Meltdown
Tonight, I had a meltdown in regards to my self-harm. I made a mistake. When I was out to dinner with my friend, I asked him if he would be uspet if I dated again. We aren't even together anymore and haven't been for a year.
Anyway, after that, I went into the bathroom and hit myself. Then, after my Mom got on me in the car, I started hitting myself again, and haven't been able to stop since, and feel like I need more and more force to get relief.
My therapist said that I am building up a tolerance to the pain and I think she's right.
I am too damn stupid to even last a few days without harming myself. In addition to being stupid, I am pathetic. Why not bash myself? I too weak to stick to stopping anyway.
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