Please try not to burn yourself. If you're still in the hospital, that could lead to you getting restrained again, and that can't be very pleasant.
These bugs must be terrifying, but, remember they are part of your disease. Where I live, we get a lot of ticks, so I spent a lot of time looking up how to get bugs out of one's self. The easiest way I've found, is that you cover yourself in thick lotion. Bugs need air, and the lotion makes it really hard for them to breath. Also, the bugs couldn't get in through the layer of lotion.
I have had things where I have seen and thought I had bugs in me/on me. I know hospital sucks and that it is really hard.
However I just wanted to say a few things.
Hospitals are cleaned thoroughly all the time. When people sight bugs in hospitals they call in exterminaters. So I think the mindreaders would find it really hard to get bugs into the hospital. I also think that with all the locks and doors the mind readers would find it too hard to get you in there.
(This is Abigail by the way, from Aqua, hence how I know about bugs in hospitals).
I also think cutting yourself is dangerous because whilst it may seem to help, I think something is tricking you here, because cutting is harming yourself and can lead to infection. Have you burnt before? Because burning is even worst than cutting for infections. It is absolutely horrific and so easily infected.
Also, you've told me before that you have paranoid schizophrenia. I know it's really hard, but do you think part of this could be your illness making you think that? Because before you've described the mindreaders as being caused as if by psychosis/schizophrenia.
If you don't believe it's schizophrenia, that's fine and I'm not going to argue. What's important to me is that you are safe and not distressed, not what it is.
aw sweetie it must be awful but listen to is it is just yourillness making youthink these things. I know its really hard to accept and belive this as it seems so real i know what its like but please try and tell yourself its yourmind playing tricks. Love you x
i dont know how well i will do with it though as my memory and concentration arent very good right now but i said i will try.
She cant post tonight as is too tired and doesnt have the phone battery left to enable her too.
She said she will try and post again tomoro though.
But she has asked me to let you all know what has been happening.
She is still having problems with the bugs and the Mindreaders and has mentioned these a lot.
She also says there has been a couple of incidents today.
She says that this afternoon she tried to kill herself and she could see dots in front of her eyes etc and nearly collapsed but the nurses saved her.
She also said that later on she flipped out a bit [cant remember exactly why, sorry] and had to be restrained again but ended up attacking two of the nurses when this happened.And then also had to be given additional medication.
She has now apologised to the nurses she attacked and says they are now fine with her.
Things still seem so rough for Oly and im sure she would appreciate some kind words left for her here.
Sorry if this update isnt very good Oly and everyone.
i have done my best.
Oh and Oly my message for you - i really care about you and think your wonderful and im so sorry your going through all this, please please keep fighting! xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
I really want to say something but I'm not sure what to say. I want you to know that we're all supporting you a missing you. I hope things will get easier for you soon. I know they will. You're incredibly strong. Keep fighting. xxx
I finally got on the internet. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU ALL.
I tried to kill myself again and attacked a nurse. Nearly got sent to secure, but something amazing happened.
A health care assistant had a 40 minute serious talk with me. I feel quite a bit better now. The Voices, Bugs and Mindreaders are not real, I realise my paranoia and I will never self-harm or attempt suicide again. I am going to work to recovery with my Mum, my psychologist, my psychiatrist and my friends. Already I feel brighter and can see my future becoming the Truth.
I have started eating properly again. I still see the bugs in my food and drink and on the walls, but I know they're not real so I just swallow them or ignore them. I still have other issues but I am learning to deal with them. I have written up a recovery note on a piece of paper and will type it up when I get a chance so I can post in on moving on.
I hope to get off constant observation tomorrow and maybe get leave on Monday.
Thanks guys! You help SO much and are amazing.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Steel - I am so glad you have realized they are not real, and it makes me so hapy for you to hear you sound so hopeful and positive. :) My thoughts are with you.
Yes indeed some of the staff are amazing. Its the healthcare assistants who are the best. But you guys on RYL really help too. I haven't finished writing my recovery note. As is typical of something from me, it is long, and I want to make sure it is perfect so I can publish it on the internet for all to see to get inspiration.
Again, thank you.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
