*Positive Recovery Post* - Recovery isn't linear but its worth it.
Bear with me.
I'm gonna give this post a whirll and try to keep this as untriggering as possible so I'll be brief with my description(s).
Anyway, some will remember me, some won't.
I was very very sick for going on 15 years now. I had bulimia, then anorexia, then b/p sub type. I was hospitalised more times than I can count & given a time frame on my life on a few occasions.
I never ever thought I'd get out alive. Ever. I don't think anyone actually did. Certainly not my family who at one stage arranged my funeral with me at one point, Will and all. Yes, its was that bad but goddammit I got through it.
I am not recovered and yes I have slip ups but I have been a healthy weight for over 2 years now. I am mostly happy with my body, I eat when and what I want, I eat when I'm hungry and even when I'm not! I can sit at family gatherings and eat without fear, I can go out to eat alone, I can order a take out and sit all comfy with my cat & enjoy it.
I can live now, without fear of food and as I said, yes I have slip-ups, and yes I will always have this illness but I am so much better it's silly thinking of it.
I'll probably add to this but for now, I'll leave you with this random thing I wrote.
Please try not to lose hope, even the hopeless find the sunshine.
Helen I don't post here much anymore but I'm going to make an exception! A big well done to you for all the progress you have made. I am so happy to read this, you have made my day. Keep strong x
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
Wow. I’m so incredibly happy for you; you have come so far and ought to be extremely proud of yourself. Well done and thank you for posting, reading this made me really happy.
I tend to stay away from the ED forums but just wanted to say am v glad to hear that Helen, I remember you and am so glad you managed to pull it around.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
Ah, Helen!!!! I don't come here that often anymore, but I was having a flick through and I came across this post... I don't know if you'll remember me, but I am so genuinely pleased for you. Baby steps, and keep on keeping on.
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx