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Old 14-04-2012, 06:02 AM   #1
Celticroots
 
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Meltdown

Tonight, I had a meltdown in regards to my self-harm. I made a mistake. When I was out to dinner with my friend, I asked him if he would be uspet if I dated again. We aren't even together anymore and haven't been for a year.

Anyway, after that, I went into the bathroom and hit myself. Then, after my Mom got on me in the car, I started hitting myself again, and haven't been able to stop since, and feel like I need more and more force to get relief.

My therapist said that I am building up a tolerance to the pain and I think she's right.

I am too damn stupid to even last a few days without harming myself. In addition to being stupid, I am pathetic. Why not bash myself? I too weak to stick to stopping anyway.

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Old 14-04-2012, 07:45 PM   #2
Charmed
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Hello,

I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment. I'm unsure if your friend said he would be upset or wouldn't, but it seems unfair for him to say he would be upset considering you are no longer together and haven't been for a while. Do what you think is right, if he is a true friend he won't mind.

You are most definitely not stupid or pathetic or for hurting yourself, its so hard to stop and we all understand that. You have been strong so far and you can continue to be strong. Please don't put yourself down for this, you can do it. I believe in you. Maybe talk to your therapist about your tolerance to pain, and talk to her about how you are feeling recently. She can help.

Take care, stay safe <3




Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?


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Old 14-04-2012, 11:12 PM   #3
kookydoll
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You're not stupid, pathetic or weak. Self harm is a very difficult thing to struggle with. I hope you feel better soon.
TC



"I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning"
Stevie Smith

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