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Old 17-08-2009, 02:19 PM   #1
Emmabob.
 
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After how long are you a "recovered" self harmer?

Yeah, I'm just interested in what people think..

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Old 17-08-2009, 02:37 PM   #2
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not sure, i guess its what you think..

i think i am and i have been recovered for nearly 2 years i guess, but i guess its what you think it is XXX

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Old 17-08-2009, 02:48 PM   #3
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I wish I had a hard-and-fast answer for this, but I don't. Like most things involving mental distress, recovery is a process. I don't think the amount of time a person is SI-free should be used as a criteria, because there's so many feelings and emotions and thoughts behind their physical actions. Even if a person is cut free for years, they still might think about cutting every day, plan their wardrobe and activities to cover up scars, and cutting is still very much a part of that person's life, even if he/she hasn't acted on those thoughts in a long time. To contrast that, someone may not have much time cut-free at all (maybe only a few weeks), but they might live their life in a way where cutting doesn't play much of a role. This person would choose their clothing based on weather and events for the day, rather than actively trying to hide cuts and scars. This person would feel ok in situations where old scars could be seen, and cutting is just not something that crosses their mind frequently. I guess the best analogy would be a "dry drunk" compared to a truly sober person who relapses during difficult times.

For me personally, I'm not sure I'll ever be fully "recovered," in the sense that cutting might always be my first reaction to a stressful or overwhelming situation. Even though I usually don't act on those thoughts, it's still my first reaction. Even when I have episodes where I cut, that's usually my signal that something really isn't right with my life, and I'm not happy. So even if I cut, it's my way of knowing something's wrong- and then I try to fix whatever it is. Cutting isn't the automatic cure-all that it once was for me, and I don't usually act on those impulses. I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where cutting doesn't cross my mind, at least occasionally. But it doesn't interfere with the things I want to do in life, like going to the beach, or dating, or wearing certain clothes.




Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside
"Ups and Downs" ~ Kendall Payne



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Old 17-08-2009, 02:48 PM   #4
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Its something you can't really put a time-frame on. It all depends on the individual and if they feel that they have now recovered.

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Old 17-08-2009, 03:05 PM   #5
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i believe you never recover
the illness is always lurking but you you learn to control it





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Old 17-08-2009, 03:09 PM   #6
Mocha Happiness
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As others have stated, there's no magic number.
People can stop once, and be done with it forever.
People can relapse after going years without it.
I've been SI free for over two years, I don't think I'll ever consider myself "recovered".
There's a quote, which I think is from Degrassi, which is something along the lines of "I may go years without cutting, but I'll always be a cutter."
But it really does depend on the person.

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Old 17-08-2009, 03:52 PM   #7
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My partner is recovered for about 3 years but he said he didn't feel recovered until he no longer saw that as an option which was about 2 years ago. It depends on when you feel recovered, although just as physical scars remain so do the mental reminders so the fully recovering from it I don't know.



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Old 17-08-2009, 06:41 PM   #8
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I agree with Minty. I would say i was recovered when self harm was no longer a option for me. I have been recovered in the past as i didnt even think about self harming as being a coping mechanism anymore. Thats not the case anymore so i now wouldnt class myself as recovered.




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Old 18-08-2009, 01:00 AM   #9
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I think that recovered is when you haven't SIed in a long time, and don't have urges to anymore... also maybe not thinking about it often.




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



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Old 18-08-2009, 01:10 AM   #10
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I don't know where I stand on this. I think it's about an attitude change. I have not harmed myself in 2.5 years and now, even though I still get the occasional urge, it is simply not an option and I won't do it no matter how much I may want to. I suppose I would call myself recovered.

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Old 18-08-2009, 02:19 AM   #11
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i think when you no longer need
when something bad can happen to you and you'll just laugh it off as no big deal or you'll just forget about it or something and even if your mad you won't want to hurt your self anymore

as for me i'm not to that level everytime something happens i just want to make the pain go away

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Old 18-08-2009, 03:52 PM   #12
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I'm not sure when you would become 'recovered'..... Rather than in recovery.....

When I went a while without SH'ing, I couldn't think that I would never hurt myself again because that triggered me beyond belief, however, if I just thought to myself, I won't do it this time - but maybe the next.....

I don't think there is a certain amount of time that means you are recovered, I think there is an idividual time frame for each person. It's thoughts and feelings too; and of course they differ from person to person.....

I don't know when I'l consider myself recovered, and I don't know what I will think and feel when I am at that point; I suppose I just know it isn't now.



-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-



Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Love you Caz, Kel, Roby &&Dasher. xx


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Old 19-08-2009, 02:50 AM   #13
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not to be rude or offensive...but those who never self harmed ..( are purely si free)

but for those who have....i would say if you dont have the thoughts anymore and dont need therapy or meds...i would say the recovery process is completed..



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Old 19-08-2009, 12:55 PM   #14
Alone and Scared
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladysadefairy View Post
not to be rude or offensive...but those who never self harmed ..( are purely si free)
You've confused me. xx



-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-



Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Love you Caz, Kel, Roby &&Dasher. xx


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Old 19-08-2009, 02:46 PM   #15
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^^ A tad confused too, but hey.

And I see recovery, like others, as a time when selfharm is no longer an option. It is when you have other coping methods in place and no longer believe yourself to be useless, and SI is not used to punish yourself- which is the reason I cannot give it up. I think also recovery is when you learn to talk about your emotions and not surpress it until SI is the only option you have.



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Old 20-08-2009, 07:51 PM   #16
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As others said...it's all about the mindset.

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Old 20-08-2009, 09:58 PM   #17
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i being si free for 10 months, some days it dosent cross my mind or times like tonight i'm at my wits end!!
i really dont think these thoughts will ever disappear!
hence, i dont think i will ever truely be recovered!



Vision is the art of seeing things invisible to others

Don't ever stop dreaming your dreams

Your potential is unlimited!

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Old 21-08-2009, 03:08 AM   #18
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Like a lot of people have said it all depends on who you are..I have gone 2 years without cutting myself I guess i consider myself recovered but then again I dont know because I have lots of thoughts about it and I keep saying when I get into collage Im going to have a lot of stress and I might start up again so just because I havent done it for 2 years doesnt mean i will never go back to it... Like someone else said theres a quote on degrassi and its this:"
Ellie: [...] Craig. I used to cut myself.
Craig: I know.
Ellie: And what’s bizarre is that I’m always gonna be a cutter. Even if I don’t do it for years it’s still me.
Craig: Well that sucks.
Ellie: It just, it just is. It doesn’t matter how I feel or how anyone else feels." just like once an addict always an addict no matter how long youve been clean.



&&She already feels invisible soo it wuoldnt be hard for her to disappear...
It's a ****ed up fairy Tale...&&She's Living It
&&She's been pretending everythings okay like it's her job...And she wants to quit that job and get anew one.
&&She hopes that all the **** she's been through will be worth it in the end
&&shes had her heart ****ed with way to many times.
&&She always has that smile on her face...you know the one that hides all the pain but nobody can tell.



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