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Old 10-08-2013, 10:11 AM   #1
.x.Kaz.x.
 
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I can't stop

I can't stop. My hand is swollen & purple. It's not good enough. It needs to break. I can't stop. I won't stop until it breaks. I need to do this. I need an excuse. How do I tell them? How do I explain the bruises? Oh but i can't stop. Anything in sight I can use right now. It needs to break. I need to hear it crack. It's halfway there. Fuck.. I won't stop... I can't...




'I do believe in fairies'


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Old 10-08-2013, 11:37 AM   #2
Paw Print
 
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Take a breath. Do you have anyone to call right now? Do you know what triggered you?

Can you do anything else that will distract or keep you busy?





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Old 10-08-2013, 08:49 PM   #3
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Im sorry you are struggling so much right now.

Breaking your hand will only make things a hell of a lot worse for you. it is dangerous aswell. why do you feel the need to break your hand? if somethign is triggering you ten its best to try and distract yourself from these thoughts, or even relax yourself by taking a hot bath etc.

I hope you get the help that you need x

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Old 10-08-2013, 11:10 PM   #4
.x.Kaz.x.
 
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I don't know what triggered me :/ it's my way of self harming right now. I know I'm going to regret this in a few days time. I just couldn't stop :( thanks for the replies. I am now safe for weekend. Just don't know what will happen next...




'I do believe in fairies'


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Old 11-08-2013, 12:23 AM   #5
FranticMind
 
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its good that your safe for the weekend. do you have a MH professional who you could talk to in real life?

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Old 11-08-2013, 09:41 AM   #6
.x.Kaz.x.
 
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No I was discharged from all services (adolescent at the time) 4 years ago.. And told i was fine & just going through a phase haha. We don't have much support in the area. If I build up enough courage today I may get my hand looked at.. Just need to think of some excuses now :(




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Old 11-08-2013, 11:19 AM   #7
yoyogirl
 
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Maybe you need to get an urgent referral back to mental health team



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 13-08-2013, 08:41 PM   #8
Cacoethes
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hey lovely. how are you feeling today?

I can relate to self harm 'not being enough'. but will it ever be enough? I have broken bones before and I still thought that it should have been worse. With slef harm, it's never good enough. It's an unachievable goal, it will always have to be 'worse' no matter what you do.

Could you go to your doctor and tell them how you are feeling?



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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