Oh Helen :( Please don't give up sweetheart, I am glad they want to keep an eye on you even though it must be daunting they are clearly concerned. Your body and mind are suffering so much, you really deserve so much better than what you're going through now. You will get through this and we are by your side every step of the way; please don't give up.
with how sick you describe you are, im surprised you're not in hospital already
Thats not a very fair and supportive comment to Helen.
There are A LOT of sick unwell people out there with eating disorders at the moment, myself included, I am very unwell with my anorexia, and I am not in hospital yet, although I have been threatend with MHA if I dont accept a bed.
But anyway.
Hel sweetie,
Please dont give up now. You are worth so so much more than your bulimia!
I dont know whether this will mean much but just think of all the good times we had together, blowing chewing gum bubbles, painting our nails red to match MKA, crying together, talking about our bulimic hamsters, the post we got on valentines day together!
Trust me I do still really care about you A LOT! And I would hate to see anything happen to you. I would be devastated.
and all the good times youve had with other people!! Im sure there are a lot of those too.
You are stronger than your bulimia. I know you are. and I know you can beat this.
yeah, I agree with this. i've known of people with BMIs only just in double digits who haven't been in hospital, IT HAPPENS believe it or not but it happens (although its rare), and people who've been purging almost constantly. people die on waiting lists, cmhts often don't know what to do and will just leave people, people make mistakes etc.
i've known people whose bmis have been below the sectionable cut off (the generally accepted one) for months, even up to a year, people don't act, it shouldn't be like this but it depends on whose care you're under, GP (some GPs are clueless), even psychiatrists make those kind of errors in judgement.
it just depends on the area and team - some areas are very good and proactive, and some just leave people... it could be argued you have to want to accept help, but with eating disorders i think that's a bit of a grey area unfortunately.
helen could be severely ill (i don't know helen but from what i do remember from this board, she has a severe eating disorder) and still be in the community. i don't think the mental health act has ever been successfully used with bulimia, i don't think there's any legal precendent (no one has ever been sectioned for bulimia), although i may be wrong there, but i think i'm right. also, i think she mentioned she was in wales, which i doubt has the best treatment in the world... does it have an nhs IP unit? i'm not sure but i'm guessing its contracted out which would mean access to beds would be even worse than in most places.
i'm not bulimic, but from what i know bulimia can be equally dangerous as anorexia, but there's probably less action taken unfortunately because if someone is rapidly dropping weight each week (anorexia) then its probably more difficult to ignore, whereas i guess they dont see the purging, the bingeing, the hell going on at home. that's not fair, but i reckon it's how it is.
i didn't mean to go off on a rant, it's just i've seen good friends, some with anorexia, some with bulimia, just being left to rot really, even when some of them have fought for help, so i think it's a big misperception that everyone who is unwell is automatically in hospital. even if helen became severely medically compromised, yeah she might go into a general hospital, but they usually turf you out after a few days when issues are resolved.
helen, like i said i don't know you but i'm sure your GP would very much want you to be honest with her and she'd appreciate that, so i hope you're able to be honest in the future. i spent a lot of time not being honest with health professionals, i sort of justified it to myself that it was part of the disorder, but in the end it made them respect me less and i wish i'd been honest from the start. yeah, eating disorders can make you lie but they don't have to, you probably haven't got much to lose by being honest. there's no point not being honest really as it only backfires on you.
Fragile - i can understand what your saying in a sense that its just really sad that Helens not already in hospital and you wouldnt think this kind of thing would happen in 2011 where people are left to struggle so much even when they are really really ill.i think thats hard for all of us to watch and understand.
But it clearly is happening.And sadly does happen.There are a lot of people out there right now with a variety of illnesses or disorders or types of distress who are very very unwell but hospital is not the systems answer anymore even when sometimes it desperately desperately needs to be.
Sorry that was off track but i wanted to say i understand your thought processes Fragile - anyone would be shocked by this but i dont think its clear cut nowadays that when someone is as ill as Hel or some other people on here that they will automatically be admitted to the hospital or even admitted eventually at all.i dont think it necessarily works like that anymore including from my own experience [but not with eating disorders].
But anyhow Hel how are you feeling today?Sending you lots of love, support and hugs.
Please dont give up.Your a very valuable person [and [from my selfish point of view] a great friend too.
Please keep posting and talking sweetheart.Know we are here for you and care.Please be honest with your CPN Friday or ideally try and talk to someone even sooner about how things are cos you really need to.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Helen, you have been here several times before. Your GP is most likely unsure of how to treat you because there is nothing new for them to try. You know what you need to do, and if you don't you know what will happen. But you need to want it, you have been IP before and didn't take proper advantage of it. With limited funding (and a lot of people wanting it) there is only so many options available and really only so many chances.
i do agree that you have to want to get better.Its not your fault if you dont though but i can see where your coming from.Wanting to get better is something im working on at the moment and i tell you what wanting that is proving to be darn hard work for me though i think i want to more than i did but i still have a long way to go.But once you start making changes it does get easier.i think.At least a bit even if i still am often fighting myself constantly.And losing.
As you know im not the best example for you of how to go about doing things but i am learning that only i can change things even if i dont always like that reality very much.But i know you know this already deep down.
Your just being suffocated by your illness and you need help.Your just so ill right now i dont believe you can see any positive.
Also when you come back to this thread im worried some of the replies are gonna really upset you.That concerns me.i know how ill you are.i think many on this thread like me though are just really concerned for you right now even those who might be apppearing to give you tough love.
We dont want to lose you.Everybody is very worried.
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Be honest on how you're feeling, and how you are.
I know it's hard.. recovery is always hard. Admitting to yourself that you're ill and needing help is hard. Really it's only the way you're going to be able to get better. Accept the help if it's offered.
You can fight this 'sh**'.
Sorry for crappy post. :) x
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
They wanted to know how I am, I reckon my CPN spoke to them,, I saw on the computer screen in my last OT session my 'Relapse Plan'. Gah.
I'm terrified, I have a weigh in on Friday & I'm in so much pain, I took far too many laxatives, again...When will I learn?! Eugh
Part of me wants to go back, just for a break from this hell.
I agree with Sammi, love you deserve the break from this, the chance to refocus about what you really want from your life. Maybe now is the time, while they're contacting you, to be honest about your struggling and pain and ask to be readmitted.
Please consider it Helen, cause you need a break from this and you deserve it, your body needs a break too.
Helen, be honest & tell them whats going on.
If you get re-admitted it can be a chance for you to evaluate what you want & what you need. Sometimes, being forced to do something is the biggest eye opener because your confronted with everything your scared about. x
Helen you do need to go to IP you're FAR too thin!
and I agree with everyone else here.
I understand that you may not want to "let go" of the ED
but it is KILLING YOU
-hugs-
you know where I am if you need me dearest. xx <3
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
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Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
Please use the letter from the hospital as an opportunity to try and be as honest as possible.i know its hard and your illness leads you astray but it really could make the difference between life and death now without exaggeration.
i agree with you.You desperately need at the very least a break.Please try and find a way to discuss this with your team.
We cant lose you.No.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
There is a parallel thread running by yours in support of Sammi. You are very supportive of her and she is very supportive of you and it is a shame you don't take the advice or help that you offer her or she offers you. You are obviously good friends.
You were clamouring for IP before but walked out, how can you be sure you are ready to commit to IP again and put in the work needed? Every EDU IP bed is precious and not to be taken for granted no matter how ill you are. It is not just based on physical frailty but also on mental readiness to tackle your problems.
Life can change and improve. Nothing stays the same forever. You have youth on your side and friends to support you x
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
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