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Old 09-01-2009, 06:43 AM   #1
KittenEyes
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Well..

.. I've been cutting again.. It'd been MONTHS.. Now it's all down the drain. I've had some suicidal thoughts this week too, but I don't know what'll come of them. Probably nothing. So much has been going on, emotionally, and I'm on half as much of my meds now because I'm trying to conserve them, my doctor won't be back til the 12th, and I only have two days worth left. I feel like shit most of the time.

So much crying lately... I'm so freaking lonely.. All my friends here have gone off to college, and back in Fairfield I had parties to go to all the time. I was out nearly every night, with friends. Now I never go out.

I feel detached from myself or something.

And I feel like cutting tonight. Blah.



(//'''O,,,O)//'''

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Old 09-01-2009, 08:04 AM   #2
Stellata
 
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Loneliness can set off all kinds of distressing feelings. I know.

Ok, your dr's not back until the 12th. That's 3 days. You have 2 days of meds. Today and tomorrow. There's just Sunday. Sundays can be hard - long and alone. Maybe you could get yourself some aromatherapy oil - good calming ones are lavender, chamomile, geranium or frankincense. Geranium and frankincense are especially good for depression. Have a relaxing scented soak in the bath, curl up with a good book, watch a film, write real letters to your friends - maybe even make cards for them. There's all kinds of things you can do to help you get through the weekend.
You've a lot going on, so be as gentle to yourself as you can.

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Old 09-01-2009, 08:54 AM   #3
KittenEyes
 
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That sounds nice... It's four days actually... The main problem is that I've cut back so I'm already at about half the regular dose, as I have been for days now... It's making me feel shitty. And all of this emotional stress on top of it... Gah.

I'll try what you suggested though! Hot baths tend to help... :\



(//'''O,,,O)//'''

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Old 09-01-2009, 01:09 PM   #4
Stellata
 
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Take good care of yourself...

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Old 09-01-2009, 06:19 PM   #5
xxhappydaysxx
 
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I hope you had a hot bath and have relaxed a little now. Please try and distract yourself from cutting. It wont be long until you see the doctor now, you can get through it.
take care xxx



"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier."
Paulo Coelho


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