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Old 13-10-2018, 06:25 PM   #61
one_step_closer
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I don't think you really can persuade people, I also think part of yourself is questioning whether this needs to be done or not. Are there safer forms of self protection?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-10-2018, 07:57 PM   #62
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I don't know. I'm thinking I might try to behave until I see someone, I've got an appointment with the psychologist on Monday. But that is going to be hard, I was so ready to do it this weekend.

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Old 14-10-2018, 11:36 AM   #63
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Please do all you can to stay safe and speak to your psychologist tomorrow. It might be really hard to hold off but it's not impossible and hopefully your psychologist can suggest something useful or even just talking things through with them might ease things for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 18-10-2018, 04:37 PM   #64
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I'm thinking I might try out the blade later. Is that a really stupid idea? Can you tell me why?

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Old 19-10-2018, 03:12 PM   #65
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How are you doing? People are trying to protect you and do what is best for you and no one has ever said that cutting is the best thing for you. I understand that it can be hard to fight beliefs/voices but I hope you can trust the people around you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 19-10-2018, 03:26 PM   #66
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I didn't do anything but I think I will get away with it tonight. I mean, it's not SH is it.

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Old 19-10-2018, 03:33 PM   #67
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You sound like you have some doubts and are trying to figure out what is the best thing to do. You have managed to hold off for so long and I think you can keep going. I don't think cutting will actually allow you to remove anything or protect yourself or make anything better. What do you think when everyone else tells you it isn't a good idea? Do you trust the people in your life, that they want to do what is best for you? Keep talking it through if you can. I hope you can move away from this thought safely.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 19-10-2018, 04:06 PM   #68
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I do trust my family and my psychologist, and my CPN. What they say sort of makes sense but so does what is going on in my head and ears.

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Old 19-10-2018, 06:10 PM   #69
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I think doing what makes sense to you that comes from the people in your life is far less risky than doing what makes sense inside your head and ears. If they're both options to you and you're not sure exactly which one is right then can you just not act on anything? You can't undo your actions if you cut and I don't think the outcome of that would be a positive one. I understand that it's difficult to hear different opinions and to not be sure which one is right but honestly the safer option is to use the support you have from the people around you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 19-10-2018, 09:16 PM   #70
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My bloody mum found my knife. I wish I was a decent liar! Wtf am I going to do now!!!

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Old 19-10-2018, 09:33 PM   #71
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I think it's good you're not a decent liar. I'm not sure what you can do now other than trying to remember that your mum is just keeping you safe.

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Old 20-10-2018, 02:23 PM   #72
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I am cross with my mum but I am trying to remember that she loves me.

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Old 21-10-2018, 12:25 PM   #73
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I tested the tool but it wasn't sharp enough then my mum caught me returning it so now she has phoned the AMPHs. F***ity s***.

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Old 21-10-2018, 03:01 PM   #74
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Excellent news! There is no one to come and assess me at home, everyone is busy all day :)

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Old 22-10-2018, 01:32 PM   #75
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I agreed to see Crisis Team. Fingers crossed they won't agree with my family and CPN that I need to go IP.

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Old 23-10-2018, 01:29 PM   #76
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They want to section me. The 2 people who visited today said I might not have capacity to agree to hospital and they don't want me walking out. But there are no beds so I am OK for now. What can I say so they don't section me?

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Old 23-10-2018, 10:26 PM   #77
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Whatever I said worked:) they said I didn't meet the criteria for sectioning and that I could go in voluntarily if I wanted, so obviously I declined their kind offer. But my family are stressed because they don't think they can keep me what-they-call safe at home.

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Old 24-10-2018, 01:12 PM   #78
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I really think that hospital might be where you need to be right now.

Of course your family is worried, and I am too.



Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know


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Old 24-10-2018, 01:16 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamobhuuta View Post
But my family are stressed because they don't think they can keep me what-they-call safe at home.

What do YOU call safe?

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Old 24-10-2018, 07:59 PM   #80
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If I could cut this thing out my neck I would be safe.

I am so confused. Everyone - family, CPN, Crisis Team - said I wasn't safe at home and I needed to be detained so they got me assessed last night. The AMPH and psychs said I didn't meet the criteria for a section. Which is great obviously but the CT had already said they didn't know how to help.

I've just texted my CPN to see if I can stop seeing the CT and get an appointment with the community psych but I think he's off sick.

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