Talking to her went well in the end. I took an overdose (very small, I stopped myself) on Tuesday night so I just had a quick chat with her on Wednesday about making a 7-day plan for staying on maintenance and going back to training/sport and on Thursday she came to see me but I was feeling too low to do anything, I didn't even manage to uncover my head from my blanket. But she came back to have a quick chat with me on Friday and she's helped me to work out a bit more to increase with for training days because she said it was too low, and she's going to help me do a weight graph of my time here on Wednesday to continue at home, she said it can be useful for when you're at home.
I'm not being discharged on Wednesday now, I'm going to be discharged on 20th September instead, because my consultant wants me to actually be able to meet my community team before I'm discharged. It's just an extra 10 days so it's not too bad, but hopefully it will mean I can leave feeling a bit more able to cope and stay safe.
The thoughts are really strong in my head at the moment - I panicked so much about the main pudding yesterday, I'm struggling to stick to all my snacks when I'm on my own, and part of my head is still wanting to OD and lose weight. But I am trying as hard as I can to let those thoughts just be there without acting on them.
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