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Old 03-02-2011, 04:29 AM   #1
Fitz20
 
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"friend" a rant if anything..

This is more of a rant but I just need to get it out and know I'm not alone... So today my two last friends and I got into a huge fight.. Well one of them and I fight like everyday but things had finally gotten better well that's what I This is more of a rant but I just need to get it out and know I'm not alone... So today my two last friends and I got into a huge fight.. Well one of them and I fight like everyday but things had finally gotten better well that's what I thought but she knows about my cutting and told me she was gonna tell our schools guidance counselor.. Again. But she hasn't yet but today she told me that my brain is messed up and I need help so she is gonna tell. I argued with her telling her she won't but is just saying a bunch of crap but won't have the guts.. But I really didn't do anything.. I haven't cut for a week maybe 2 but that's gonna end tonight cause I'm so upset and hate being alone and I ruined my last 2 friendships I had and can't handle it.. I guess I'm controlling, a liar, and a jerk. I'm not gonna be okay.. I hate being alone, that makes me feel the worse and I can't handle it!! I just want to give up on life, everything because I know nobody cares, I just don't want to believe it!! I wish I wasn't alive!!! I need to cut but don't want my parents to find out or my "friend" or the guidance counselor cause I promised her months ago that I'd stop but really I don't have any problems and my cutting isn't that bad.. I guess I just don't know what to say to her or my friend... Help? Please.. I'm alone and afraid of messing up!!

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Old 03-02-2011, 04:37 AM   #2
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There's really no such thing as "not that bad" cutting. It might feel like that to you, but the fact that you're needing to hurt yourself is a sign that something is wrong. This "friend" of yours probably does care about you. I doubt she's trying to hurt you, but she doesn't understand what you're going through, or why you would feel the need to resort to cutting your skin. To people who don't have this problem, it's very scary.

I know you feel like your cutting isn't bad, but I think you should go back to your school counselor. If she's worth anything, she won't be angry with your for relapsing. There is something in your life that is causing you significant stress, and she should be able to help you with this.



"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."-Dr. Seuss

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Old 03-02-2011, 04:46 AM   #3
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But if she tells then my parents are going to want to talk about it and I don't want too!! I cut because im alone because I have no friends, all I ever do is cause my best friends to leave.. I really don't know why I started to cut.. I haven't for a week or two so I don't get why she has to tell.. I need my friend not a counselor... I hate talking to people and don't want too.. I cant take losing another person.. I just can't!!! I feel so bad for doing this to my friend day after day but I don't mean too, she overreacts at everything I do.. No matter what I do, it's always wrong.. I feel so betrayed so alone.. I just can't take It! I don't wanna be here anymore!!

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Old 03-02-2011, 11:53 PM   #4
PassedExpectations
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how about being pre-emptive about this and talking to the councelor yourself. you wouldn't have to bring up the SH at the start, but it really sounds like you've got alot of strong emotions that are causing you pain, and she might be able to help you with some of those.....




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Old 04-02-2011, 06:08 AM   #5
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Well I don't really want to go see anyone at all.. And I wouldn't know what to say and I really don't think she's gonna tell so we can all pretend like she's gonna take care of it.. Idk I wouldn't know what to say cause really I don't know what's wrong. Thanks though.

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