Am i a bad friend?

Stephkrebs12 · 23-05-2018, 03:28 AM

So a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine told me a secret that she didnt want my best friend to know about under any circumstances. So even though i wanted to tell my best friend this sectet i didnt want to lose my friend’s trust and i also kinda felt like the secret wasnt mine to tell so i didnt. But then today my best friend confronted me asking why i didnt tell her. Even though i gave her an explanation as to why i couldnt tell her she still seems to be kinda mad that i didnt tell her. Im also kinda annoyed with my friend because she made a big deal of makinh sure i wouldnt tell my best friend but she ended up telling her anyway 🙄 i feel like i didnt do anything wrong because i dont expect my best frienf to tell me everything but my best friend expects me to tell her everything. So can someone give me their insight? Am i in the wrong? Really need some advice :/

Tan.D · 23-05-2018, 09:27 AM

Hi :)

I firmly believe in the idea of "It's not my story to tell".

I can tell any secret I want to my friends, as long as its mine to tell. If somebody else tells me something about them- especially if it's really sensitive and personal- then they're trusting me with it to keep to myself. They are the only ones who get to decide who they want to tell it to. It can be my best friend- family, even- but if I know something personal about somebody that they've specifically told me not to tell anyone, then I have to respect that, because it's not my story to tell.

It doesn't make you a bad friend at all. In fact, it makes you a really good one. The fact that you didn't tell your best friend about it doesn't make you a bad best friend.

Stephkrebs12 · 23-05-2018, 08:35 PM

Yes! That was also my thinking about it as well. I felt pretty bad about withholding that info from my best friend but it had nothing to do with her so thats why i didnt tell her. And if i did tell her i know it wouldve come back to bite me in the butt because ive experienced this similar situation last year with the same friend and my best friend so i didnt wanna be put in the middle of their drama again. Thats also anither reason why i kept it to myself. Anyway im rambling now lol but thank you for your input! It has made me feel much better. (:

23-05-2018, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephkrebs12

So a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine told me a secret that she didnt want my best friend to know about under any circumstances. So even though i wanted to tell my best friend this sectet i didnt want to lose my friend’s trust and i also kinda felt like the secret wasnt mine to tell so i didnt. But then today my best friend confronted me asking why i didnt tell her. Even though i gave her an explanation as to why i couldnt tell her she still seems to be kinda mad that i didnt tell her. Im also kinda annoyed with my friend because she made a big deal of makinh sure i wouldnt tell my best friend but she ended up telling her anyway 🙄 i feel like i didnt do anything wrong because i dont expect my best frienf to tell me everything but my best friend expects me to tell her everything. So can someone give me their insight? Am i in the wrong? Really need some advice :/

You’re not a bad friend. There is nothing wrong with keeping secrets someone told you not to spread. You would have been a bad friend had you told your best friend the secret. In all honesty, you’re the kind of person I would love to be friends with knowing that you can keep a secret if told to do so. You seem like a trustworthy person, not too many of those kinds of people out there. I’m sorry your best friend got mad, that isn’t right.

Stephkrebs12 · 23-05-2018, 10:34 PM

Thank you for your kind words (: ive been feeling so awful about this whole situation. But im so glad that someone is able to see my point of view. So again thank you

Dataunit · 26-05-2018, 04:28 PM

You're not obliged to tell your best friend anything. You're definitely not in the wrong here!

Stephkrebs12 · 27-05-2018, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dataunit

You're not obliged to tell your best friend anything. You're definitely not in the wrong here!

Thank you thats what i thought (: update were on good terms again. So it all worked out