So today marks two weeks free of no binging or purging.
This is the longest time I have gone without doing it since I was around 17, I'm now 21.
I get little support with my Bulimia as my team do not take it seriously, even when I was engaging in those behaviours everyday.
But I have been working with a psychologist on all my self destructive behaviours, and I think this is what has helped me with my ED.
I'm eating much healthier, and feel so much lighter and fresher for it.
I have had urges to binge and purge but thankfully I have found mindfulness helpful with this.
I even went out for our monthly family meal and ate dessert. And whilst I did want to purge I worked through the urges and got through without purging.
And when I weighed myself the next morning I hadn't put any weight on which was really reasurring and is helping me to learn that you CAN eat and not put on weight.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I finally feel at the moment like I have some control over it, rather than it controlling me.
I'm definitely proud, I told my mum and she was so happy for me
I'm going on holiday on Monday so that shall be my reward until I have monies to get something nice. I can't think of what yet though!
I'm hoping that whilst I'm away I can continue to be in control. It'll be hard but if I take my worksheets my psychologist gave me I think I may be able to stay in control.
I've already thought up ways to manage it whilst away, like going food shopping with my friend, so I can't buy and binge on naughties.
And shes so good that we've agreed to just go out for one meal. So I think I can handle that.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. That is of course the miracle of life.
-Bill Bryson
Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
And to top it off I'm losing weight I put on when starting Olannzapine, slowly and safely. I've still got a way to go got two sizes to lose but I'm being patient about it and can already see I'm slimmer than I was, plus my mum has noticed too. Before I wouldn't have been able to see it myself.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Hopefully I can get through to day 16. I really hope I can but I feel as though I am struggling a bit today but am going out with a friend so hopefully that'll cheer me up.
I've got my holiday on Monday, I just hope being away doesn't trigger off my Bulimia. I have plans in place to help keep me safe and am going to use my worksheets to try and help me get through.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I hope you managed to get through day 16. You've done really well to get this far, it's great to hear success like this. :)
For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. That is of course the miracle of life.
-Bill Bryson
Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Unfortunately I didn't but it was only a small b/p compared to normal. So I didn't beat myself up too much about it.
Today I will call day 16 if I get through it without b/ping. I'm sure I can. I've had some "unsafe" foods, which has been rather anxiety provoking but it wasn't a binge.
I'm going to give my mum the rest of my "unsafe" foods, as I'm going away anyway and they are just too tempting.
Bulimia 1 V 16 Ames
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Well done for completing 16 days !!
It's good that you've managed to control your b/ping yesterday. EDs can be very difficult to deal with sometimes but the fact that you still managed to control yourself and only had a small b/p means that there's real progress.
I hope that you'll keep progressing and that you'll complete at least 16 more days without b/ping (I'm sure you can do it as well :) )
Well done and good luck ...
This is a great achievement! Sounds like you're making great progress :)
When my better half was recovering from the BP side of her ED, we used to have a money chart to record money saved from BPs to go towards something nice (such as money to spend in a big topshop online order or to spend when we went to the harry potter studies). I don't know if money spent on BPing would count as ED numbers, but essentially if she had an evening or something on her own, she added a certain amount to the chart if she managed not to do it all, and a smaller amount if she managed to only have one 'cycle' and stop herself after that. It was good because even if she slipped up one or two days, it just meant it took a little longer to reach the target amount, rather than having to reset to zero.
Don't know if something like that might help you, but thought I'd mention it just in case!
