I think I might be broken. I'm not even the only one who thinks this.
I am not interested in sex. I've never had sex and am quite happy to keep it that way for the rest of my life. I want to have babies and am seriously considering other methods of acquiring them because sex just is not something I want to have.
It's the whole being so close to someone, being naked, being so vulnerable, the bodily fluids... All of it. I'm not a fan. I have masturbated though have not really been interested in that for a long time.
I told a worker about my complete disinterest in sex and her answer was that I was either 1.) gay or 2.) had a hormone problem.
I don't think I'm gay because even having sex with another girl puts me off for the same reasons and I've only ever had crushes on boys. I'm less sure about the hormone thing.
I was in an abusive relationship where I was forced into preforming sexual type acts (not full sex) so maybe that experience has something to do with it too.
Could this just be a maturity thing? Or a "I haven't found the right person yet" thing? Has anyone felt similar ways and gone on to have an intimate relationship with another person, either a same sex relationship or not. I don't see there being a difference for this conversation.
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
I don't have interest in sex and never had a partner (female or male), i think this is because there ar signs of sexual trauma in my early childhood. I don't have memories though, just belly pain sometimes.
I think your history with an abusive partner could be a reason for not wanting sex now. Would you consider talking about this with a therapist, because you think there is something wrong in not wanting sex? You might find an answer to the reason why you don't want sex, but if it doesn't bother you much not to want it then I'm wondering if it would be helpful to think about it too much. Because sometimes thinking about things too much can lead to an unpleasant truth.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Hi there. I experienced sexual trauma also, in my earlier life. I was totally repulsed by sex until my early twenties (and didn't actually have sex for the first time until my mid-twenties).
It might be that you're just not in the right stage of your life to want to be that intimate with someone. I think finding the 'right' person definitely made a difference to me.
Or it might be that you're asexual. This does NOT mean you're broken or that anything is wrong with you. Loads of people don't ever want to have sex and that feels absolutely right for them.
not wanting to have sex or not being interested in it does not make you broken, there are many asexual people. I myself am asexual and have never had any interest in sex and am pretty certain I will never have sex. that doesn't mean though that just because you don't want sex, you can't have romantic relationships, plenty of asexual people have romantic relationships. I am not saying you are asexual, but it is a possibility and if so there is nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately it is a common response for people who say they are not interested in sex for someone to presume it is a hormone problem or to dismiss it.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
I have been looking up asexuality on the AVEN website and a lot of it seems to fit. Thank you for bringing it up, it's not something I would have thought to look up.
For those of you who identify as asexual, did you tell anyone? How would you bring that up? "Oh BTW I don't ever want to have sex. Okay bye." might not be the best way of going about it. Really it probably doesn't even matter if it's not someone who you're not in a relationship with, right?
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
I have never really come out as asexual, people have just sort of found out as I may have randomly talked about it, or it came up in conversation, but it wasn't something I felt the need to officially come out as to people, unless it is someone I could get into a relationship with, but my close few friends know, some of my family sort of know.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Everything frenchhorn is saying. It sounds to me like you're asexual. I have two friends who are both asexual, and in a romantic relationship with each other. They are both virgins in their late 20's. It's totally okay! I think they found each other through the LGBTQ community, which should include asexuals but probably isn't a good fit with -everybody- who identifies that way. Everyone has a different level of sex drive; for some it's zero. *shrug* :)
Agree with everyone else! I thought I was asexual for a while, and did tell a few people- mainly when it came up in conversation I think, but I probably just randomly announced it to a few people too as I was just so relieved to find out that this was a thing and I wasn't just broken!
It turns out I jumped the gun and I'm actually a lesbian (didn't realise that was a thing either!), so for me it was a case of confused sexuality, but for loads of people it is that they are truly asexual and that's totally fine. As others have said you can still have romantic feelings if you are asexual and have romantic relationships that just don't involve sex.
Like you, I was majorly un-enthused by the idea of being naked in front of another person and thought doing sexual things (either with a man or a woman) sounded like the weirdest and most unpleasant thing ever, but that changed so even if you do decide that you identify as asexual, keep an open mind, as you may find in a few years' time that you start to develop more of an interest in sex. But equally you might not and that's fine too :)
I have zero interest in sex, well it sort of terrifies me, not sure if that's the same thing. I was raped as a virgin and have no intention of repeating the experience.
I think it's completely fine and you should do what you're comfortable with :)
I haven't much interest in it myself. I think probably because I've only slept with two people and both kind of used me for it, or at least that's how I felt. So it kind of puts me off ever wanting to let anyone do that again or get that close. I have issues too with letting people get close anyway and I hate my body so not about to show it to just anyone. I have considered the possibility that I might be asexual too. I don't worry about it too much, maybe if I ever found the right person I could trust it would make a difference. I haven't even had sex in 5 years but it doesn't bother me at all. I am very sexually attracted to a certain rockstar but obviously that's just fantasy and if I actually had the chance I don't know. But that's not gonna happen anyway! A friend I met through him is asexual and she just told me because I was saying something about wanting him and she just said she doesn't want to sleep with him cos she's asexual, and that was fine and never a big deal. I don't know if she tells everyone though or if she just trusted me. Anyway, try not worry too much, you're not broken or weird or anything for it, everyone has their own preferences about everything, including sex, no one is wrong, we're just all different and that's ok.
I never liked term "asexual". Seems to take something often normal and make it into a disorder. The more traumatized kids are when young the more sexualised they become at an early age. Girls are especially less likely to be thinking about sex all the time (more likely it will be food lol). That's actually pretty normal although media tries to portray that as cold or something
Hi, I was never keen on sex. I mean I was a teen but just to get it out of the way so I wasn't a "freak" for not having sex. I never had a serious relationship until I met my husband and I would sleep with a guy because I felt It was expected of me after being together so long or there attitude and it was always a horrible experience felt like I was being raped (although I wasn't as I had consented I just wanted to stop being touched and to get it over with) and the relationship would always end after sleeping together because I didn't want to even touch them. It was nothing to do with the man the whole thing was just very disgusting in my head.
I then met my husband and I started off having sex because I thought it was expected of me and I wanted him to like me. I still only really have sex because i feel I should (unless I'm drunk then I seem to want sex)
I have NEVER masturbsted or had an orgamsim and I don't particularly enjoy it because it's all very messy. My husband isn't sex obsessed though so it's not much of an issue and I am starting to enjoy it more but it depends on my mood and I don't think I will ever enjoy it...I don't get what all the fuss is about I find it very awkward and vaginas and willys are all gross!
I could happily never have sex or touch myself sexually again.
I also have 1 child with my husband and another on the way. And it makes it sound like I don't love him and I feel forced into it but it's not like that for me it's about compromise and intimacy which I feel is important in our relationship and if it makes him happy it makes me happy. I was thinking about seeing a sex therapist but i think I'd be too freaked out with having to do stuff I wasn't comfortable with..maybe one day.
You are not broken a lot of people lie about enjoying sex because they think it's what everyone else does. If you want to ever do it just make sure you don't feel pressured into it like my first experiences
I see casual sex as being rather pointless, I don't enjoy it. Same with say kissing someone, I'm kind of indifferent and when someone tries to be close to me I get bored by the physical interaction or just outright say no to avoid complications. I am similar to the above in that in the past I have had sex because I thought it was something which was expected of me and it would feel like rape, but I can no longer do that anymore, I will actually break down because of it. I have had bad experiences in the past which probably accounts for why I am like this. I'm hoping I will meet someone I would like to be close to but in the mean time I am very comfortable not being intimate with others. I have been single for 4 years. However, I have been with someone when it was a loving caring relationship and it was fine, so I think it depends on the person.