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Old 28-09-2020, 10:42 PM   #1
Koala hugs
Join Date: Aug 2019
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i don't know what to title this trigger warning self harm

I have a great friend who is like a mum to me she has hrlped me thru so much and always been there for me dealt with all my baf behaviour in the past stuck by me been my greatest support anf had stuck by me thru thick n thin shes dressed my self injury wounds and i trust her to confide in and when i stopped self harm or tryed to very hard i gave her all my tools voluntarily for her to dispose of . She has been amazing support n done nothing but love me n treat me like her own. But i have hidden tools from her recently tools ehich can only b used for self harming and i dont know quite what to do next its comforting having them but also scary i shud get rid of them but lifr is difficult right now and im clinging on to them ive not used them shes coming round tomorrow i dont know whether to say anything or not i am confident i wont lose her but worried i will hurt her emotionally

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Old 28-09-2020, 10:47 PM   #2
Koala hugs
Join Date: Aug 2019
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Also i dont know what i wud do without them other than text her every time i feel like hurting myself ehich i do anyeay and she helps me deal with my feelings i just feel luke im at a crossroads and that to quote a song im stranded between relapse and recovery . Im not sure what i hope to gain from writing this but i had to let it out part of me is screaming at myself insde but if i get rid of current tools im worried that i will buy more buy clean new ones if i did that it wud b easier to give in to the urges (im needle phobic and wud need a tetanus if i used the current tools) weird thing is i havent used them ive had them at home hidden for a week n not used them

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