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Old 24-12-2019, 07:35 PM   #301
one_step_closer
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

That sounds like a good plan, keeping your grandma company but also doing your own thing. How are you feeling this evening?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 24-12-2019, 07:36 PM   #302
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I'm actually doing ok, less anxious than this morning. But I have put a bit of foil in my pillow, you know, to stop them getting in my mind when I'm in bed.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 24-12-2019, 07:41 PM   #303
one_step_closer
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I'm glad you're less anxious. It's a shame you've felt like you had to put foil in your pillow though, that shows that you're still quite worried and anxious. I hope you can begin to challenge your worries and they ease off soon.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 27-12-2019, 07:12 PM   #304
tamobhuuta
 
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I want to sleep forever....



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 28-12-2019, 12:03 PM   #305
one_step_closer
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What's making you feel like that? How are you today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 28-12-2019, 12:33 PM   #306
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I'm tired of behaving myself. I'm over 5 months free from SI and there's a meeting in January i really want to go to but I'm really tempted to OD.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 28-12-2019, 04:02 PM   #307
one_step_closer
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The meeting sounds more positive than self harming. I can understand the urges, especially when you haven't self harmed for a long time but you're doing really amazingly and those urges would hopefully lessen with more time. Self harming would just spoil things for you if you couldn't make it to the meeting. Are there other ways you can express yourself and let out some of the feelings of behaving yourself? Maybe something simple like punching a pillow or going somewhere quiet and screaming? I know it's not the same. What would overdosing/not behaving do for you?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 29-12-2019, 09:10 PM   #308
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I think someone is trying to give me clues, stuff on the TV and radio and other people. Cameras, mindreading and spies.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 30-12-2019, 11:59 AM   #309
one_step_closer
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Does this usually happen when you're feeling stressed/getting unwell? Have you spoken to anyone about it?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-12-2019, 12:18 PM   #310
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Maybe it's not illness, I think it might be real. I haven't told anyone yet, except I've told Mum I am tempted OD, just not why.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 30-12-2019, 12:33 PM   #311
one_step_closer
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This sort of thing has happened before when you've been stressed or unwell though and doesn't tend to happen when you're doing ok. What would overdosing do? What is your Mum saying?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-12-2019, 12:38 PM   #312
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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ODIng would make everything stop. My mum hasn't really said anything, just regularly asks me how I am. When i go to Mass she is still either having someone go with me, or dropping me off and picking me up.



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Old 30-12-2019, 12:52 PM   #313
one_step_closer
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Make what stop? I don't really think ODing would make anything stop for good, there are probably better and safer ways to manage things. It's good that your Mum is checking how you are, please be honest with her if you can.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-12-2019, 12:56 PM   #314
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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The Organisation, the cameras, the threat of poisoning, the implant.



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Old 30-12-2019, 12:57 PM   #315
one_step_closer
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How would overdosing stop those things?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-12-2019, 12:59 PM   #316
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I'm not sure. Good question! It feels right.



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Old 30-12-2019, 01:59 PM   #317
one_step_closer
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Feelings are not always right though, that's why you have to look at logic. It's so easy to be overpowered by a feeling. Feelings don't really tell you what to do they just tell you that you're overwhelmed or whatever. You don't even actually need to act on feelings. I know it can be really hard though.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 31-12-2019, 09:54 AM   #318
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I went through all my options and looked at the pros and cons of each and I have decided, for now, to stay safe, even though I really want to OD. But I think I will need help with this!



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 31-12-2019, 11:25 AM   #319
one_step_closer
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I'm so glad you looked at the pros and cons and have decided to stay safe, I think that is absolutely the right decision. Have you spoken to your family so they can support you? What can we do to help?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 31-12-2019, 11:43 AM   #320
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Just want to say well done for coming to that decision in a really sensible way. That takes a lot of strength.

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