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Old 14-02-2021, 06:10 PM   #441
Darkwings44
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i dont think i can....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 14-02-2021, 09:09 PM   #442
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The following content has been hidden - Reason : .....im sorry.........
...........................................i need to...... i need to be.........dead......... theres no escape from them......... none.......... no where is safe!!!!!!!!!!!!





just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 14-02-2021, 10:29 PM   #443
Pi.R^2
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Who is 'them'? Sorry you're feeling unsafe- will you be talking to your therapist soon?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 18-02-2021, 03:20 AM   #444
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my counsions....they visted me......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 18-02-2021, 11:18 PM   #445
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I really would suggest that you think about telling the staff that you do not want your cousins to visit you, if it's upsetting you this much. I know you've said that it would be too hard, but it sounds like seeing them is really hard as well, so could be worth considering?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 20-02-2021, 12:15 AM   #446
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yes...... i'll try....

earyer in the week the power at the group home went out because of the weather and then a pipe busted so until the repairs are done we have to stay at one of the staff house...



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 20-02-2021, 11:02 PM   #447
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Glad you'll try to do that.

Oh no, that sounds very stressful! How is it going where you're staying now?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 21-02-2021, 05:01 PM   #448
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thank you...

we all back in the group home now we got back yesterday it was super stressfull this whole week has been super stressfull as well!!!!!


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 21-02-2021 at 05:02 PM. Reason: explaining it more


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-02-2021, 10:30 PM   #449
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i just found out that if im good that i can go home this weekend im kinda scared though because of my cousions might show up but i know that if i dont go i wont be able to get a chance at getting some drugs..........


Last edited by Pi.R^2 : 23-02-2021 at 07:04 PM. Reason: removed discussion of illegal activity


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 25-02-2021, 01:33 AM   #450
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im going home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really dont know weather to be excited or scared



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 27-02-2021, 07:50 PM   #451
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I hope you're enjoying your time at home.



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 03-03-2021, 11:30 PM   #452
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It was somewhat good I saw a beautiful lady at Starbucks on Monday and found out her name (the starbucks person remembered her name when i was asking about her and she was in line after me) and got a new hat and spent time watching movies with my mom ……… and somewhat bad….. didn’t get any xxxxx or tools………… which means I have no way of coping with my life so it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 03-03-2021 at 11:36 PM. Reason: explaining it more


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 05-03-2021, 10:26 PM   #453
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i have a tool now its not much but its mine



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 06-03-2021, 06:59 PM   #454
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i found this qoute online today and it makes sense......

"Self harm is a learned behavior, it's something your brain gets used, after a while your brain will also crave it. Self harm becomes your teddy bear, your "safety", something that makes you feel in control (even though you're far from in control).

i know that this is a recovery site but im not ready to let go of my self harm im not ready to let go of what makes me feel safe inside of my mind..... or outside of my mind...... im sorry.........



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 06-03-2021, 08:39 PM   #455
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I think it's okay to accept that you aren't in a place to quit self harming, because it definitely is a way to cope. That said, there's a difference between that and encouraging or glamorizing self harm, which is what RYL in general (and the rules) take issue with.



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Old 06-03-2021, 09:52 PM   #456
Darkwings44
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thank you



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old Yesterday, 08:59 PM   #457
Darkwings44
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shound i tell my therapist that im not ready to give up my self harm?



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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