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Old 19-01-2020, 04:18 PM   #21
Voldemort
 
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We’re going home at some point today. I don’t know when. I slept a little better last night but it took 2mg Ativan and 10mg temazepam to get me off. I had a bit of a meltdown at midnight.

I’m just struggling with life. Talking to people other than Ritzi, leaving the house, cleaning, cooking, everything. I don’t think hospital would be useful at all. I think the only reason my social worker suggested it was because of my risk of self harming.

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Old 19-01-2020, 04:37 PM   #22
one_step_closer
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Do you know what would be useful right now? It does sound like it would be much better for you to be at home, since hospital would further move you away from opportunities to tackle the things you're struggling with.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 19-01-2020, 08:13 PM   #23
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I honestly don’t know. We’re staying at Ritzi’s Nana’s for another night. Went to the shops today. Bought everything I need to self harm with. Idk. Idk. I keep getting thoughts circling around my head. Catastrophising everything. I’m sorry. I don’t even know what I need right now.

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Old 19-01-2020, 09:24 PM   #24
shirayuki
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its ok to not know what you want, you don't have to apologise ^^.
i hope you enjoy staying at her Nana's for another night ^^
maybe you won't think about it if you hide the supplies you bought?



Don't change so that people will like you-
be yourself and the right person will love you!
Butterflies can't see their wings
they can't see how truly beautiful they are
but everyone else can
people are like that as well
- Naya Rivera
need someone to talk to? PM me, I'll respond as soon as I can ^^
just in case you have forgotten today: you matter, you are loved, you are worthy, you are magical

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Old 20-01-2020, 04:33 PM   #25
one_step_closer
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It's really hard when you don't know what you need. If someone were to give you support options would that be better? I know there's maybe not much you can access right now though, but are there friends/family who could offer you something?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 20-01-2020, 05:18 PM   #26
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Looks like we might be here for another night. I’m not sure.

I’ve asked for support options but that’s been prn and hospital which isn’t exactly helpful. I don’t really want to see anyone at the moment so there’s very little people can do. I don’t have any friends in the area yet so can’t even avail of that. I don’t know. I’m worried about my cats. I’m completely at a loss.

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Old 20-01-2020, 07:47 PM   #27
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Are there things you can do yourself, if you don't really want to see anyone? What's your worries about your cats?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-01-2020, 09:17 PM   #28
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I can’t think of anything I can do. I’ve tried being around people. I’ve tried doing Day to day things. I’ve tried having rest time. Nothing is helping. I was worried about my cats having enough water if we stayed another night but thankfully we came home instead.

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Old 22-01-2020, 02:13 PM   #29
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I'm sorry that the things you're trying don't seem to be helping. Maybe right now it's just about getting by as best as you can and hopefully things will ease themselves eventually. It sounds like you're doing your best. How have you been since coming back home?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-01-2020, 06:49 PM   #30
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Do you think now that you're home with your animals that will help? I know just being home instead of away helps me sometimes. I'm sorry things are so hard.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 22-01-2020, 08:47 PM   #31
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Thank you both. Yesterday was really hard even though I was home with my babies and had a relatively easy day. I’m in a&e now waiting to be seen but they’ve been lovely so far. The triage nurse fastracked me through so I’ve only been here a couple of hours so far and am waiting on a consultant though they’ve had a few emergencies in so I could be waiting a while. Feeling a bit overwhelmed but generally calmer and a bit more in control.

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Old 22-01-2020, 08:50 PM   #32
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I hope they can provide something to give you some relief. <3



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 22-01-2020, 10:05 PM   #33
one_step_closer
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I hope you're getting on ok and they can do something useful for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-01-2020, 03:41 PM   #34
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I ended up being there for hours but the dr was really lovely and took his time sorting me out. I saw psych and he’s going to write to my new team and see if they’ll see me sooner but I don’t think they will because my appt is in 3 weeks. I slept better last night than I have in a while, still not great but a lot better so I’m feeling a bit sleep hungover at the moment. Generally though I’m feeling a bit better. It’s not a fix all and I certainly wouldn’t condone it for anyone else but right now I can breathe.

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Old 23-01-2020, 04:32 PM   #35
one_step_closer
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Room to breathe is good. I'm glad you're doing a bit better and I really hope that your new team see you asap and listen to your needs.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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