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Old 19-08-2007, 12:10 AM   #41
Mimsy
 
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I dunno... I only know one friend who did it. Thats it. We were incredibly close- we just understood each other. But all my other friends dont. But that doesnt mean they dont understand, it just means it takes them longer.

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Old 19-08-2007, 11:16 PM   #42
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Me and my friends met a guy a couple of years ago, and a few months after he mentioned about SI-ing, I talked to him online about it, and he seemed genuine about it, considering how quickly he'd told us, and then I told him about myself. It was a real reliefe for me too.

Since we've gotten really really close. Like if either of us is feeling particularly sh_te, the other will talk to them and try to distract them. He pretty much counselled me to my first attempt at trying to stop.

There are those people though, that you tell, and trust, and then a little while later, will 'accidentaly' let a friend see a couple of scratches on their arm and put on that ohh so annoying brave (or alternativeley pained) face - Yet never do they seem at all ashamed about that kind of subject, or talking loudly about how much they hate themself, how hard it is, and how much they hurt. Or maybe 'let it slip' it rather unsubtly. Sure you might have low self-esteem, and want attention, but the way some people do it can really feel insulting.

When people like that talk about it, they might 'nevousley' laugh about it, or whatever, list the things they've tried to SH them self with ect ect, in a way that makes me want to scream. Thankfully I've only ever met a couple.

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Old 20-08-2007, 12:50 AM   #43
risenfromperdition
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yeh, about 5 of my friends cut also- including my 2 roommates at a mission conference last year... AND my roommate this year (freakish much O.o) and a couple people in my youthgroup. i only found out a)because we were talking about sin and they started saying they used to and i went 'yeah me too' and my other friend i was in church and rents had found out night before, i felt something calling me to talk to her, and at the end of my monologue she was staring at me and went 'wait, seriously? i did/do too'

O.o



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 20-08-2007, 01:17 AM   #44
Doesnt_matter
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Most of my friends have mental problems (depression, OCD, social phobia, boderline personality disorder,...).
Moreover one of my friends SIs herself and three more of my friends four of my friends used to hurt themselves (one of them for a long time and severly) and two of them had eating disorders, too.

I am quite open about my problems and because of that my friends trust me and started to tell me that they can relate with what I say because they had their own experiences with SI and other things like that.

I don´t know whether I should find it good or bad because on the one hand they understand more or less when I speak about my depression and my SI but on the other hand sometimes we affect each other´s mood in a negative way.
Sometimes I even make a joke that one day I will move with all my friends into a psychiatry but well, it makes me sad and afraid that I always have to worry for my friends and they always worry because of my mental state.


Last edited by Doesnt_matter : 20-08-2007 at 01:20 AM. Reason: wanted to add something


I can't control my destiny.
I trust my soul. My only goal is just to be.
(Rent)

I'm selfish, inpatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. (Marilyn Monroe)


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Old 20-08-2007, 04:58 AM   #45
hakoba
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It always feels like very few until I sit down and really think about it. Two of my greatest friends in the world have experience with it. The first one was someone I was close to off and on since middle school. When we were in our first year of high school, I started and she noticed my cuts and was the only person to ever point them out (of course I gave the cat excuse). She struggled a lot too but for some reason I never thought about it in her case, until a year later when were on a school trip. Everyone was standing around, waiting for an elevator. She was wearing sandals, and it was then that I noticed that she had some very thick scars on her ankles. That night we talked until the sun rose (bad for walking around constantly the next day) and eventually we both admitted to each other what was going on. She has since stopped and unfortunately now is hurting her body in other ways, but every now and then when we sit down for a chat she'll ask me about it, and I'm so thankful to have her.

My other good friend was like the first, in that we weren't very close at all until my third year of high school. We were sitting in Chemistry doing an assignment, when I noticed that beneath some of her bracelets were cuts. Later I asked her quietly about them, and now we're really good friends.

As for the other people who didn't have much of an impact:

-A girl with cuts on her ankles that I saw in band 2 years ago. It was so obviously showing that it had to be an attention thing, aside from the fact that other facets of her personality give that away.
-My former best friend did it a very small amount long ago. She told me this, and ironically, one of the factors complicating the end of our relationship was the fact that I told her I did it and needed help. She did nothing, unless you count slowly abandoning me without a single word to hang out with drunks and potheads who only wanted her for sex
-Before we broke up, my ex told me that he had started cutting. He actually used it as an attention thing. He could have been lying though, because he said it was on his arms and I never saw a thing (I always try to find other SIers too), even now there are no scars.

I agree that SI isn't talked about as often as other psychological/social things in the US. When you hear about problems in teenagers, it's always ED, substance abuse, steroids, sometimes gambling. Never SI. That really bothers me.

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Old 20-08-2007, 05:00 PM   #46
sazybel
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well five of my ex friends have cut themselves a couple of times 1 sort of reguarly another i think was doing it for attention then i there are 3 others i know about in my year and one of my friends had an ED.
i think the whole magnet thing does seem to happen

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Old 20-08-2007, 05:41 PM   #47
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Another friend I found out about had a bandage around one of her wrist and when I asked why (she knows I SI), she just said "I cut myself but I didn't want to mention it to you becuase I know it's a sensetive subject for you."
What she said kind of upset me though, especially because it's not what I'd call a sensetive subject...



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Old 21-08-2007, 02:41 AM   #48
I must be dreaming
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I've never met another SIer..it often makes me feel like a freak..and really alone..all of yall that have actually met peoples that si..I'm not gonna lie..I'm a little jealous..



I have no control
Will someone save me?

If you love me, then let go of me.
I won't be held down by who I used to be.
She's nothing to me. ~ Evanescence



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Old 21-08-2007, 09:55 AM   #49
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There's probably a few people who do SI that you know, but as most people keep it secret you just never reallt found out. I can understand why you feel a little jealous, but you're not alone, you always have everyone here too.

Most people who I found out SIed either knew about me, saw some scars and asked me about it before telling me about their SI, or we had an odd conversation about coping with stress and guessed that each other SIed.



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Old 21-08-2007, 02:19 PM   #50
sapphire hearts
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I've found that people who begin to SI come to me, wanting to talk about it. when I was younger, thanks to a friend, also a cutter, who blurted out her secret and mine in front of my class, so pretty much everyone in my year knows. I've had people come up to me about SI that I never would have expected, people I barely know, just because they feel I understand.
Also, most of my friends have or do SI. I think that we are more drawn to people with similar problems, even subconsciously, because we find them easier to be around, we feel like they understand how we feel more than (for lack of a better word) 'regular' people do. (Non-Self-Injurers would be more appropriate.)
x



Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life

Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -

Ask me what difference
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Old 21-08-2007, 02:40 PM   #51
.ghost.
 
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I agree with the bit about people with similar problems being subconciously drawn to each other, I've seen it happen a fair few times and always wondered whether anyone else thought that too.



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Old 22-08-2007, 07:32 PM   #52
I must be dreaming
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I guess..I mean..the thing is..that most of my friends know about my SI...and I know none of them struggle with it. Then again..there are some that I am not that close to..and they don't know..but then..I have very obvious scars on my arm that I have given up trying to hide..and I'm just like..I know people see it..and most just like..freak out..I donno..I'm just rambling..



I have no control
Will someone save me?

If you love me, then let go of me.
I won't be held down by who I used to be.
She's nothing to me. ~ Evanescence



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Old 25-08-2007, 03:35 AM   #53
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My best friend used to cut.
Another friend had/has an ED. But we don't talk bout it. She was the type to encourage it..
Apart from that, there are these guys that sit with us now, and keep talking bout how they cut themselves. One keeps complaining he hasn't got scars (prick) and one just cut f*** into the back of his fingers. It makes me feel weird hearing people 'brag' about it like that when I try and hide my scars and everything.

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Old 25-08-2007, 08:27 PM   #54
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It seems like every 'good' 'close' friend i've had has shared one major link with me. . . self-harm. In fact in most cases, that was what brought us together in the first place.

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Old 26-08-2007, 04:33 AM   #55
Comely
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It's common,so I've been told, that SI-ers are actually very intelligent,well-spoken people,as a whole. They are eloquent, and very deep. I'd imagine these types of people would be drawn to one another. i'vev had similar things happen with me.But,I'm selective with who I tell, and I only tell the people who I know won't freak out. 4 out of 4 people who know about my SI-ing also SI-ed, or do SI currently. 1 friend,I knew she did for a long time. The others, I had ideas. 1 friend,I would never have though it.one never knows.




"You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself,hoping no one would find you.But THEY found you,and they took you,and you somehow survived."


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Old 26-08-2007, 01:53 PM   #56
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Other than the friends I've met on here, I don't know anyone else who self harms. If any of my school mates self harmed, I never knew... the same way they never knew about me.

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