Pleeeease pleeeeeeeease can we just give helen a little break? She has barely even written on this thread since she went into hospital, she isn't being argumentative, she isn't looking for a reaction. She is probably most vulnerable at this time and has a massively important decision ahead of her about whether or not to embrace treatment, and I don't think these comments are going to push her in the right direction.
I don't disagree with any of the comments above, you have all made valid points, but I just don't think that they have been expressed in a constructive way. I know that if I read those comments guilting and bullying me into getting treatment I would feel attacked and defensive and would probably cling to the coping mechanisms I knew e.g. an ED.
None of us really know what the treatment plan is like for her at CH, what the circumstances are, so we really shouldn't make judgements about what she may or may not be 'throwing away'. You might think 'oh I left treatment in compleeetely different circumstances, my situation is nothing like Helens' but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. Perhaps it is completely different, but I just think it is wrong to assume, and judge on those assumptions.
Ranting threads do not necessarily reflect reality - they are a place to unload our very worst thoughts, the worst of the horror and pain in our minds, they are not a place for statements of fact so perhaps should not be treated as such.
I know you all have Helen's best interests at heart, I just think people should maybe be more sensitive right now at this delicate time? Fighting mental illness is HARD, and there is absolutely a time and a place for the cold hard reality, the blunt truth, but personally when I was struggling to face up to my illness and struggling to fight, it was warmth and SUPPORT from people that I needed and let me know that I would not be alone if I let go of the self destructive behaviours that had been keeping me company.
Personally, my comment wasn't aiming to be particularly guilt tripping, a scare tactic or bullying. Because quite frankly I wouldn't see the point in it. I was just saying things as I literally thought of them with no intention of creating the sentences in such a way to evoke a particular reaction.
There's been so much support, and I think there comes a point where people realise support isn't productive anymore. It's too comfortable to just keep being nice all the time as if nothing needs to change drastically and quickly.
I think that you barn storming in with all the moral high ground talk of us needing to give her a break doesn't have a place here. People will say what they want to say regardless. And you don't set the bench mark for what's right or wrong, no one does.
It's almost insulting that you feel the need to remind people that mental illness is hard. Most if not all of us will have first hand experience of that fact.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
Helen hun,
you really need to think about this, dont let your bulimia think, find the you that is rational.
You live in Wales, treatment is extremly hard to get in that country and your so lucky they agreed to fund you again, but if you leave, you may never get a bed again, you may never get the help again, and then you will stay ill forever.
Is that what you really want? Your so young, I know have an eating disorder is so bloody difficult dont get me wrong I am not trying to patrionise you at all, but I think if you feel deep down inside yourself, you dont want to die, you dont want to be bulimic anymore, you dont want to spend your life constantly devoting yourself to your eating disorder, its such a miserable and heartbreaking illness.
I know that if you got well, not completly, but well enough to cope and function, I know that you could achieve so much, and you could have some fun, and go out with your friends, and have a life! Your a young girl Helen, you need to egt out there, live your life, do what young people do, go out shopping, go clubbing, get drunk, have girly nights, go on holiday, achieve your dreams.
You need to let go of your illness its not doing anything for you, its not your friend, infact its your worse enemy, and it may convince you that "it" is the only thing that cares about you, but its not, your eating disorder hates you and wants you to die, because youll never be good enough for it. But think of all the people out there that care and love you, your mum, your Oma, your friends, RYL, Oreo! They would be devastated to lose you, and they would be in so much pain for there rest of there life.
You only get one chance at life, there is no replay - once your gone, your gone. Dead and buried in the mud!
Just look at the sky, see how blue it is, look at the trees and there green leafs, look at the flowers, smell the air and feel it on your skin, and notice how beautiful life really is when you give yourself a chance.
If you go on the 7th, you have to face the fact that there is a high possibilty you will never get help again, and then you will regret that for the rest of your life until you die.
I know its not easy to overcome ED thoughts - believe me, Ive jsut been sitting with a nurse crying my heart out because my anorexia is so loud, but you have to listen to the rational side of you that wants to live.
A nurse told me that think of things as the angel and the devil on your shoulder, the devil is your ED, and the angel is you, you need to make your angel stronger in order to overcome bulimia, which means going against bulimia.
I know its hard, I really do.
I really hope you make the right decision, and not let bulimia make that decision for you.
I mean what did you say to me, when I told you I was on complete bed rest? You told me I was really ill and that I could die, I was even told that by the nurses. So you need to look at yourself, your ill to, and your letting your eating disorder win.
Please give life a chance, there are so many amazing things out there, that we all take for granted.
Go out for some fresh air in the garden if you have one, we have one here, just sit there and feel the air on your skin, and smell the smells, and listen to the noises, feel how your body is working and fighting, give yourself a minute to think.
Attacking someone else is different from being honest. Please remember that.
It was not meant as an attack but I re-read the 8 odd pages and I just felt that blunt was needed not huggy huggy kissy kissy. So to me it read as blunt. There is nothing in it for me to attack someone so why would I purposefully want to do it?
But you do have the right to your opinion.
Helen, if you are still following this thread I think the person in the best position right now to comment and understand how you are feeling (and I say understand, not 'know') is Sammi so please read what she wrote.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hel are you still following this?Please tell us whats happening?Look at everyone trying to offer you help and suppport.i also agree about Sam's posts to you and on her own thread [i hope Sammi doesnt mind me pointing you that way - if you do Sam tell me and i will take this off] - please read them.
The ED is dominating you right now sweetheart but it doesnt have to.Please keep fighting.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
I think if the responses were different [and she's online on other sites], she may well have come on here to reply. But again, updating a thread that probably feels frosty to her wouldn't be a relished priority to a lot of people.
Hopefully she'll read this though and see sense.
Last edited by MissAnonymous : 04-09-2011 at 05:23 PM.
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