Summary of how I feel mentally (Trigger Warning: ED mention)
My mental health has really worsened and itís impacting on many facets of my life. Opportunities are disappearing and becoming limited. I used to have motivation and goals. Now Iím too tired, or simply not in the mindset for it and energy for things. I'm on leave from work. The times where my severe anxiety and my eating disorder arenít engulfing my thoughts I do feel sad, bitter, hopeless and disappointed and I want to enjoy life again and experience things and achieve things but I feel as though I have to put those things off. I am not well enough now.
Iím doubting myself a lot. Itís hard to leave the house at all as my anxiety physically and mentally manifests into horrific panic attacks with the added result of feeling like Iím going to collapse. I have a psychologist to go to and iíve only been prescribed valium which iím reluctant to try.
I canít justify eating much food, which is irrational but itís a real issue for me.
I feel very trapped right now but I am determined to find my way back out of this pit iím in.