I Told My Mam... *Not Sure For Triggers*

Iclemyer · 08-11-2009, 02:09 AM

I told her today while my dad was out. I just wrote a small letter and left it on the dining room table. Once I wrote it I just wanted her to read it but I didn't have the courage to hand it to her. She asked why hadn't I told her sooner. Then she said she couldn't believe that she didn't know/realise and that she can't believe she trusted my Dad. She hasn't said anything about it to my dad yet she said she's going to confront him when I'm not around. I'm scared so scared its going to get so much more messy before it gets better and I thought I should feel better but I don't I still want to hurt myself I still have the same feelings as before feeling panicky and things like that, perhaps I expected to much from telling my mam I don't know.

shadow-light · 08-11-2009, 02:13 AM

well done :D seriously!!!!!

You're right the net few weeks/months with probably be messy... but in the long run what you;ve done is defantly for the best :D

troubleshooter · 08-11-2009, 03:00 AM

You're totally getting the crown for 2 weeks!!!! *hugs tight* I'm SO proud of you and that's fantastic your mom was understanding and is going to confront him and try to protect you. You deserve this honey. I hope it goes ok.

08-11-2009, 03:54 AM

*hugs* i'm so glad you were able to tell her. you're right, it may get messy. but you deserve to be stood up for. it's for the best, though i know it must not feel that way. hang in there.

Iclemyer · 08-11-2009, 08:53 AM

thanks everyone for your replies :)

Diamonds. · 08-11-2009, 11:40 AM

Well done! Im so proud of you.
Let me know how everything goes.
We are all here for you.
x

crazykat · 08-11-2009, 11:50 AM

Well done, we are all here for you *hugs*

Iclemyer · 08-11-2009, 12:25 PM

i feel guilty now for telling mam, she said shes been up all night worrying about what to do and what will happen when she tells my dad and wht if he turns violent (which he is likely to do). she said she feels lonely because she has no one except me to talk to about it... i knew it would get worse but i thought telling mam was a good thing, the right thing even. the worst part is she wants me to try to act "normal" until she confronts dad.

ghosts in the machine · 08-11-2009, 02:16 PM

Your dad should feel guilty as he is the cause of all this. But equally your mum is going to have all sorts of emotions about this.

I don't know what you and she will plan to do after confronting your dad, but there are several charities that provide support not only for the people who got hurt, but for their families too as it will have an effect on them. Mind in a pretty good charity to take a look at if you want to. Her emotional state is not your responsibility.

Emo · 08-11-2009, 03:51 PM

Well done for telling her

troubleshooter · 08-11-2009, 11:13 PM

Maybe you and your mom can have counseling together. *hugs* Don't feel bad honey, this isn't your fault it was all caused by your dad.

bobbiwibble · 08-11-2009, 11:26 PM

*huggles*
that was so incredibly brave! i'm so proud of you :) you definitely did the right thing xxx

09-11-2009, 02:22 AM

*hugs* that has to be really hard. but it's not your fault in any way. you did the right thing. if he gets violent the two of you could go to a shelter. maybe she could confront him in a semi-public place so if he gets violent there will be people there to help.

crazykat · 09-11-2009, 11:02 AM

Hun
Its completely understandable the way your mum feels, she will be going through alot of emotions like you. However having said that none of this is your fault so please don't feel bad for telling your mum you did the right thing sweetheart. You can and will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx

Iclemyer · 10-11-2009, 11:57 AM

mam said shes just going to confront him outright. i dont know when shes planning it for all i know is things are going to change and whichever way it happens people are going to get hurt and its going to take a long long time for anything to be ok again

stargazer_x · 10-11-2009, 07:55 PM

*hugs!*

I'm so proud of you for telling your mum! xxx

lovelybones · 11-11-2009, 04:34 AM

proud of you, dear. let us know what happens.

Iclemyer · 11-11-2009, 08:31 PM

mam wants to wait till after christmas to tell my dad, part of me thinks she doesnt want to tell him at all because she keeps saying about all the things that we'll have to sort out when dads not around anymore and then she was saying about the way this has effected her and stuff and i just dont know how much more i can take. mam's said that either way dads not going to be living with us once she's told him but i cant keep waiting like this i mean i just want to have my life back is that too much to ask for

sorry rant over :S

Zedebee · 11-11-2009, 08:42 PM

*hugs*
A big well done for telling her.

I know things seem hard right now but you've got to hold on for a while longer.

eudcw · 11-11-2009, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infinitum_Nihil

mam wants to wait till after christmas to tell my dad, part of me thinks she doesnt want to tell him at all because she keeps saying about all the things that we'll have to sort out when dads not around anymore and then she was saying about the way this has effected her and stuff and i just dont know how much more i can take. mam's said that either way dads not going to be living with us once she's told him but i cant keep waiting like this i mean i just want to have my life back is that too much to ask for

sorry rant over :S

First of all, it's not a rant!

Secondly, your mum is going to struggle to come to terms with this and it will be difficult (there is always a selfish part of anyone questioning how it will affect them) - but hang on in there! Remember - you have done nothing wrong!!!!

When I was abused physically by my step dad I moved out and eventually my mum did confront him (although I know that physical abuse is different, I've been through both).