It's a story for you

[Zedebee]

A lovely yet shy lady asked me to post this story on her behalf. I think it's rather awesome but I want to know YOUR opinions. Please let me know what you think and also if you'd like to read more, 'cause I sure do =)


14th March 1997

16:00
The girl’s hair whipped behind her as she skipped down the road, oblivious. As she neared the end of the road she slowed down and came to a standstill on the edge of the pavement in wait of her companion. Their cheeks were tinged pink from the cool breeze and their eyes glinted with adrenaline. The girls crossed the road and walked up to the turning into their street. But nothing could prepare them for the blue starry flashes and bodied up bag that their eyes were met with when they made that fateful turn.

13th March 2007

11:59
As Rosie sat there watching the clock, she closed her eyes to the silence around her. It had become ritualistic to her, counting down the minutes. And as she watched the second hand reach the 12 once more, and the minute hand click to 12oclock, she breathed the air into her lungs with power, and exhaled just as forcefully, to mark the critical point.
She watched the clock for another couple of minutes to be sure it was, in fact, the 14th March 2007, and, once convinced, she rose from her nest on the bed. Walking towards the window she looked out onto her street, a different street from the one 10years ago, but her street all the same. She stared at the slight movements outside; the cat from across the road silently making its way into the garden next door, the lights from two doors down on the other side of the road being mutely extinguished, the shadowed movements of people inside the house next to that. She just watched.


The door slammed. Snapped out of her trance she turned her head away from the window and she listened for the voices downstairs. She heard the attempts they both made to climb the stairs silently, and their failings as they fell into each other, drunk. Rosie did not move until she had heard them both enter their room and collapse onto the bed noisily then, proceeding with caution, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Here, she did what her daily duties asked of her; poured a jug of water, collected two glasses, and set them down silently outside the bedroom, from which she could now hear two breaths residing.
On returning to her room she reclaimed her seat at the window, watching the world sleep. And with a heavy heart, she slowly let herself remember the proceedings of that day, and slowly let herself remember that another year had passed, and for another year, he had forgotten.

[Queer Fringe]

who forgot what? lol keep going!!!!
Wow this is excellent! tell your friend to keep going, I'd love to read more!and it's very kind of you for posting this for her, tell her it's great!
Take Care xx

[Zedebee]

*cough*Bump*cough*

[Just Believe.]

I like it :) Tell her to keep going I want to read moreee!

[sweepingly]

This looks like a pretty interesting beginning. Your friend's writing style is very engaging; ask her to write more!

[Life Must Go On]

looks very good, ask her 4 more!!

[Caru y Nos]

Quote:

Originally Posted by binkydonkey

looks very good, ask her 4 more!!

[Zedebee]

Thanks for all the lovely comments everyone =)
I'm away for a bit so here's a long-ish bit to keep you going.

March 14th 1997

16:05
As the girl ran with her playmate towards the crowd slowly gathering around the flashing lights she heard her name being called from a distance and within seconds felt two strong arms clasp around her small waist. As she turned around, struggling against the force that held her air-bound, she was met with a face she recognised and instantly her struggles subsided, her Uncle. He forced a smile at her “hello kiddo!” She could see the strain in his face. She asked what was going on, why there were policemen in her house, why there was an ambulance, what was in the ‘big grey bag’, why he wasn’t letting her go in… why…why…

March 14th 2007

07:00
Rosie awoke with a start to the nightmare she couldn’t remember living without. So many questions she remembered asking as a child. So many unanswered questions then, still so many of the same questions unanswered. She shut off her alarm and shut her eyes again, allowed her mind to drift back to the time and place that she tried to forget for the best part of her life. The flashes…the bag…the police…the crowds…the knock on her door. Rosie was brought back to the now with a start, “come in”, she allowed herself to mumble.
“Morning love, thanx for the water, much appreciated.”
She replied to the sound of her dad’s voice with a nod and shut her eyes again until she heard the door click behind him, indicating his leaving. As she listened to the sound of his footsteps moving across the hallway and down the stairs, she sat up in bed. Looking around her she took in the surroundings that she absorbed on cue every morning; her bed in the middle of the room –single, her wardrobe on the opposite side of the room in the left corner, the window next to this looked out onto the road, her desk to the other side of the window, her sink to the other side of the wardrobe and her rug to the opposite side of the bed, nothing colour co-ordinated, everything lived in. Rosie rose from her bed and completed her daily routine; shower, clothes, breakfast. She looked at her face in the mirror, ‘the image of her mother’ her father had once said. Rosie couldn’t see it at the time, but sometimes, when comparing photographs of them both, she could apply the crescent eyes and the pale complexion to the two.
In autopilot she made her way down the stairs and out of the door, receiving the usual hungover grunt from her father and the slightly cheerier “bye Rose” from the wife.

She slung her bag onto the seat beside her and got into the car, turning the key and preparing to leave, when a call of “ROSIEEEEE !!” startled her enough to make her stop in her tracks. She waited as she saw the figure of her friend Jack come into view and jump in the other side of the car.
“Charming, Rosie, really charming. I give you driving custom for the whole four months since you passed and suddenly the ONE time when I’m two minutes late you get ready to leave without me!” He said it all very seriously but slowly his face broke into a grin, and with Rosie’s sincere apologies he gave her a punch on the arm and warned jokingly that if she ever pulled something like that again the consequences would be harsher. He gave her a wink and settled back into his seat, “Y’alright there love? You seem a bit distant?”
“Nah I’m all good, head’s away in the clouds it seems, sorry again about nearly leaving, nothing personal?”
Jack laughed again, “Really Rosie, you’re forgiven, and hey when is your head not in the clouds?”
Rosie smiled, Jack, one of her best friends, had been one of the people she had first gotten to know after they had moved to the new area when she was seven. Now at eighteen, and three months older than Rosie, he was one of the heartthrobs of the school to everyone but her, and although he would never let on to his adoring fans, she knew he really had a heart of gold.
They pulled up into the parking bay and Jack jumped out, “Gotta run, have to catch Kim before first period! See you after break!” Rosie laughed, there was always some girl he had to run and see.
“See you then, have fun?”
It was his turn to laugh, “Oh I will,” and with that she watched him walk briskly through the school gates.



The day went on in its usual fashion, leaving Rosie tired after first period, and in need of a serious coffee boost by break time. She sat there with her friends at break, nodding and smiling but not really listening, all I have to do is get through the day, she kept telling herself, then I can forget again. Towards the end of break she felt a nudge in her ribs and looked up to see Jack standing above her, “God girl, earth to Rosie! You’re lucky you have friends good enough to elbow you for me!” She heard Louise giggle apologetically beside her,
“Sorry Rose, he was insistent!”
Louise, Rosie knew, had a huge crush on Jack, just like every other girl in this school, she thought, so Rosie knew that sadly if Jack had asked Louise to jump off a cliff, she probably would have done so too. She smiled at her, apologised once more that day to Jack, and headed off with him to PSHE, a great-excuse-for-a-gossip kind of lesson. PSHE was the lesson founded more recently by the government to “enlighten the young people of today about topical issues affecting the world around us”, or in other words to tell the kids of the day about sex, contraception and obesity. All very interesting, if most of the information receiver by the class hadn’t already been learnt through word-of-mouth years ago. As they entered the classroom however there was an ill silence across the class, people were muttering under their breaths, but no notes were passed, nor text messages sent. When the two sat down, they both saw why. The word ‘SUICIDE’ was staring them down from the middle of the board, in big red capital letters. Jack gave Rosie a “here we go” kind of look, and they both removed their books from their bags, breaking the fallen silence momentarily in doing so.
“Suicide,” started the teacher, “is a word you will all be familiar with. It is the word commonly used to describe the act of taking one’s own life. But I want to ask you today, what you think it really means to commit suicide? What do you think goes through a person’s mind? How do you think they feel? What kind of impact can it have on the people around them? Firstly, I want you to retrieve a piece of paper from your bags and I want you to write on it a few words of what comes to your mind when I say the word ‘suicide’.”
There was a flurry of white, as people removed pieces of paper from their bags and started to write. Rosie could see Jack beside her writing furiously everything that came to his head, in fact, everyone around her seemed to have a lot to say on the matter.
“Now, I want to go around the class and I want you to all read out what you have written on your piece of paper. Lets start from the front and work backwards. Lewis?”
“Selfish. They hurt people around them,” a few people nodded.
“Kim?”
“Cowardly. They just take the easiest escape from life when everyone else has to sit here and live it.” Rosie inhaled slowly.
“Okay, Sophie?”
“Sad. I think it’s sad that people feel they have to resort to such drastic measures just to get away, and I think they must be very sad to do it.” Her head was starting to spin.
They had reached the back corner where her and Jack were both sitting now.
“Jack?”
“Disgusting.” She held her breath.
“Would you like to elaborate on that, Jack?”
“I think it’s disgusting, anybody who can do that to the people around them is disgusting, they don’t deserve to live in the first place, they’re clearly selfish, they…” Jack was cut off. Rosie had heard enough. With Jack’s words ringing in her ears, she grabbed her paper and her bag and ran out of the room. She ignored the voice calling her back and ran. Away from that classroom of anger, she ran out of the doors and out of the school gates onto the park. She ran across the green of the park, running and running until she felt her lungs giving up on her and she fell to the ground in a pool of tears.
She did not know how long she had been there when she realised she still had her piece of paper clenched in her right hand. But as she released her fingers she wondered how reading it again would feel. She unscrewed the paper to read the one word written there, coal to chalk, pen to paper. The one word that she thought of when someone said the word ‘suicide’ to her, the one word that could never be uttered under her own roof unless it was to relate to an actress, a wife to her father, but an actress of the part none the less. She read over the word again and again, until it was just a blur through the tears in her eyes. She shut her eyes and still she saw the word tattooed onto the back of her eyelids, “Mum.”

[Queer Fringe]

I will read the rest later, I read the first bit of chapter 2, it's excellent! I love it!
xx

[Just Believe.]

Wow..

[Queer Fringe]

Wow. that is...just wow! soo powerful hun. Woah...xx

[Zedebee]

I hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am =)
Here's the next bit.


March 14th 1997

16:55
As the girl sat where she had been told to sit, she looked around her. The chair’s were all blue and plastic, and as she waited, she swung her legs beneath her because her feet could not touch the floor. She looked up at the man sitting beside her. The policeman looked friendly, with short dark hair and nice brown eyes, she thought. The policeman’s hat was placed precariously on his lap and the little girl asked if she could wear the hat for a little bit. The policeman obliged and gave the girl a sad smile as he handed over his hat, and watched as the young child marched about the waiting room acting out the part of a policewoman. She marched about the small area, with the air of importance such that any police officer should hold, and was disappointed when her Uncle came to collect her. She had gotten to ride in a police car because her Uncle was in the ambulance ahead of them and the police officer had even put the siren on. The girl wondered if her mother was ill and whether that was what the ambulance was for, or maybe that the dog was sick again. But it would be okay because when people went to hospital the doctors made them better and then they got to go home again. She followed her Uncle into a small room where there were two other people sitting, and her eyes lit up as she saw the toys in the corner of the room and made a beeline for them.
“Not yet,” she heard her Uncle say behind her, “these people want to talk to you first if that’s okay?” The girl nodded. Maybe they needed her permission to give the dog medicine, she remembered as a child being in this hospital, and the doctors had to ask her mum whether she was allergic to any medicines, maybe that’s what they needed to ask her. She sat down next to her Uncle, and faced the two other people in the room. One lady and one man, the man had a stethoscope around his neck, the lady didn’t,
“Why don’t you have a stethoscope?” she enquired, addressing her question to the lady sitting before her.
“Because I’m not a doctor, I’m a councillor,” she woman answered kindly. The girl’s eyes widened.
“I’m a special kind of doctor, Rosie…”

[mmmMinty...]

ohhhhh oh oh oh oh oh
I like it :)
<3

[AbandonedPixie]

O.o

Wow...

[Zedebee]

" March 14th 2007

14:07
“Rosie… Rosie!”
Rosie’s eyes drifted open as her eyes scanned her surroundings. She was still in the park, Louise was knelt down beside her.
“Are you okay? Everyone’s looking for you! Jack’s really worried! He said you looked really pale, and Sophie said she looked like you were about to cry, apparently you just ran out of the lesson?”
Louise’s words washed over her as the cold hard words of reality brought her back to life and with this realisation she leapt up to the side of the path and was sick.
“Gosh, Rosie, you’re really not well are you? Come along with me and we’ll get you to the nurse”
“No. You’re alright. I think I’ll just go home, get some sleep y’know? I’ll be fine.”
She felt Louise’s eyes scrutinizing her pale face and the realisation flicker across her face that she wasn’t going to win any argument she tried to put up against her, so with a resigned “okay,” she helped her back to her car and agreed to let the school know that she’d gone home.
Rosie sat in her car contemplating the days events when she heard her phone buzz, reaching into her pocket, the device indicated fourteen missed calls and six texts, the most recent from Jack reading, “I’ll give you a call when I’m out, I hope you’re okay. x” She read the text and turned off her phone, she wasn’t going to be answering any calls tonight.
In a daze she drove home, narrowly missing the cat next door as she pulled into her driveway. In the house nothing stirred, no one was home. She made her way up the stairs and into her bedroom, once again placing herself onto her bed and staring at the swirls that the paint made in the ceiling…

March 14th 1997

17:00
Her eyes swum to the ceiling as the lady continued talking. Pretty patterns the ceiling made, she thought, pretty swirls...
“Rosie? Do you want to say anything?”
“The ceiling’s very pretty.” Rosie replied.
“Rosie, do you understand what we’re telling you?”
“Mummy’s ill, you’re going to make her better.”
Rosie felt two hands on her shoulders as her uncle turned her towards him, he had tears in his eyes, “Rosie, mummy’s not coming home.”
“I know, I didn’t come home when I was ill either for a bit, I had to stay to make sure the doctors could make sure I was getting better.”
“No, Rosie, mummy’s not getting better. Mummy…” he faltered as he tried to put what he had to say in words that a child would understand. He knew she didn’t understand what ‘suicide’ meant, nor what ‘counselling’ was, he needed to put his mind into a child’s, and yet he couldn’t seem to find the words. They had discussed what to tell the child, that she deserved to know the truth now rather than finding out in some other way later on, despite her young age.
“Rosie, mummy was very sad, she didn’t feel like mummy anymore and she hated it. Can you understand that?” Rosie nodded. “Mummy wanted you to have the best mummy in the world, and she didn’t feel like the best mummy in the world. She wanted everything to be perfect for you, Rosie, so do not think that any of this is your fault.” Rosie looked at the man sitting in front of her, her Uncle, and saw a different man than the one she’d always known sitting there, strained for the right words to say.
“Cathy, I mean mummy, didn’t feel she could be alive anymore, Rosie. She…she…” he faltered again, stuttering his words out, “she’ll be going to a happier place now… she hurt herself badly so that she could go to the happier place…she-killed-herself.” The last words came out all in a tumble, and he regretted at once not being able to find an easier way to put them when he saw the look on the little girl’s face. That face he wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life…"

[green.eyes]

wow....i mean.....wow

[Feel_Good_inc.]

Oh you've grabbed me with this. tis an amazing story. I'm loving it.

[Zedebee]

Dum de dum.
I think it's about time you knew who this talented writer actually is and give her some great big hugs and words of love and fluff.
'Tis the lovely Alex [Tears and Rain] .
Bow down before her =)

March 14th 2007

16:03
Rosie opened her eyes and closed them abruptly as the room swum in front of her. The face of her Uncle flashed into view, more lined now, his forehead more creased than she remembered back then, after years of ‘hard graft’ as he put it. She remembered his face as he told her and had to shut her brain off to the memories that sliced through it like knives. She reached up to the hanging jewels above her head and touched them lightly with her fingers making them spin and throw light across the different parts of the room. She remembered begging her dad to buy the catcher for her on a trip to the beach one Summer, and the delight she had felt when he finally gave in to her demands. She smiled at the memory, at the look of amusement on her mother’s face when she’d showed her the beautiful catcher, and the side glance that passed between her parents as they relished in her excitement…

March 14th 1997

17:02
All the excitement the girl had felt from being at the hospital, all the excitement from the ride in the police car, from the policeman’s hat, from the stethoscope, all drained out of her in that one moment. The girl was young, but not naïve to the feelings washing over her. If anybody had glimpsed the young child sat in the relatives room at that moment, their hearts would have crushed for her. The girl neither cried nor screamed, she didn’t shout out or crumple, she simply said one word, “Why?”…

[Leo Pard]

Actually.. Amazing..
*wants lots more*

[Tears and Rain]

Heh, as Zed's outted me I jus wanna say thankyou to you all for the lovely comments and stuffs, really means a lot :]

Hey Zed, does this mean i'll have to start posting myself now?! Haha. I might just make you do it anyway for good measure, we'll see ;P

Thankyou a lot anyway guys, and of course Zedster for agreeing to post for me <3