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Old 01-11-2017, 02:39 PM   #1
Amaryllis
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Weight loss and seeing a doctor

In the past ten months I have lost a rather worrying amoubt of weight. None of my clothes fit anymore, not even my underwear or slip on shoes. Im still in the overweight category of the bmi scale though so dont worry.

I am seeing a doctor about this soon though because this cant continue forever. I am worried they will not take me seriously because I am still fat and if you are fat "any weight loss is good weight loss".

What can I do or ask the doctor to look for to help me get help? I have eating problems but this isn't because of them.



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Old 02-11-2017, 03:20 AM   #2
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I think sometimes being specific can help, if you can. Like, give them the numbers, tell what a typical day of eating is like, in detail. Explain why it is concerning to you and maybe what you'd like them to help you with? Like do you just want a general checkup, are you concerned something medical is going on, do you want a referral to a dietician? I think it's worrying that you've lost that much weight so I hope you can get whatever support it is you need.



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Old 03-11-2017, 03:34 AM   #3
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I am concerned that something medical is going on. I'm not making an effort to lose weight and it's just coming off. I know I have a history of disordered eating problems, but this isn't that.

Maybe not really a food log, because that tends to trigger me if I keep it long enough, but a log with food and symptoms.



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Old 07-11-2017, 04:30 AM   #4
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While I hope your concerns don't confirm to be true, they are absolutely valid regardless of what your current weight is. Unexpected, major weight loss is not something to ignore, regardless of whether you're overweight or not and any competent doctor would be concerned and look for a cause. While it might be something relatively harmless, it's always best to double-check.

If you are worried that a food log would trigger you, I honestly wouldn't suggest it. When you've already lost so much weight, struggling with eating can get you really unwell, so please take care. I think giving your GP a general idea of your eating habits and explaining they haven't changed much lately should be enough.

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Old 07-11-2017, 03:48 PM   #5
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A log with food and symptoms sounds good if it wouldn't be too triggering. I think if you explain to the dr as you just posted here to us that would be fine, it's clear, specific, and succinct.

You could also just jot down on a piece of paper your last couple of days food wise when you get to your appointment, hand it to them, and not think about it or do it again after that. (Again unless that would be triggering you know yourself best) I know my old dr used to know that logs were triggering so she would even just have me do that verbally so I did not have to track it long term.



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Old 08-11-2017, 06:32 PM   #6
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So I went to the doctor who totally brushed off me and my symptoms with "well you could lose a bit more weight" and "I dont think this is accurate" with regard to my food log.

Honestly, this is the second doctor about this issue. At least the first one ran my thyroid levels. Part of me is afraid of them waiting until its too late to try to stop it and part of me is like 'guess I will speed this up for a solution'

They wont take me seriously because Im still overweight (but not by much) I guess I will stop fighting and let normal weight fly right by.



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Old 11-11-2017, 08:26 PM   #7
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I’m so sorry you were brushed off like that, it’s absolutely ridiculous and if there’s some sort of complaint system available and you feel able, I think it would be a good idea to complain.

I know it’s so so hard when you’ve been treated so badly, but if you can manage it, making an appointment with a different doctor would be a good idea. I hope that you know that you’re right to want this investigated and I really hope you can get some proper tests and investigations carried out soon.



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Old 22-11-2017, 03:43 AM   #8
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I would bother, but this is literally the third doctor I've seen about it. So... guess I'll just die then?

Plus, I weighed myself this morning and I've lost more weight. I have eaten so much ice cream.

(I am also afraid of being thin because of sexual assault stuff and I stopped being hurt shortly after I gained a lot of weight. Coincidental, but there you go.)



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Old 23-11-2017, 08:14 PM   #9
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It's ridiculously frustrating and I completely understand that you're now really distrustful of medical professionals you see about this, but I think from the "so guess I'll just die" comment, at least a part of you knows that you're right to keep pursuing this.

(I'm glad that you know it's coincidental, but it must still feel scary. *sits with* You are safe and being at a lower weight doesn't mean that anyone is going to hurt you.)



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Old 30-11-2017, 12:13 AM   #10
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I know that my weight does not change how likely it is that I will be hurt and that since I can move easier (I have also been going to the gym for years and it is... not really related to the weightloss) and learning how to move that I will likely be able to escape easier, I am still afraid.

My dad was very good at teaching me that if I looked nice, it was my duty to ugly myself up enough to make myself unappealing, but it was also my duty to look nice and pleasant as I had no value if I wasn't pretty. It is a bit screwed up and impossible.

And I have so many feelings about this.



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Old 01-12-2017, 10:47 AM   #11
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I understand being afraid, also it's good that you can rationalize that it has nothing to do with weight.


I'm sorry to say that, but your dad doesn't sound like a good person that had your best interests in mind. I had family members that kept teaching me mutually exclusive things too. As I got older, I realized that their demands only have one purpose - to make it seem like I'm always wrong, always the guilty one, no matter what I do. I think it was the same with your dad. He just wanted you to always feel like he's right and you're wrong, because that gave him power. And that's messed up. He is just a messed up person. If following his advice isn't possible, it doesn't matter.


But I understand feeling strongly about the whole thing. Do have someone you could talk about all of this IRL?

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Old 02-12-2017, 07:27 PM   #12
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*hugs if wanted*

It's understandable to have a lot of feelings about this. Your dad's teaching was entirely screwed-up and it's OK to be confused, hurt, angry, anything about that. But I promise you he was wrong and you have great value and worth for who you are as a person, but I don't mean 'value' in the same way that your dad meant though.



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Old 15-02-2018, 10:23 PM   #13
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I'm still losing weight. I'm so tired. I feel like I look worse now than I did before almost.

I saw my dad a month ago and he said that I look very attractive now. I wish I would disappear.



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Old 17-02-2018, 04:56 PM   #14
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I'm sorry to hear that :( I can imagine that your dad saying that would have been very uncomfortable to say the least.

I know you've had such crappy experiences with doctors recently, but would you be willing to try seeing one again about this?



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Old 19-02-2018, 03:56 PM   #15
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I went to my new doctor friday for a maybe unrelated issue and they weighed me. I asked about the weight loss issue but she didn't seem concerned about it, nor was she concerned about why I was in to start with. I think she thinks all I need is behavioral health.

I doubt she's going to listen.

I do have another appointment with her for a physical in about a month and I'm not going to do anything to keep the weight on so she can see some evidence of the weight loss.



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Old 19-02-2018, 04:10 PM   #16
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You don't deserve this. You really deserve proper medical care, and I am so so sorry you are not getting it and not getting heard.

I can only imagine how much harder the comments from your dad must make things.

I wish I had suggestions.

Is seeing a behavioral health person an option so they can maybe explain and advocate to a medical doctor on your behalf that this is obviously not a mental health issue? I know that sucks to jump through their hoops, but it might be worth it? I don't know your situation right now though in terms of access to care, cost, or even willingness. So it might not be possible.

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Old 19-02-2018, 11:18 PM   #17
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I am going to try to get into behavioral health. I have a plan to call tomorrow. I doubt that I will be able to get in before my physical but I will still go.



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Old 19-02-2018, 11:52 PM   #18
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Hey Ama, sorry I have no advice but I had a similar problem years ago. I lost a lot of weight in very little time and went to my dr to see about maybe checking my bloods in case I’d done any damage. The dr didn’t listen and actually told me I needed to lose more weight so I can completely understand being invalidated and not listened to. *Squish*

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Old 26-02-2018, 05:49 PM   #19
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So I did call the behavioral health people and I have a video appointment (and it's before my physical).

My weight loss has slowed a bunch and I'm not losing a lot, but I still got very upset when I tried on the next size down and it fits. It's not tight or anything. I am really afraid but at the same time, what can I do? No one is listening and I can't stop it, just slow it. I'm scared that eventually it's going to be too late and they'll just say I'm anorexic. (I'm not but I do have a history of eating struggles. not enough even for EDNOS, but still. fortunately, that's off the medical record.)



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Old 26-02-2018, 07:14 PM   #20
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I'm glad you were able to get an appointment before the next physical. I wish I knew what to say other than I hope that they will listen to you and help advocate for you. I know that can't have been easy, so I think it's huge that you did that. Do you know what you might like to say to them or communicate to them?

Thinking of you.



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