Contains abuse - My abuse ex still haunting me
Hello. Basically about 6 months ago I broke up with my abusive partner. We were together for three years. I am still so suprised at how what he did to me still effects me. He never hit me, although he did more or less threaten on a couple of occasions (He said things like 'if you really piss me off I wont be able to stop myself' and even raising his hand to me a few times) but he was very controlling. Everything had to be done HIS way or it was the wrong way. If I had a different opinion on something than him I was wrong. It was even what I'd consider petty things like when we moved in together he picked where all the furniture went. I ended up picking where one thing went but only after I basically spoke up about it (in other words an argument happened)
So six months ago I finally managed to leave him. And somehow he is still managing to mess up my life. I moved out, and some of my stuff is still at his (He's being very difficult about me getting the stuff back) so I currently have to stay in touch with him. On a regular basis he will have a go at me over messanger for whatever he pleases at the time. I try to defend myself but I tend to end up in pieces over it either way. And even now I keep expecting people to react to things the same way he would. I keep expecting people to get really angry over something small. I still feel like I have to defend myself when I want to go out.
And now I have found out that he gave me an STD. He manipulated me into having sex with him even though he knew he had an STD (I was on the pill) So now I'm trying to get on with my life, and I feel like I still can't because of him. I have a friend who we've been flirting on and off for a very long time, (I'm not currently interested in a relationship and neither is he, but we are both interested in a friends with benefits relationship) and I cannot pursue it because of this. I'm getting the STD treated but it's currently unsure when it will be gone.
I guess I am currently really depressed and really angry and I do not know how to deal with this right now. I have supportive friends, but aside from ranting to them about things I really don't know how to deal.
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