I have decided that for the next month I will only read what I am interested in and I won't think about my future too much.
I am happy as I have realised that the Spies and Mindreaders are not real.
I am also in the process (with my dad's help) of asking the psych to refer me to the psychosis ward for proper treatment so I have less chance of relapsing again.
The Voices still yell at me. A Spy held a gun to me and said "I'm gonna f*cking kill you". I still feel like the BT Telecom Tower (everyone can read my mind). I know that when I eventually get leave I will feel extremely paranoid.
But I am hoping that if I get on that ward, I will get better and these things won't affect me.
I did 3 hours of maths and 1 hour of reading psychopharmacology today! I am happy wth myself. My ability to enjoy things has come back :)
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
The psychosis ward is in Bethlem Hospital near Croydon.
I feel so much better now that Logic has won the battle!
Maths and psych pharm keep me going. I am going to sign up for an OU diploma in pure maths starting Jan 2012.
However the Voices are still bad (but I can block Them out with music).
Lol Laurie, you are a genius indeed :D
Thanks :)
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I'm not allowed out of the ward yet but I will ask next week if I can have section 17 leave. But I'm apprehensive about going out because when I go out everyone stares at me, reads my mind and there could be Mindreaders about. So I'm not sure.
What are your thoughts about this matter?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
would someone go out with you? maybe if you were with someone you trusted the fear might not be so bad, and if you were worried about the Mindreaders or something, you could check it out with them. might keep things grounded...
Thanks tamo. I have requested to see a doctor about meds but I will also discuss how I want leave but I'm scared.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
do what is going to keep you and those around you safe. don't worry about the world (don't know if that's still a problem for you) it will take care of itself. x
I am happy as I have realised that the Spies and Mindreaders are not real.
^I hope you remember that sentence- it's very important!
Even though sometimes the Voices seem so real, and you simply have to believe them, try to remember what you said there.
Everything seems really positive at the moment, and I hope things continue to go well. And yayyy for maths :D
I haven't been allowed leave and they don't see any point in changing my meds (which I guess is fair enough).
But I am coming off the clonazepam slowly.
I've realised that I must occupy myself every single minute of the day, otherwise I will succumb to the Voices/Spies/Mindreaders, so I do the following:
- listen to music all day
- read my favourite textbooks with music playing
- computer games
- talking to staff
- visitors
- doing LOTS of maths while listening to music :)
Have you got any other ideas as to what I could do?
Thanks.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Glad things are on the up! Things to do....I reckon you'd be BRILLIANT at helping people as a volunteer who've had 1st time psychosis (like my G/F). A lot of people may not have the support she did (i.e my good self-& luckily my sisters friend is a trained mentl health nurse) & feel very vulnerable & scared.
I'm not saying devote your life to it but an hour every 2 weeks or so might make such a difference to someone! I wonder if you could ask your care worker/hospital staff or your friend 'c' to look into it for you?
My G/F is a befriender for a local girl (they meet once a week) & without her she'd have hardly any social contact at all.
Just a thought...please tell me if I'm being a nosy git (!).
Last edited by Norfolkboy : 17-06-2011 at 08:02 PM.
Reason: forgot something..
Norfolkboy, that's a really good idea :). Only problem is my Asperger's - I find it hard to verbally communicate with people I don't know (it's taken me 2 weeks just to have a brief conversation with a patient). But I will ask my social worker about it.
I've got my drive and ability to hyperfocus back! Last night I spent from 8pm to 12.30am programming on my laptop :) although I admit I felt somewhat "manic" (if that is the right word) so the nurses had to give me clonazepam =/
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I do a couple of OT activities but I cannot deal with group work. I spend most of my time alone on the internet, reading, doing maths and programming. And I have constant music with me.
I will look at the distractions link.
I just had to take clonazepam because I got rather agitated. The nurses are crap today.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Hitler's face is on the wall. He wants me to prove it to him that I can kill the Mindreaders properly this time.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.