Hi, I hope this is the right place for me to post but apologies if it should have gone somewhere else.
I guess I'm just looking for a little support and/or advice in how I can help manage my own anxiety. I have a lot of big change going on in many areas of my life right now so it makes sense I'd be feeling this way, but it keeps spiralling into something that is completely uncontrollable. I've been having more and more panic attacks, both at home and at work, and I'm just so exhausted all the time because of it.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom to offer? How can I help keep it together? Right now I just feel like I'm falling apart all the time.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
Ironically for me, fighting the panic attacks and worrying about having one actually makes it worse and can make them spiral.
It sounds counterintuitive, but if I just accept that yes, they are going to occur, and yes they are awful, at least when they do occur I don't make it worse on myself.
Instead I focus on other things I can do to manage my anxiety - taking breaks if I need to, using sensory toys or changing my environment in ways that are calming for me, etc..
In a lot of therapy speak something like what I am referring to is referred to as radical acceptance, though I don't know if that is a term most folks are familiar enough with to use. I think it comes from DBT but I learned it a bit differently when I did ACT.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Hi pixiedust_11,
I'm so sorry to hear you've been struggling lately and feeling so anxious.
When I feel like I'm losing control, I think about what ways I can gain control again - this might sound really silly, but I like making lists to gain some order in my head about all the things I'm anxious about. Sometimes looking at a proper paper diary helps me too (depending what the situation is).
Is there anyone you can speak to about it? A friend, family member? Do you feel like speaking to a professional about it would help? Organisations such as the Samaritans or your GP are there to listen - make use of them if you feel it would help. They're specially trained, are neutral and aren't there to judge. They'll point you in the right direction for further support. There are some useful tips on the mind website too: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-...e-for-anxiety/
Thank you both for your replies, I do really appreciate it.
I like to write lists to help me break down my tasks at work, and I do find that grounds me before I let the panic set in. Perhaps I should try that in my personal life too. I'm not the greatest at accepting things for what they are, nor am I very good at seeing the small things I can stay in control of. I think I just need to try harder at being more patient with myself. Sometimes I find that letting go of the thing that I'm trying to forcibly change is the only way to overcome the pain it causes.
I think my biggest struggle is how much I fail to be able to reason with myself in the moment. It's just like something grips my mind and for however long it lasts, it feels utterly impossible to pull myself out. And that goes for depressive moods too, I just cry uncontrollably and tell myself how lonely I am and how nobody else really cares. Which is a ridiculous thing to say, because of course there's always at least somebody who cares.
I had tried to get a doctors appointment today but they weren't able to call me back for one reason or another. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I've tried for too long to hold this myself, but I think it's time to admit a need some help. It's just all a little bit too heavy right now.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
I think it's really brave of you to try to reach out to your doctor. That's not okay of them to not return your call, and I hope you can get through to them. You absolutely deserve help.
What if instead of challenging the thoughts or trying to logic yourself out of however you're feeling, you set a timer for however long feels reasonable. Then say okay, you can cry and feel lonely and mope and woe (or whaever else) for that long but once the timer goes off, you need to go do something else for at least a few minutes. Sometimes that can work because it still allows yourself to feel whatever is going on that's so overwhelming. Then if after a few minutes you still feel the same way, you can set the timer again. That way you're not worrying about pulling yourself out in the immediate moment, because you know you'll have an alarm going off when you do need to.
Feelings and being overwhelmed aren't inherently logical. That's okay. You don't always need to reason with emotions, but sometimes just letting yourself be in the moment and let it come can actually be a better means of control than forcing yourself to stuff it down.
Obviously at work this might not work so well, but if you find it happening maybe you can say that you're going to take a break and go be in the bathroom or somewhere quiet for x amount of time before returning? I dunno what your job is like to offer anything more specific.
I really hope your doctor responds and can help.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I managed to get through to a doctor eventually. He was very understanding and has written me a note to strongly suggest I work from home for most of the next few weeks. It has helped so far because work has been the source of a lot of stress lately.
I like your suggestion of using an alarm, that would take the pressure off me having to do anything other than be. Sometimes when things are bad I go to my piano and just play, even if I cry through it I'm still expressing myself in a healthy way and it feels just a little bit better.
The last couple of weeks have been more manageable because I reached out to people in my life. But I've had a dip since I've moved and now I live by myself. I'm so afraid of loneliness, I think it's one of my biggest fears. It's causing panic to set in. I experienced what I think was sleep paralysis last night and I woke up in tears because it was so horrifying. I know it's because I'm unsettled in myself and I don't know how to convince myself that it'll be okay. I just continue to catastrophise and tell myself everything will end badly.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
