Home Treatment Team/Crisis Team experiences

[sandalwood]

If you have had positive or negative, (or mixed) experiences with the Home Treatment Team/Crisis Team, please share.

I'm currently under the team after 2 months of feeling suicidal and self harming but no attempt. I keep myself safe, which might be the problem with getting help with other things like my low mood. I've been in hospital for 3 weeks voluntarily last year and found I had no help there either. There were more volatile patients in there than myself.

I'm finding the HTT useless at the moment. They aren't taking my problems with severely low mood (it fluctuates through the day) seriously. I'm seeing them every other day and they are telling me to continue doing what I usually do which is distracting myself and sleeping when I can. But how long will this last and how much can I take? I do not want to go into hospital again- I've been Sectioned before, and the thought of hospital is deterring me from seriously harming myself. I loathe mental health wards.

What do the HTT/CRT do for you?

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry things are hard for you right now and HTT don't seem to be helpful. Do you know what would be helpful? If you did you could maybe let them or someone else know what you need rather than have them do what they think you need. Do you have any other support? Doing practical things with someone, like going for a walk or going to a group might be useful if you could access that. I think a lot of HTTs aren't that great, they really just want to keep you safe, so it's about what other things you have in your life. I hope you can find something that works for you.

[sandalwood]

Thanks one_step_closer.

So far I have only one nurse I get on with who has visited. Thankfully , she visited me today and I felt listened to.

As for letting them know what I need, I find it difficult to tell them to do their job well. They need to listen and ask the right questions, not come in for 3 minutes to check if I'm eating 3 meals a day and I'm sleeping alright. You can cope, goodbye! is how they are.

The 'right questions' would be about suicidal feelings and self harm. I've had nurses just brush my experiences away because I could cope at the moment they were seeing me.

I have a mother and sister. We go out sometimes but when it comes to support there's only so much they can do as they don't understand fully.

I remember ringing up the crisis line one time and a nurse getting very angry I didn't wait until the CRT opened (it was 5 am). I was going through psychosis and self harm urges and needed more help than put ice on your wrist.

I just want them to understand what I'm going through.
Some do, some don't. I only have one nurse I can trust at the moment.

[Soft Kitty]

I'm sorry your experience has been generally unhelpful. I think a lot of people would resonate, and I think the issues you raise are very pertinent and reasonable things to suggest.

My understanding is that there's less explicit talk about risk (especially where suicide is concerned) because evidence suggests that it makes things worse. While I can understand that it's more important to talk about feelings and thoughts, I don't think it's helpful to make risk 'untalkable about'. I might be wrong, but I don't think it's useful to not at least be asked those questions, even if it's not the focus.

My experience with the crisis team is generally helpful, but I think my team on the whole is quite compassionate and treats people as people. They are good at both taking through difficulties and offering suggestions for self-care/distraction in the short-term. They're going to have to be very competent as they're closing the ward in my area with a view to avoiding admission where humanly possible (I have mixed feelings about this, but like you, would much prefer to avoid hospital).

[sandalwood]

Thank you for sharing Soft Kitty. I'm so glad you have a good crisis team you can rely on. The closure of the ward sounds a bit frightening, especially for those who need it.

I agree that risk needs to be talked about. At the moment, I'm afraid of how certain people would react if I said, "I didn't feel safe yesterday. What do I do when I am in the dark and can't see straight?" or "I don't feel you are listening to how unsafe I was yesterday." (I'm trying to put the words together here). I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling at times because I fall into a dark void. Calling them when I'm in this 'dark void' can be a huge risk because I don't know who I'll get on the phone. I've had arguments with them before as they want to know if I've taken my PRN and that I should just wait it out.

I don't want to cause alarm with how sick I can get which is why I just sit and answer their questions and they go. When their questions are good I feel 'held' and supported.


Thanks for listening.

[Pomegranate]

Not many words tonight but I think your first question about how to manage when you’re in that dark place is a good one. Also, perhaps you could show them (a version) of your last post because you seem to articulate well in writing.

[sandalwood]

Thanks Pomegranate.

I feel more confident with what I say today. Writing helps me put language to the indescribable. I feel I'll be able to articulate myself better in the future with them. That said, I have a fear of hospital so I can't dive into all the details in depth.

[one_step_closer]

I know what you mean about the 'right questions.' I said once to my psychologist that I often sit with professionals and they ask me stuff and in my head I'm thinking 'that's not the question I need you to be asking, ask me this.' My psychologist said that I should say what I need to be asked, it is hard though but writing things down could be a very good idea. If you let them know that you are having a hard time but want to do all that you can to stay out of hospital then I'd hope they would do their best to support you with that.

It's a shame when there are few professionals who seem to understand you. I get that. I find most of the people in my local voluntary crisis service really hard to talk to and quite unhelpful. My support worker has in the past asked me to let him know what I want/need from crisis and he would feed it back to the team and put it in my notes so people would hopefully follow that. So, for example, I let him know that when I phone I want to talk about what I'm going through not have people push distractions. People didn't always follow the plan but it's good to have a say on what is best for you.

[sandalwood]

I used to have that kind of relationship with the Crisis Team, one_step_closer- where I would talk about what I needed more. Things have changed a lot between me and them, so communicating has been difficult.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sorry you had to go through this too.

[yoyogirl]

My experiences were mixed, during my first crisis shortly after the incident I saw someone every day for 3 weeks, they talked about hospitalization on a number of occasions, which could have really helped me.

The second occasion wasn't great as I was referred to them via my Psychiatrist but they didn't get in touch with until after week after the crisis to come round, by that time I was in a better place.

The third time, my mum called them during my psychosis episode, and their advice was "keep her distracted,tell her to read a good book, listen to music" which I was in the middle of my first and only full-blown psychotic break and that experience has put off me off crisis teams for life. I still have had numerous episodes with depression etc and issues with c+p and pregabalin and other tablets and self-harm issues, but I have never bothered calling anyone. So its most likely people are gonna find out the hard way if this continues.

[one_step_closer]

That's a shame. Do you know what it is about the one nurse that you trust which makes you trust them?

[sandalwood]

yoyogirl- I'm sorry you had those experiences. I know what you mean about one person putting you off them forever. Like you, I've had mixed experiences over the years and it's been a long time that I've sought their help. I hope you do reach out when you need to because your life is worth the risk.

one_step_closer- the nurse is therapeutic to be around. The others have a different way of communicating with me. I think it's down to her communication skills and empathy. I find empathy is lacking with some staff.

[one_step_closer]

Yeah, you'd think that MH professionals would have empathy but it often seems like they're the most judgemental. Do you see this one nurse often? How have you been doing recently?

[Pomegranate]

I have to be honest, the vast majority of nurses I’ve come across (personally and professionally) have been lovely- especially in community teams. Those who aren’t usually still come from a good place and don’t mean to be judgemental. Prob 10% are what I would define as ‘just knobs’! Which I agree is still high but it’s definitely not the majority. Maybe think about whether you could explain how she helps you etc so the others can take it onboard and alter their approach slightly?

[sandalwood]

one_step_closer- I've met judgemental nurses, social workers and therapists who have passed their verdict on my mental state without really looking at me. I quickly cut off contact any time I feel there is somebody this unsafe working near me. I don't have much contact with the CMHT for this reason. I feel better away from them.

I'm not good. I'm dissociated a lot and am heading down the path to self harm again.

Pomegranate- I'm glad you've had a good experience with nurses working in the community.

-
Well, I had that man who asked 3 questions again and left. He barely stayed 4 minutes before he had to run. I felt deeply for the others who he'd seen because I must not be the only one who finds it hard to open up to them and say "Please stay longer and ask me the right questions." Sorry I just can't do that when they have the abrupt and brusque manner that some of these nurses have. They brush you off, they do not want to talk and they do not want to know. They can trigger people and they are not triggering me at the moment.

I know if they cared they'd do their job in a different manner. What kind of support does the One nurse give me? She treats me with kindness and empathy. These are things you can't 'tell' others to cultivate. It must come naturally working in the area they are in.

I've had experiences, years of experience when younger working with advocacy teams to get my point across. Where did it all lead? To my understanding of management and the kind of people working in this area. I've talked a lot, written a lot, had a lot of meetings with angry and defensive people. I have left my work with advocacy and am suffering the same way that I did for years trying to make my 'views heard.' I take people as they come and do my best to not rely on them for anything huge, but when it comes to my life, I demand some respect from the people who are supposed to save it.

Thanks for listening.

[one_step_closer]

I think professionals would disagree that they are supposed to save your life. But I understand your frustration.

Have you used advocacy as an adult?

[sandalwood]

I am an adult.

[one_step_closer]

I mean, I thought you meant you had advocates as a younger person and was just wondering if you had used advocacy as an adult. Sorry if I misunderstood.

[yoyogirl]

The issues is that I naturally change quickly one minute, I am in a good place I feel awesome practically feeling high euphoria and next minute I am the complete opposite.
I also tend not to say how I truly feeling or elaborate, i often go to quick or too slow