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Old 16-06-2011, 05:07 PM   #2601
crazykat
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I am glad your using logic, keep at it. I am glad the psych was helpful. *cuddles*



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
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Old 16-06-2011, 05:36 PM   #2602
Steel Maiden
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Thanks Kat.

I have told C and my dad that I want to quit uni.

I have decided that for the next month I will only read what I am interested in and I won't think about my future too much.

I am happy as I have realised that the Spies and Mindreaders are not real.

I am also in the process (with my dad's help) of asking the psych to refer me to the psychosis ward for proper treatment so I have less chance of relapsing again.

The Voices still yell at me. A Spy held a gun to me and said "I'm gonna f*cking kill you". I still feel like the BT Telecom Tower (everyone can read my mind). I know that when I eventually get leave I will feel extremely paranoid.

But I am hoping that if I get on that ward, I will get better and these things won't affect me.

I did 3 hours of maths and 1 hour of reading psychopharmacology today! I am happy wth myself. My ability to enjoy things has come back :)



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 16-06-2011, 05:40 PM   #2603
LaurieR
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Hi Oly,


I am so glad that you are going to use Logic!! WELL DONE for telling the Spies to bugger off

LOL thanks, you are a genius indeed! Is that why I am not the top of the class at university, because I am a genius? :P

Well done for doing maths and psych pharm too Where is the psychosis ward, is it at the Maudsley Hospital? It is really good!!

Take care!


Best wishes,
Laurie



The freshly qualified Psycho-Pharmacologist who is taking psychiatric medications herself.

I am currently a postgraduate student in Psychiatric Research.



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Old 16-06-2011, 10:36 PM   #2604
Steel Maiden
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Thank you so much Laurie :)

The psychosis ward is in Bethlem Hospital near Croydon.

I feel so much better now that Logic has won the battle!

Maths and psych pharm keep me going. I am going to sign up for an OU diploma in pure maths starting Jan 2012.

However the Voices are still bad (but I can block Them out with music).

Lol Laurie, you are a genius indeed :D

Thanks :)



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 17-06-2011, 05:31 AM   #2605
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I'm glad music helps :) Music = love. Music = life

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Old 17-06-2011, 07:48 AM   #2606
lozza
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glad things seem a bit better now
thinking of you xxx



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Old 17-06-2011, 08:59 AM   #2607
Steel Maiden
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Thanks all.

I'm not allowed out of the ward yet but I will ask next week if I can have section 17 leave. But I'm apprehensive about going out because when I go out everyone stares at me, reads my mind and there could be Mindreaders about. So I'm not sure.

What are your thoughts about this matter?



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 17-06-2011, 09:17 AM   #2608
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would someone go out with you? maybe if you were with someone you trusted the fear might not be so bad, and if you were worried about the Mindreaders or something, you could check it out with them. might keep things grounded...



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 17-06-2011, 09:26 AM   #2609
Steel Maiden
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Thanks tamo. I have requested to see a doctor about meds but I will also discuss how I want leave but I'm scared.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 17-06-2011, 09:35 AM   #2610
tamobhuuta
 
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do what is going to keep you and those around you safe. don't worry about the world (don't know if that's still a problem for you) it will take care of itself. x



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 17-06-2011, 09:52 AM   #2611
Pi.R^2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steel Maiden View Post
I am happy as I have realised that the Spies and Mindreaders are not real.
^I hope you remember that sentence- it's very important!
Even though sometimes the Voices seem so real, and you simply have to believe them, try to remember what you said there.

Everything seems really positive at the moment, and I hope things continue to go well. And yayyy for maths :D



No other sadness in the world would do


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Old 17-06-2011, 12:43 PM   #2612
crazykat
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I am glad that you are using logic and are kicking butt, well done. Keep fighting, you will get through this



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 17-06-2011, 03:34 PM   #2613
Steel Maiden
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Thanks all :)

I haven't been allowed leave and they don't see any point in changing my meds (which I guess is fair enough).

But I am coming off the clonazepam slowly.

I've realised that I must occupy myself every single minute of the day, otherwise I will succumb to the Voices/Spies/Mindreaders, so I do the following:
- listen to music all day
- read my favourite textbooks with music playing
- computer games
- talking to staff
- visitors
- doing LOTS of maths while listening to music :)

Have you got any other ideas as to what I could do?

Thanks.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 17-06-2011, 08:01 PM   #2614
Norfolkboy
 
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Hi!

Hello Oly...

Glad things are on the up! Things to do....I reckon you'd be BRILLIANT at helping people as a volunteer who've had 1st time psychosis (like my G/F). A lot of people may not have the support she did (i.e my good self-& luckily my sisters friend is a trained mentl health nurse) & feel very vulnerable & scared.

I'm not saying devote your life to it but an hour every 2 weeks or so might make such a difference to someone! I wonder if you could ask your care worker/hospital staff or your friend 'c' to look into it for you?

My G/F is a befriender for a local girl (they meet once a week) & without her she'd have hardly any social contact at all.

Just a thought...please tell me if I'm being a nosy git (!).



Last edited by Norfolkboy : 17-06-2011 at 08:02 PM. Reason: forgot something..
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Old 18-06-2011, 08:06 AM   #2615
Steel Maiden
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Norfolkboy, that's a really good idea :). Only problem is my Asperger's - I find it hard to verbally communicate with people I don't know (it's taken me 2 weeks just to have a brief conversation with a patient). But I will ask my social worker about it.

I've got my drive and ability to hyperfocus back! Last night I spent from 8pm to 12.30am programming on my laptop :) although I admit I felt somewhat "manic" (if that is the right word) so the nurses had to give me clonazepam =/



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 18-06-2011, 12:34 PM   #2616
Ellyx
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Glad to hear you are doing better!

Do they have any OT groups gonig on that you could go along to? i found these really helpful when in hospital. xxx



Do not adjust your mind, there is a fault in reality


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Old 18-06-2011, 01:52 PM   #2617
crazykat
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It's good to hear things are a little better for you. There is a whole heap of distractions which can be found here that you may find helpful.



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 18-06-2011, 03:02 PM   #2618
Steel Maiden
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Thanks Ella and Kat.

I do a couple of OT activities but I cannot deal with group work. I spend most of my time alone on the internet, reading, doing maths and programming. And I have constant music with me.

I will look at the distractions link.

I just had to take clonazepam because I got rather agitated. The nurses are crap today.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 18-06-2011, 05:54 PM   #2619
Steel Maiden
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Hitler's face is on the wall. He wants me to prove it to him that I can kill the Mindreaders properly this time.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 18-06-2011, 06:22 PM   #2620
Buttons.
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Can you tell a nurse about seeing Hitler's face etc hon?



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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