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Old 26-11-2019, 05:21 PM   #1481
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I did! And even if I hadn't it would be irrelevant. I'm entitled to good care just like everyone else is and I'm not getting that other than from my psychologist. I've been through hell and back and nearly died yet I've got keyboard warriors making my life hell instead of supporting me through this time.

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Old 26-11-2019, 05:26 PM   #1482
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Thanks I was honest about most things just not about my plans
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I've got 10 mins unescorted leave and I'm gonna leg it Sunday. Can't do it anymore
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Thanks yes I am struggling. There's no one to talk to. Tomorrow has to be the day.
You mentioned multiple times that you have plans and that you made the choice not to tell anyone or talk about them. Unless things in real life went differently than you posted, in which case you did not say on here. So we would not know that.



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:26 PM   #1483
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At no point has anyone said you don't deserve care and support. Just pointing out that there are other reasons and ways to look at things.

I for instance suggested asking for more support and to develop more robust coping mechanisms with nursing staff to help you through periods of distress. Which is a suggestion you ignored. But however is not in any way making your lifehell is actually trying to think of other ways to get you help given that you've said the psychologist cant give you more time.



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:28 PM   #1484
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And sometimessupport is not all nicey nicey softly softly and what you want to hear.



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:29 PM   #1485
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And also by not asking for dupport before you 'legged it' you are demonstrating you are not in a place to work through thoughts rather than just acting on them. So perhaps staff are responding to that?11



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:30 PM   #1486
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I did have a few one to ones with staff about my plans and my psychologist also knew my plans. I can't document every single thing on this thread that goes on.

It didn't feel like that when I'm being accused of wanting attention and wanting to be rewarded for what I've done. I thought I would be dead. I'm not saying I should be rewarded but prevention is important and I was just saying it's a shame the psychologist hasn't got anymore time for me. I know she can't help her schedule to an extent so I understand but I just wish things were different and that I could have some more intensive support.

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Old 26-11-2019, 05:32 PM   #1487
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I wasn't accusing you of wanting attention and wanting to be rewarded. Nowhere did I say that in what I wrote. I said often that's how it's seen to professionals and that is part of their mentality in not offering additional support. You really need to read through what is said and take it at face value.



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:34 PM   #1488
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Also, you're right services are stretched and they can't always make as much time for you as you would like. So in that instance, it is up to you to take responsibility for your actions and behaviors, and come up with alternatives, as Lillie suggested.



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Old 26-11-2019, 05:34 PM   #1489
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I don't want any arguments. I can't handle it atm. I appreciate those who have tried to be supportive but the last few posts or so I have found to be the complete opposite. If you have nothing nice to say then please say nothing at all. It's my thread. I didn't ask for this kind of response. Please understand I'm having a hard time and I don't need this. Thank you.

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Old 26-11-2019, 05:40 PM   #1490
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So you've still ignored the suggestion to get you more support.



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Old 26-11-2019, 06:03 PM   #1491
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Hey Joanna,
I see why it might be hard to take some of what's been said on board, but I think you might be reading negative intent when there wasn't necessarily any meant. I think folks were trying to offer ways to reframe how things happened and why your psychologist might not be able to give you more time, and how to use that information to get more support before things get to the point of nearly taking your life in the future. I'm sorry it's come across in a negative way to you, I think it's difficult because without all of the information people are only able to respond and make suggestions based on what has been posted and sometimes that comes off wrong. That's not a judgement, to be clear, I understand it's difficult to post literally everything, just perhaps a possible explanation of why people respond to things they infer from the thread but that doesn't line up with your experience.I think sometimes it's hard to confront our past choices and it may be easier to think about what to do moving forward to get you the support you want and need.

It sounds like you are considering looking into whether the assistant psychologist might be able to talk to you. Do you think it might also be possible to set up a plan with your psychologist when you next see her for what you would want from nursing staff if you asked them from support? I know you haven't found it useful in the past, but perhaps if there was a plan on file about what you need or want in the moment it could help in the future? I also wonder if maybe talking to other nurses about maybe less significant things might help build up a relationship so you can go to them when you need support in the future? I understand it's hard to go to someone who you don't know and who doesn't really know you. When I've been in intensive treatment in the past, I've had the experience where it turned out what I interpreted as uncaring behavior from staff was actually staff not understanding what I needed, and when I took the time to build up a relationship with them outside of times of crisis they were more able to provide what I needed when I was in crisis. I understand being wary of trying that, but worst case, things stay as they are.


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Old 26-11-2019, 08:32 PM   #1492
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Thanks Greyscale for your reply to my thread.

The assistant psychologist actually pulled me aside and we had a chat. Also had a chat with my associate nurse. They've both been really supportive. But the charge nurse is accusing me of lying. I'm so upset.

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Old 26-11-2019, 08:50 PM   #1493
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Do you think that maybe you could have someone who understands what's going on for you speak to the charge nurse? I'm glad the assistant psychologist was able to speak with you!

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Old 26-11-2019, 08:57 PM   #1494
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What is she accusing you of lying about? I’m sorry things are difficult atm. Remember one person’s opinion doesn’t represent the whole team’s though. I understand it’s uosetting though.





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Old 26-11-2019, 09:18 PM   #1495
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The senior nurse is accusing me of self strangling which just isn't true at all. Thank you both for your kind words. Got my review tomorrow and I'm bricking it. My associate nurse (HCA) is gonna try and allocate herself to me tomorrow so we can catch up again tomorrow. Most of the night staff tonight are crap so can't really talk to them. But you're right and my associate said to me when I asked her if she thought I was a liar because of what the senior nurse said she told me not to worry about what she thinks/other people think because I know the truth but it's hard

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Old 27-11-2019, 03:57 PM   #1496
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How did you get on at your review? How are you doing today?





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Old 28-11-2019, 06:10 PM   #1497
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Hi thanks for your reply and for asking. It got a bit heated in my review and they kept saying about me having to take responsibility which I thought was a bit harsh and I got quite upset. Feeling pretty rubbish atm but trying to keep distracted.

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Old 28-11-2019, 06:39 PM   #1498
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I find the responsibility word quite upsetting too, like people are saying you're not taking responsibility. Everyone needs to be responsible for their own behaviour though, but it doesn't mean that you can't have support to be able to choose different actions other than suicide attempts etc. Keep going with the distractions.





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Old 28-11-2019, 06:47 PM   #1499
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Thanks for understanding. It is hard to hear. I can't help but feel quite let down by them. I'm unwell and a section 3 patient yet they keep going on about me taking responsibility. It's like they got defensive. They should in a way be protecting me from myself otherwise hospital is just pointless. Going to be tried on a new medication, Pregabalin, though so really hoping it helps. Thanks I will keep trying to distract myself. Thanks so much for you support.

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Old 28-11-2019, 06:59 PM   #1500
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Do you want to be responsible for yourself and your actions, and able to have autonomy to make your own decisions and choices?



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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