*hugs sefka*
you aren't to spiky for people to love you.
*covers with a fleece blankie*
I don't mind if you shred the blankie... it's soft to lay on top of then too.
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*takes some chocolate & insepects it to see if it's low calorie vegan friendly*
*decides it is...munch munch* Thanks Jem - *huggle!*
*huggles mark* how you doing under your duvet? recovered from your walk yet? You should be pleased with yourself for making yourself go out.
*huggles April* no offence taken by me with song, I'm a Spiritualist so I'll just substitute the word for one more appropriate to myself, the sentiment is the same, and yes a very beautiful song but not loving as much as Stand In The Rain. Hope the housework and homework goes ok and I totally get side tracked on WoW too! lol I have to do everything else that I'm meant to before I log on otherwise I'd waste away infront of it!
*huggles frenchorn* I hope that your anxiety has reduced by now and that you're still managing to smile.
*huggles Helen* ooh achey arms from huge parcel....*hands muscle rub*
*huggles princess sparkle* hope you're doing bit better under your duvet
*huggles sefka*....*removes a spike!*....you are not too spikey to be in here, we have amazing abilities to cope with all situations...it seems that I've been beaten to a blanket solving solution in my length of doing replies, but its a way better idea than I could have come up with...forgot we had fleecie blankets in our cupboards here - thanks for that crimson. *huggles crimson too*
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
i have to go to that IOP appointment today - in about a half hour. i don't want to go. i am panicking. i can't do this. they are going to lock me up and throw away the key if they find out how i think.
*huggles quiet1* I don't know what an IOP appointment is, but I'll be thinking of you and hope for the best. It takes a lot for someone to get locked up. Hopefully they'll just get you the help that you'll need on an outpatient basis. Try not to panic - though I know easier said then done.
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
i'm having trouble retaining stuff today... like i can read stuff 3 times in a row and not remember anything the second i look away :(
i'm gonna curl up over there a while *points*
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
well. i went. IOP means intensive outpatient. i was shaking so bad. my stomach was in knots. my friend came with me and i wouldn't have gone in if it weren't for her. the lady asked me so many questions and it was so hard. i am exhausted. do you believe she asked to see my wounds?!?!?! how is that relevant? anyways. it was a positive experience mostly and now i have to decide if i am going to do the program. i am leaning towards yes. but i can be swayed to "no" in the blink of an eye. i would have to start on Monday and it would be for one week everyday from 9-1. this sounds good to me, but it means that i have to take off a week from work. that doesn't sound good to me. so...everyone else in my life says to do it. i think i am a piece of **** who doesn't deserve to spend a week caring for myself. also...could this seal the deal on my job? will they hate me even more for taking off?
too much in my head. i need to sleep. want to hurt self. release.
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*cuddles everyone* me going into a safe corner, got bad flashback and then panic attack in rehearsal, so had to leave for a bit, everyone all staring at him, not nice.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*huggles everyone and then tries to disappear into the probability matrix*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
*Hugs for you all*
I have a Psychcologist appointment this morning and am anxious which is odd as I'm not usually anxious with her , I feel ill and flat , grrr . I HATE feeling flat.
Last edited by Doikers : 11-03-2010 at 10:37 AM.
Reason: to add a few words .
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
Yesterday I got the results of my shoulder x-ray and ultrasound. It showed that:
1. My shoulder is slightly curved
2. My humerous sits forward in the shoulder
3. There is an inflammation in the bursa (fluid filled sac through which all the tendons etc travel)
4. Both the bursa and the supraspinatus tendon are impinged (the supraspinatus is part of the rotator cuff)
It may not have been nice information to receive, but at least there is actually something wrong with my shoulder.
Today I had an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist. He has put me on Topiramate but not touched my other medication at this stage. It was a very intense, 45 minute session with him. Discussing the three remaining drug choices, what has been happening, working out a Plan B, trying to set something up so that if I come out of this depression and decide that I don't want to go back there something will be in place so that I don't make a suicide attempt.
Unfortunately the drug is damned expensive. The pharmacist told me $39.95 and then when the drug was put in front of me ... it was $45.85. I was so pissed off that I flipped into my "I'm going to f****** kill someone and I don't care whether it's me or someone else" mood. My housemate asked me why I was suddenly so happy but wouldn't buy my answer .... that kind of sobered me back down again.
Meh. So over this depression.
*leaves hugs for everyone along with a lamington sponge roll*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
