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If two children were in a classroom, and one child asks another to stroke
him.....and she does, not knowing it's wrong, would that be considered child
abuse?
It's ok to do whatever you can to keep from hurting yourself.
To Twisted Reality: If the other child wasn't bothered by it, and was quite young (elementary school) then it probably wasn't abuse. It doesn't sound like he forced it. They would probably just go under exploration or curiosity. But if it bothers you then you should process it with someone.
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
My friend, her older brother and myself used to play a game, a card game where depending on what card was turned over we would do different things to each other. I think for them it was curiosity but I didn't really want to play. I feel a little like I was abused but I can't see him as an abuser, I don't feel like there was any malice in his actions. I should have been strong enough to say no or ask not to play.
When I was little the neighbor girl whom I don't remember how much older than me she was. I was six, and blocked this from my mind until I started having horrible flash backs about it. Told me to let her touch me, and I had to let her do other things because she wanted to f*** me, and If I didn't she'd hurt me and my family.
There's a ton more to this story I don't want to really share, but I saw her a few years back, and she tried to add me on facebook sending me into terrible flashbacks, and panic attacks. It's really upseting because no one ever believed me until this last year (i'm almost 18 years old now) many tried to say that's the reason i'm bi-sexual because I secretly liked it. That's one comment that seriously makes me want to punch people in the face.
I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name...
Sometimes I come across threads on here that I think we're added just for me (which I know of course they weren't....but it feels like that because they are so relevant to me). In my case, I was teased, tormented &bullied by 2 of my brothers, this went on throughout my childhood until my brothers left home in their late teens. They just about never left me alone. Strangely i recall hardly any specific incidents really but 1 of my abusive brothers (who has now apologised) tells me to trust my memories and that it did happen.
And so to the point of my post. When I was around 5 or perhaps a year or 2 older (I really can't remember specifically although I wish I could) one of my abusers (who is now dead) did molest me. As I recall,it was always after bath-time when we were alone in our lounge. I was on the settee. In exchange for being given a foot rub, I "let" him do it. At first because i got something out of it, it seemed ok. but as it 'progressed' he didnt reciprocate. What he did started to hurt so I put an end to it. I don't know how I achieved that as I was scared of him. My counsellor said to me recently "I'm really impressed u got him to stop, how did u get him to stop". I can't remember was my reply, I don't know.
I can still recal what it felt like. I've never told my family what happened. There'd hav been no point since my parents ignored the bullying. I still hav self-esteem problems but am releasing finally the dark feelings & shame I have always felt. I always seem to play down what happened. Even my counsellor made that point to me. It's only since I joined this site that finally I'm coming to terms with what happened as it has made me see that I was abused.
The bit I struggle with is that I can't remember how many times this thing happened with my brother & I just wish I could. Because if it happened often enough I guess that would make it abuse, whereas just a few times doesn't really add up to anything (or so my mind keeps telling me)
Last edited by Tessar : 05-01-2013 at 08:39 PM.
Reason: Words added
