gentle and kind to me, and not laugh at me or throw back insults. You would see that I don't want to hurt or hate you really, you would see how I am just like you...I just need a little warmth and humanity....
Misunderstanding is human, and I am struggling to come to terms with my past and rebuild some personality so I can be here with you in the present. If you help me understand, and demonstrate by your treatment of me that I am a worthwhile human being, then I will no longer be that crazy woman, I will be a woman who is becoming alive.

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Old 15-04-2007, 02:01 AM   #2
TruConfessions
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Katherine,

That is a beautiful post and you are not crazy you may struggle with depression/anxiety but you aren't crazy and people take meds for all sorts of physical disabilities and many take them for mental health too. That certainly doesn't make you crazy none at all!!!

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Old 15-04-2007, 02:44 PM   #3
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Thanks Tru.

--

I hope also in my posting this that it might reach others who need it.

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Old 01-05-2007, 02:38 AM   #4
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Of course you're not crazy. *hugs*

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Old 07-05-2007, 02:50 PM   #5
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Oh god i was so hopin you were crazy! AM i the only one that IS? Eeeep! lol

I think thats lovely!

*big hugs and some jelly tots*

Matthew xxx



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 07-06-2007, 07:13 AM   #6
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That was beautiful. It's good you are sure of yourself, I know I'm not. I question my sanity every moment of every day. :)



Before the eyes the beauty is wasting away
Reflections praise, she's dressed in decay
You see the struggle flood the skin
From promises to paper-thin
She turns a blind eye, will of stone
From stunning smile, to flesh and bone




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Old 07-06-2007, 08:41 AM   #7
badbadkitty13
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heartwrenchingly beautiful.

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Old 15-06-2007, 12:30 PM   #8
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Thank you....

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Old 31-01-2009, 09:41 PM   #9
Stellata
 
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I know this is very very old.
But it deserves a re-viewing. I think.

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Old 31-01-2009, 11:37 PM   #10
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Thank you, Katie, for bumping and writing this. Your words speak into my head and I'm sure many others. I am lucky (?) in that a lot of my outside 'crazy actions' have been contained in a hospital environment but not all - and I have had the stares and hurt.

You have an extraordinary way of both communicating with words and feelings and an understanding of yourself and your needs. That is very precious.

Thank you. I feel a little less crazy now.

Love Miranda. x



The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.


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Old 31-01-2009, 11:41 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stellata View Post
I may behave like I'm crazy sometimes, and sometimes when people see me as crazy, their misunderstanding actually makes me more so. But, instead, if you listen to me and have patience, if you let me into your world, I might let you into my world, and the pain that exists there, the pain and the longing.
.
Completely understand this!



"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13

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Old 01-02-2009, 05:07 AM   #12
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Maybe you really are crazy.
But we all are; and that´s not wrong with this.

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Old 01-02-2009, 09:21 AM   #13
Not The Jello
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Beautiful, true and so well written.
Thank you for sharing this xx



Be afraid of the lame, they'll inherit your legs
Be afraid of the old, they'll inherit your soul
Be afraid of the cold, they'll inherit your blood
Apres moi le deluge
After me comes the flood.


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Old 01-02-2009, 04:50 PM   #14
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That was really lovely. Thank you for writing that and bumping it.



Sometimes the way in life seems cloudy...But remember, after the storm comes clear skies

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Old 01-02-2009, 05:00 PM   #15
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Thankyou for posting Katie =]



You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.


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