Triggering (SI) - "Clinical"

Imaginary_friend · 22-01-2010, 07:57 PM

i want to cut. but i know i want to cut. so i plan it. i've never done this before and i've been self harming for a long time. but recently its become...."clinical". i plan it, do it, clean it up. and i'm done. it doesn't make me feel any different; worse or better. i just... i need to do it. i don't understand why.

Stellata · 22-01-2010, 07:59 PM

Might it be a twisted kind of 'self-care' ritual?

shadow-light · 22-01-2010, 08:02 PM

I think self-care ritual makes sense.

A fair few people self-harm not for the actualy harming but for the self-care afterwards.

Or, it could be sort of that you've become o used to self-harming that it's become some habbitual?

Imaginary_friend · 22-01-2010, 08:02 PM

i guess it could be. i just feel numb at the moment so i keep trying things to feel something....i dunno. maybe. :(

Imaginary_friend · 22-01-2010, 08:03 PM

the thing is i hadn't self harmed in ages so i don't think it's really a habit at the moment. it has been and i'm not saying it's not gonna be again, but right now it's not. i don't really understand why it's changed.