My sister

[tamobhuuta]

It's probably best to just put it in yesterday and focus on today. Thanks for your patience with me.

[one_step_closer]

Post here any time you need to, I don't mind reading and responding when I can. I hope you have a good day today.

[tamobhuuta]

My sister won't go for a walk with me because she says I haven't eaten enough. I can't bring myself to eat more.

[one_step_closer]

Do you trust your sister? I'm sorry you're struggling with eating things at the moment.

[tamobhuuta]

Sometimes. But she had a smaller lunch than me so how come she gets to say I didn't have enough?

[Auror.]

If she's eating enough consistently, she can have smaller meals from time to time and make up for it later. It sounds like you are not having enough period, and her concern is that it is unsafe for you to be moving more if you are not eating enough. It sounds like she must really care about you and your safety.

[tamobhuuta]

A woman jumped from a high place in town. I've been telling myself I shouldn't jump because I wouldn't die but she did die. I'm really tempted.

[chinahorse]

You can't guarantee you'd die as well. I've been told by a police man the worst thing he's ever seen is someone left paralysed and begging him to kill them while they waited for the ambulance as they'd jumped off somewhere high.

Can't think of any situation that would be improved by someone having to wipe your behind and shower you and spoon feed you.

What can you do instead of thinking about this?

[tamobhuuta]

I'm watching Friends which helps me not think. Thanks for your reply. What you say makes sense.

[tamobhuuta]

I think my sister is SHing, she's in her room, didn't come to the door when I knocked and said I couldn't go in.

[one_step_closer]

It sounds like you have a lot of worries about yourself and your sister, I can relate to how distressing that can be. How are you both today?

[tamobhuuta]

So far so good. My brother went to church with me, Dad and my sister went for coffee and we all met up to sort out meds. Now we're at home having tea. I'm feeling quite chilled, N seems to be ok.

[tamobhuuta]

Why am I so obsessed with control? Why does restricting feel so good?

[one_step_closer]

Have you explored those questions with your CPN? I guess we all like to feel in control of most things, lack of control can feel scary. But having proper nutrition is being in control too in a much better way. Restricting can lead to even less control over how your body is behaving.

[tamobhuuta]

I have talked about it with him, he says the same thing, so do my parents.

[one_step_closer]

What do you think about what everyone's saying?

[tamobhuuta]

I feel like they don't understand me.

[one_step_closer]

They might not have the same perspective as you, do you feel like anyone understands? I think people can understand the emotions and anxieties you go through relating to eating even if they don't understand why you'd want to restrict etc, maybe you could focus on working through them.

[tamobhuuta]

Thanks. I might ask my CPN for an appointment.

[tamobhuuta]

My sister was really brave and phoned the Samaritans then the local MH line. They weren't very helpful but the local MH line said they would tell her CC she had phoned so she will hopefully get in touch tomorrow.