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Old 11-09-2012, 12:44 PM   #1
NewBeginning84
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Contains abuse - Life Circumstances Changing Plz Help

I know I seem like a moaner and a no hoper on my previous posts but I have reached a crossroad and circumstances are changing my life not necessarily the way I want them to change as I have probably mentioned before about living with my 80+ year old grandparents from age 14 – 28 years old because of my abusive father and now as my grandparents are getting to the stage where they are getting to old for my company and they are starting to REALLY ANNOY ME with their old age! I do not know what to do.

There has been many occasions where I have tried to find a flat to rent throughout a period of 3 years from age 22 – 27 money is not an issue really it is just they are in the wrong area or do not have a shower installed in the bathroom. Now this might sound like I am feeling sorry for myself which I am not but with my life I have always had to struggle to get to the stage where I want to be or get what I want and deserve which hardly ever happens and therefore I always get more lows than highs that is the way my life seems to roll naturally even with professional help from my CBT Therapist.


I went into town for a year going to the Library to learn web design and development but it all went pear shaped as there is no proper qualification, I lack confidence and I still have an ongoing commitment to my community where I live in keeping it liveable still and so from 2011 – 2012 I have stayed at home putting up with threats where we live and putting up with my grandparents and although I would never kill someone I have thoughts of killing the threats and my grandparents and in turn it is making me feel on edge and Very Angry as if I have had enough and want to run away and live in another country and I mean Spain, America, Italy and even to Afghanistan even if it means joining the Army!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As I do not seem to have a life in the UK but I do not have enough money to do that.


My CBT therapist has got me onto a programme at a private business where I will get qualifications in administration to get me started onto the road of employment but I would rather get qualifications in anything to do with the computer industry but she said I would benefit in doing admin instead for the time being as I would earn more money in the future but I want to do that in the computer industry but I suppose I can still do online courses in the computer industry in my own time if the private business gets me into a job.


But how is this supposed to help me with my life?? as it does not get me away from living where I do! As I want to leave home! So no flat = no life. Am I being a drama king?? But saying that my life always seems to stay in hell no matter what I do to make it to heaven where I deserve to be and need to be to stay focused and function able in life. I am running out of patience and I just feel like I want to lock myself in my bedroom until I die of old age in my 80’s or 90’s etc.


Kind Regards,


NewBeginning84


Last edited by NewBeginning84 : 11-09-2012 at 04:10 PM.
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Old 11-09-2012, 07:39 PM   #2
talaiporia
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Hey,

I'm sorry to hear about how difficult things are right now.
Can I ask what it is exactly you would like to happen? It sounds like for you finding somewhere to rent would solve a lot of your problems, and I wondered what was standing in your way at the moment?

Some people write a five-year plan, which seems a little bit too prepared to me, but I wondered what sort of things you were looking to do in the next few years?



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 11-09-2012, 10:08 PM   #3
NewBeginning84
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Hey talaiporia

Nice to meet you. Many thanks for answering my thread very much appreciated! Thanks for the condolences and times are very difficult for me at the moment x2! as you have read Well when it comes to my career and job I would like to work in the computer industry whether it be web design and development, becoming a computer technician, becoming a Microsoft Certified I.T. Professional (online course). But as no college in Exeter deals with these courses I am once again alone and have to rely on myself to teach myself and as I do not have any confidence in myself or my life I am stuck in limbo.

I suppose the next step would be to bite my tongue and do the administration qualifications at the private business and I will always have that under my belt if my future computer job goes pear shaped and I suppose I can always become a Microsoft Certified I.T. Professional in my own time in the evenings and on weekends even when the private business helps me to get a job in administration with a company which they advise me to do to get more money coming in.

VERY TRUE about finding somewhere to rent would solve a lot of my problems but as I said on my thread “There has been many occasions where I have tried to find a flat to rent throughout a period of 3 years from age
22 – 27, money is not an issue really it is just they are in the wrong area or does not have a shower installed in the bathroom.” So how am I going to find a flat that I want to live in when it does not seem to exist??

Damn my five year plan would become a 50 year plan as with my life I have always had to struggle to get to the stage where I want to be or get what I want and deserve which hardly ever happens and therefore I always get more lows than highs that is the way my life seems to roll naturally even with professional help from my CBT Therapist.

BUT IF a miracle happened I would have a computer career and job, I would successfully find a flat to live in, get a girl friend for the first time in my life and yep I am a 28 year old virgin:- ( and live a meaningful life but as miracles do not happen what is the point in making a 5 year plan or discussing about what I would like to do in just a few years time;-/?? I mean No Offence to your question! it is just the way my life seems to work:-/

Kind Regards,

NewBeginning84

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Old 11-09-2012, 10:46 PM   #4
talaiporia
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Exeter is a big city - are there really no places to rent with a shower? You could try gumtree or spareroom. What sort of specifications do you have aside from it having your own shower?

I think doing the course that's been offered sounds like a good step; it's a step in the right direction at least. 'Professional development' is always a positive thing.



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 21-09-2012, 01:03 PM   #5
NewBeginning84
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Hey talaiporia and barley thank you both for replying to my thread very much appreciated.

talaiporia


You can say that again talaiporia lol – lots of laughs especially as you live in a small county called Dorset but the problem that I am having with showers is that most of the flats in Exeter or around Exeter only have tap based showers and most of them will be slow and I hate baths yuck!
:- /

Thank you for the information about
gumtree and spareroom very much appreciated I shall have to look at them later. That is a very good question well I would like a flat which contains 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen and a lounge/dining room and I would like it based nowhere near a road so I would not mind living in a block of flats and have views that are not of roads and cars.

Thanks for your input about the course that has been provided to me and I to think it is a step in the right direction well 50/50; which comes to my next conversation with you as from Monday 17th to Friday 21st of this month I have spent my first week at the private company and they are a great bunch of people, very friendly and not pushy at all by demanding a lot from me.


It has been a very productive week this week being my first week and I have managed to pass the CLAIT Level 1 Exam with 100% accuracy but it was too easy really as anybody can do that with their eyes shut but at least it has gotten me away from home. So I guess? I need to start searching for flats again in my spare time to permanently get rid of my problems at home where I live now. What is the point of
'Professional development' if your life does not seem to allow it though?

Sorry for the 10 days late reply
talaiporia my life has become very busy with everything that is happening at the moment really including with what is happening at home as well but I hope you get to read this at least.


All the best.



barley


I am good thanks for asking I hope you are doing well as well, cheers I hope that something positive will come out from doing several qualifications from the private company as well and I suppose I have passed my CLAIT Level 1 Exam with 100% accuracy so that cannot be bad especially as I completed it in 1 week. Thanks I hope it works out for me to but I am still hesitant that it will not though:-/


Sorry I cannot help with
what has happened to Kay as I know what being a victim of invasion of privacy and harassment is like as I have been there done that and got the tea shirt but please give her my kind regards.

All the best.

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Old 21-09-2012, 01:10 PM   #6
talaiporia
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Actually, I live in central London, I'm just visiting Dorset, so I do know the joys of flat-hunting. :p I think there will be more places with proper showers than you would think - of my last five places, 2 had showers, and the other 3 all had bath-showers. If you aren't able to find somewhere, it's certainly worth visiting a letting agent, because there are places there you just have to find them. Generally though, if you look for an en-suite, most en-suites are showers, not baths.

I'm glad to hear the course is going well. This course is professional developement - the more courses the better, you can never have too many.



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 21-09-2012, 03:24 PM   #7
NewBeginning84
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Afternoon talaiporia

I did not expect a quick reply from you especially as 10 days has gone by and I was just about to pm you just to let you know I had posted a reply to you so thank you.
Cool that you live in Central London and just visiting Dorset I hope you are enjoying yourself there being out of the hustle and bustle of City Life? Nice and quiet in the Country hu! Well in Dorset anyway as it is further out of the city. Ow yes flat hunting is riveting and exciting isn’t it hu lol going through pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of advertisements, searching for your specific needs but then you find out they only let you rent the flat for 6 months a time, ow what fun!

Well I hope you are right as in the past 4 years I have been searching all I have found is bath-showers which I hate. True I might visit a letting agent soon as maybe they can find what I am looking for maybe. If I can recall I saw just 1 flat that had an en-suite in the past.
Thanks, yeah so far so good but I do not hold much hope for it yet as I am just waiting for something bad to happen to stop my training but I suppose it is early days yet.


Okay fair enough that the course that I am on is professional development; I was hoping that you were not going to say “the more courses the better, you can never have too many.” as that means I have got to work hard and do a lot of paper work whatever it may entail but ow well.



All the best.

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