On Sunday I visited my friend who was bartending a block from where I live. His roommate ended up being there, so I hung out with him like I have done in the past. The roommate has never expressed interest in me, but that night he kept going on about how pretty he thought I was and stuff, which I thought was a little odd. He also insisted on walking me home, though that doesn't make much sense to me considering I live so close. Well, we get to my place and I assume he's just going to crash on my couch. No big deal - I've done this with other friends. However, when I went to my room to get him a blanket, he kept insisting that he wanted to sleep in my bed with me. I told him that I don't sleep well when other people are in my bed - which is true - but he kept saying it's not a big deal we don't have to do anything. At this point it was really late and I was extremely tired, so I said fine and let him, but I vocalized to him (very bluntly) that I wasn't going to (and didn't want to) sleep with him.
We started kissing and then things escalated...It all just sort of happened, and I remember just going along with it but not wanting to. At the time, I didn't say anything.....I wanted to tell him to leave, but I was embarassed and didn't want to offend him, as weird as that sounds.
I couldn't sleep at all after that, so I came out to my couch and attempted to get a few hours of sleep before work...He ended up leaving around 6 am or so, and I pretended to be asleep when he left.
I'm just confused because I'm not sure if this is assault or if I'm just upset this happened between us. I was assaulted a year ago by an acquaintence, and it was really similar to this, but I told the man (3x) that I didn't want to have sex with him before it happened....
Part of me is paranoid and wonders if he kind of lead me into this. I feel like I did something wrong, shouldn't have drank so much, etc.
Sorry, I am really down and confused right now. Can I get some hugs or advice?
