Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 09-08-2018, 10:01 PM   #1
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
Beyond repair.

I am broken beyond repair. What options do I have left if nothing has worked?

I am sad. I am storing up pills. I am cutting severely. I am regularly taking slightly too many other pills because I'm in severe pain all day every day at present.

Please can people help me see viable options. Bearing in mind I have to work full time to afford to live.

And I am exhausted. But there's a fireworks display going on less than a mile from my house so I can't sleep.

The only option is to apply to the Netherlands for euthanasia.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2018, 11:59 AM   #2
tamobhuuta
 
tamobhuuta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
I am currently:

This isn't the end, please stay alive and try not to hurt yourself. I can't remember, are you with the CMHT? If so, make sure they know just how hard things are and offer you more support.

tamobhuuta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2018, 09:59 PM   #3
Aubergine
You've got this.
 
Aubergine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
I am currently:

The CMHT need to pull their fingers out and help you. There are options, but you need more CMHT input because you cannot keep doing this on your own. I know I remember you saying that the DWP were really awful to you about PIP (something ridiculous about fraud?), but did you ever appeal? I would urge you to keep contacting people until they support you. I know it's so, so exhausting to do on your own, but you need and deserve support and the right help it out there somewhere (that doesn't involve euthanasia).



“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.

This isn't everything you are.


Aubergine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 07:45 AM   #4
Cpt_Stunning
 
Cpt_Stunning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Plymouth, SW England
I am currently:

Have you tried the Linden Method?



I think therefore I ambient.

Cpt_Stunning is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 07:49 AM   #5
Cpt_Stunning
 
Cpt_Stunning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Plymouth, SW England
I am currently:

Your situation does seem desperate, was there a time in your life when you were OK, happy?



I think therefore I ambient.

Cpt_Stunning is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 07:58 AM   #6
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:

I don't want to be happy I just want to wake up and not wish I was dead and had died in my sleep.

I don't have time to apply to PIP again or appeal.

My cpn said yesterday that she was encouraged that I'd replaced blood letting with severe self harm. What the eff? So it's ok I'm cutting lumps of fat out my leg?! The answer is apparently long term therapy. But for that I'd have to go private and I can't really afford it.

I dunno what the linden method is.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 08:47 AM   #7
nonperson
 
nonperson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:

If I'm honest and if things really are that desperate and if you really WANT the help, then if PIP is something that will help then I think you need to make time.

Why do you have to pay for long term therapy? Are you not even being offered short term therapy by your CMHT?

nonperson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 11:19 AM   #8
tamobhuuta
 
tamobhuuta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
I am currently:

Was it your CPN who said you need long term therapy? My sister's care coordinator did the same. Could you either go back to them or whoever is above them, and ask why they're not going to provide what they've said you need?

tamobhuuta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 11:54 AM   #9
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:

What's the point in making time for something that will be a waste of time?

I am being offered therapy in working hours. I can't afford to take time off work. Not a case of I need to prioritise or whate very but that I litreally do not have the means to take a morning off work.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 01:30 PM   #10
nonperson
 
nonperson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
I am currently:

If you're being offered therapy that you really need then you need to find a way to make it happen.

Have you talked to work about it? Could you work reduced hours and get some additional benefits to cover the loss in money? Could you suggest having time off in the week for therapy and make up the hours every Saturday instead? (Personally think this could be a very reasonable and sensible suggestion to make).

I know nothing about PIP or benefits or any of that but I know you need help and you need to do something (other than suicide) to help things improve.

I know you feel like there aren't any options but there are. There really are.

nonperson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 01:53 PM   #11
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:

Im a trainee dental nurse apart from 1 saturday a month there isn't anyone in the building. I already work that 1 saturday a month.

There isn't a way to make it happen. That's my point. I can't loose the income. I can't magic that money from anywhere. I don't have savings because I was in hospital 9 months of last year.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 05:38 PM   #12
Buttons.
Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
 
Buttons.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: UK
I am currently:

This is ridiculous Lillie I hate how you are and have been being treated. I wish I could do something for you but unfortunately I can't, but I can continue to hope things get better for you and care about your well being as you are worth caring about.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['What are you really holding onto? Life is a tight rope and you're burning burning burning both ends.']

'I wish I was the monster you think I am.'


Buttons. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2018, 06:46 PM   #13
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
one_step_closer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

Do work know about your health issues? Is there no way that the CMHT can provide you with support or something to encourage your work to be more flexible? Can someone help you with applying for benefits again, someone who knows how to get your points across? I know you're trying and you deserve support. Someone needs to listen to you. Do you think anyone hears just how much you're struggling?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


one_step_closer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 12:23 AM   #14
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:

I feel attacked and not listened to that I can not afford therapy or time off work for a weekly appointment no matter what I'm entitled to law wise. This adds to the evidence that all I am is an inconvenience.

I'm not a member of a union because that costs money. Everything costs money that I don't have.

No one is listening or seems to get how utterly desolate I feel. I want love and care and somebody to make it better.

I have tried and all I get is attacked. I'm not superwoman. I just want to wake up and feel ok. Not happy. Just ok.

I wish to die. There are no viable options.

Thanks for saying you care though guys <3



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 07:34 AM   #15
Cpt_Stunning
 
Cpt_Stunning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Plymouth, SW England
I am currently:

It depends on what your problems are.

The Linden Method is basically an intensive CBT course that you can do at home without having to see someone. It helps get rid of intrusive thoughts.



I think therefore I ambient.

Cpt_Stunning is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 07:43 AM   #16
Cpt_Stunning
 
Cpt_Stunning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Plymouth, SW England
I am currently:

Google it, it was Nov 2006 that I found out about it, the situation was getting desperate & anxiety was ruining my life like you wouldn't believe.



I think therefore I ambient.

Cpt_Stunning is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 07:45 AM   #17
Cpt_Stunning
 
Cpt_Stunning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Plymouth, SW England
I am currently:

If it's any comfort, no-one seems to understand either when I try to talk about it, so you're not alone on that one.



I think therefore I ambient.

Cpt_Stunning is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 10:35 AM   #18
[Luna]
 
Join Date: Mar 2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinahorse View Post
I feel attacked and not listened to that I can not afford therapy or time off work for a weekly appointment no matter what I'm entitled to law wise. This adds to the evidence that all I am is an inconvenience.
Could you explain this more? Just so we can understand. I'm sorry it's so frustrating.

[Luna] is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 04:29 PM   #19
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
one_step_closer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

Lillie I know I say it over and over again but I can hear your pain and how trapped you feel and I'm hugely sorry I don't have any practical advice for you. You matter lots and I wish someone would help you to get what you need. Keep talking to people over and over again, maybe they will listen eventually.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


one_step_closer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2018, 07:07 PM   #20
chinahorse
 
chinahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:

Luna- I have to repeatedly say I can't afford something and them am questioned on it. I am thus an inconvenience who should just find a way to make something happen despite me saying I don't have the money.

Cpt- its very very pricey :/

I don't think the cmht understand how bad I feel Lindsey. Though my cpn has she won't give up on me or give me permission to die. Which is unfair if they can't offer me a treatment I can feasibly do.

I'm frustrated, sad, in severe pain and very very lonely. And I'm getting it stuck in my head that I need to do x form of self harm.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


chinahorse is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is OFF
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:50 AM.

Back to top