^ i know how you feel, really i do.
and honestly- all those people who 'have it all together'? chances are they really dont. 90% of my friends from my youthgroup have either cut or had an ed or been clinically depressed. and i only found that out through talking to them.
take care,
xxx
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
^^ ^^Maybe they just seem perfect on the outside? You know, some people are really good at hiding their problems. Like SIers for example. I do all kinds of things in my parish (choir, mass servants - altar boys and girls, youth group, kids who are getting ready for their confirmation...) and I'm probably the last person for people to think is deeply in trouble. What I'm trying to say is that maybe they are just not all that happy and perfect on the inside? Try talking to them? You might find out some amazing things about them.
i dont like church anymore. i feel too hypocritical while im there. all dressed up, looking my best. i have everything covered. every scar. and everyone thinks nothing about it. it is far to easy for me to judge the people in the pew in front of me, when really, they aer the ones who should be judging me.
so a christian? yea, i consider myself one.
a church goer? not anymore--for i once heard that hypocrits dont belong in church. so for now, im staying away.
Im one of ten singers in my church worship group, and i feel so hypocritical on a sunday morning stood infront of everyone, knowing what is on my arms that no one else sees.
But i believe in God, and i love him...i just struggle a lot and i dont see any other way out of things than the way i have. A lot of sundays i feel like a failure. But then again thats what the church is...a big group of self-confessed sinners...i suppose i fit in well.
~*~Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out - but to see who cares enough to break them down ~*~
To the people who have continually broken down my walls, thank you, you are real friends who i will never forget. xxx
i'm new here. i'm 19 and i was brought up catholic and would say i am a ctaholic but i also go to a church of england church aswell. i've been si since i was 12 in different ways. my faiths helped me so much, i would be here now if it wasnt for my friends in the church and God himself!
Theres a little truth behing every just kidding,
A little curiosity behind every just wondering,
A little knowledge behind every i dont know.
And a little emotion behind every i dont care.
actually something i really forgot to mention is how much my church friends have meant to me during hard times. Ive known several christian SIers from my church but also my other church friends who are my rock at all times. Ive said repeatedly that church is my haven because i can get away from everything that is happening at home and just be me, with the most important people to me =] x
~*~Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out - but to see who cares enough to break them down ~*~
To the people who have continually broken down my walls, thank you, you are real friends who i will never forget. xxx
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
My best friend is leaving this week and since I'm not feeling too good, I'd like to ask for some prayers for me and for him (his name is Charles). I'm very scared of the future without him.
Im a christian, have been for about 4 1/2 years, but ive had MH issues and have SH'ed for much longer. Since ive been a Christian sometimes when im a bit manic I get real over excited about 'religion'.. i read my bible 6-7 hours a day.. get feelings that i am sent by God to be a prophet or messenger..
Then when i hit a slump I find it hard to read my bible or go to church at all. Not because I have lost my faith.. its still as strong as it ever has been, but for instance ive not read my bible (before two days ago) for about 3 months. Now i know thats terrible.. but I have been going to church for mass most days of the week so i do hear scripture and teaching..
I love God with all of my heart and soul. I am so amazed and privalidged and in awe that He made and chose me and opened up the door when I came to Him. I am forever sorry for my sins. But I rejoice that I am forgiven.
My question is this;
* Is it so wrong for me to feel like I dont want to be a Christian?
Not because I dont agree with Gods teachings, or that I am resentful because I am ill... but because if I wasnt a Christian I wouldnt have the same conscience and so I could do what I want to do, ie sui.
Hiya, I just posted what's been going on with me in the moving forward forum under the title "Freedom" I would really appreciate the insight of my christian brothers and sisters!Thanks!
hey, im really nervous bout posting here.
i got really quite into church and being a christian a couple of years ago. This last few months though, i have totally drifted from God and am doubting whether he exists. i wish i could still feel the way i did the end of last year it was an awesome feeling.
i feel since people said they were praying for me, i felt worse. and ive had a couple of bad church experiences which has put me off and been told things by friends like its the devil making me like this which totally scared me. also been let down by some people who are christians.
i think this thread is good, i liked reading thru. just wish i had some faith still. :(
Sian xxx
It's okay and normal that you don't FEEL close to God. Emotions are fleeting and not to be trusted! Paul said [romans 8:38,39] "Not height, no depth, nothing you have ever created, nothing I could ever do, not even death can seperate me from your love"
Yes, it would be easier if we could always feel His love, but no one ever said it would be easy... I promise you though, it will be worth it in the end! God is faithful, and keeps his promises! and he has promised good things for those who love him! [romans 8:28]
I encourage you to read Romans 8 and meditate on it! Focus on 18-30.
The preaching of Christ was a fantastic idea. But as soon as it became a chuch and an institution with an almost aggressive obsession with convincing people of its version of the "truth" it caused so much harm and pain.
What was wrong with just applying the principles?
Am I really to believe that a fair and just Lord will cast a good, kind and charitable man straight to hell simply because he reads from the wrong book???
I have followed the principles that are the foundations of "Christian" life, and I believe they have made me into a good person. But I believe self harm is not a sin, I do not believe that people who commit suicide go to hell.
YES. Jesus is THE way THE truth, and THE life.. NO ONE comes to the father EXCEPT THROUGH HIM. [john 14:6]
Without a relationship with christ, the principles are meaningless. A man could essentially follow all of the "laws" in the Bible and still go to hell... As Christians we are not under the law, but under grace.
Im a christian, have been for about 4 1/2 years, but ive had MH issues and have SH'ed for much longer. Since ive been a Christian sometimes when im a bit manic I get real over excited about 'religion'.. i read my bible 6-7 hours a day.. get feelings that i am sent by God to be a prophet or messenger..
Then when i hit a slump I find it hard to read my bible or go to church at all. Not because I have lost my faith.. its still as strong as it ever has been, but for instance ive not read my bible (before two days ago) for about 3 months. Now i know thats terrible.. but I have been going to church for mass most days of the week so i do hear scripture and teaching..
I love God with all of my heart and soul. I am so amazed and privalidged and in awe that He made and chose me and opened up the door when I came to Him. I am forever sorry for my sins. But I rejoice that I am forgiven.
My question is this;
* Is it so wrong for me to feel like I dont want to be a Christian?
Not because I dont agree with Gods teachings, or that I am resentful because I am ill... but because if I wasnt a Christian I wouldnt have the same conscience and so I could do what I want to do, ie sui.
Does anyone else question themselves like that?
At first I was confussed by your post but now that I've read it over I think I understand. Sometimes you wish you weren't a Christian so you wouldn't feel badly about doing sinful things? At one point in my life I felt a lot like that. I've never been a rebellous and have always been kind of a "goody-two-shoes". In high school some of my friends from middle school got into sinful things and it was attracting. I wanted to rebel and go out and have fun with them even if I knew it was wrong. During that time sometimes I wished my family and I weren't Christians so I could just go do them. Fortunatily I never did. Just remember that that conscience inside of you is the Holy Spirit living in you and guiding you. He is a gift from God and God thinks your special and loves you encough that He chose you!
Then she closed her eyes and found relief in a knife
the blood flows as she cries
The deeper you cut the deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut it only gets worse
Then she opened her eyes and found relief through His lifeand put down her knives
Then she opened her life and found reliefthrough His eyes
Hey I am new around here. I have been a christian for about 1.5 years now. I'm involved in a lot of church activities and it also makes me feel guilty because the ones that I work with don't know about me SIing. I know of the kids I helped with found out it would be a really bad example for them.
I just want to say to everyone....including the members that arent christians:
God loves you!!...he hates seeing you hurting and wants nothing but the best for you!!
I used to cut...i cut from 16 years-20 years of age...im not 23 and havent cut in 3 years...i just recently became a christian....for a long time i had problems with "f God really cared why did he let me do this, why didnt he help me stop"
God doesnt give us more than we can handle...and everyhting is done for a reason, its all for His plan!
Now i dont know the reason you are hurting yourself and what God's motivation is and why this is happening in your life, but for me its this: God knew i could handle it and i did...i overcame it and went to school to be a child and youth worker...and now im a christian and am getting involved with the youth at my church! I know he let this happen to me so that i could help others and thats what i plan to do...if i can help other people that cut by understanding them and empathizing wiht them then that is sooo amazing...and even by educatiing parents and teachers is a way i can help
I know this is what God wants me to do and i have to do it....its hard for me because i dont like sharing those personal details of my life but i know i have to because god wants me to share my story to help others!
Sorry that i have rambled but just know that what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger!!
I am here if anyone ever needs to talk...i cant promise i will have all the answers, but i can promise to listen, be there for you, and to understand
Like SIers for example. I do all kinds of things in my parish (choir, mass servants - altar boys and girls, youth group, kids who are getting ready for their confirmation...) and I'm probably the last person for people to think is deeply in trouble. What I'm trying to say is that maybe they are just not all that happy and perfect on the inside? Try talking to them? You might find out some amazing things about them.
