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Old 12-02-2020, 07:36 PM   #1
zombiehunter
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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struggling

2020 got off to such a promising start, I was getting to see my favourite band, I went to see them and I had a blast and I was buzzing for days but this is me we're talking about so the good times cant last

A few days later I realised a close friend was blanking me out and that really hurt and on top of that another friend phoned me out of the blue to tell me she had taken an OD and she was coming through to Glasgow from Edinburgh and she needed me to meet her at the bus station, there was no ****ing way I was going to put myself in that position and I made it clear to her at the time that I wasn't going to meet her, I messaged a few days later to ask how she was doing and explained to her how upset I was about what he had done to me and that I understand that when our mental health isn't good we say and do things we don't means (ive well and truly been there) but doing this to me again was not on (its the second time she's done something like this to me and ive learned since she's done it to others too)

as for the friend blanking me out, her mental health isn't doing too good either and like I say I understand when our mental health isn't great we say and do things we don't mean and i'm hoping this situation with her is temporary but I have reached out to her i'll give it time but its really ****ing bothering me cos she really helped me when I was having that bother back in 2017 and we've helped each other and shared so much in the three years since.

on top of all that my wee granny was rushed into hospital three weeks ago, she had a fall in the middle of the night fractured her hip, broke her pelvis and gave herself a nasty bump on the head, luckily neighbours heard her phoned the ambulance and my mum and she got help really quickly but she's not coming home, i've been to visit and we're all taking turns to go visit and because of the alzheimers its all too confusing for her even though physically she is healing she just cant be in her own house and be safe so she is going to have to go in a home/

all of this combined has given my own mental health a sever kicking, i'm struggling to keep my head above the surface and I cant afford to end up having a breakdown at a time when my family needs me, I bought razorblades a few weeks ago and although I still haven't used them its a comfort knowing they are there even though I am almost three years SH free.

I went to see the doctor today so the dosage on my meds have been upped and i'm being reffered to a local mental health service for extra support

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Old 12-02-2020, 08:16 PM   #2
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That's a lot to deal with. But I reckon you're a stronger person now than all those years ago so you can get through this without a breakdown. I'm glad you haven't used the blades and you've done the right thing by going to the doctor, I hope the med increase helps. When will the mental health service be in touch? Is there anything you can do for yourself in the meantime that might help?

*squish*

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Old 12-02-2020, 08:24 PM   #3
zombiehunter
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*squishes you back*

it'll be a few weeks before I get an appointment but I have things to do and look forward to, to keep me going as well

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Old 12-02-2020, 08:31 PM   #4
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Having stuff to look forward to is definitely good.

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Old 13-02-2020, 04:29 AM   #5
Auror.
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*sends squishes*

I'm really sorry about your Granny. That must be super hard for everyone. I'm glad you are working to try to take care of yourself too though. It sounds like you really want things to be different, and that in itself counts for a lot. Is your GP kind? Could you could see them again while you wait for the referral to go through?



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 14-02-2020, 06:45 PM   #6
zombiehunter
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*squishes awRAWR* long time no see matey

I don't have "A" GP as such i'm just stuck with whoever is available when I get an appointment

I had a good day yesterday and am feeling a wee bit better, just waiting for the appointment for MH centre to come through and I will do my best to keep myself occupied til then

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Old 15-02-2020, 12:30 AM   #7
Auror.
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Could you ask for an appointment with the same one you saw last time if they were nice?

What made your day yesterday nice?

<3



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 16-02-2020, 02:35 PM   #8
zombiehunter
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during the ay I was doing stuff with the charity I volunteer for and at night went to the cinema with my best mate of 20 years, I filled him in on whats going on and we ended up seeing two films instead of just the one

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