|
Clearing my mind.
Well... I’ve been horrible at managing my depression and stress and anxiety. Still dealing with my sister in law bullying me. My other sister in law is now in her line of shot and I am feeling so helpless. Since she couldn’t destroy me through fb bullying and couldn’t ruin my reputation among my husbands family, she has now tried to get to me by telling people I am the reason my children are f**ked up not my ex husband who tried to kill him self in front of them. I can’t fathom how a person can be this destructive to other individuals. And why?
This girl pretended to be my friend. Found out my weaknesses and what keeps me thriving and turned around and used it all to get to me and break me. First attacking my personality telling me I am too much for people and everyone agrees. That I smother people. That I seek attention and I come off too strong.
Which anyone who knows me knows that is complete opposite of me! I hate social situations. I dread them. I worry about everyone else’s feelings.
With all this stress coming from so many angles. (My kids behaviors dealing with their father abandoning them, my 3 grandparents passing, the bullying, worrying about my mother and stepfather who lost his leg and isn’t doing well, my oldest son failing in school) I got shingles last Thursday. Yesterday I had to go to the emergency room bc my face was so swollen. I developed cellulitis (skin infection) also on my face. My face! Shingles in my eye and on my face. I have been crying and so emotional.
I feel so helpless. Thankful my husband has been such a big help. Right now I am just focusing on trying to clear my head. Stress is a trigger for Shingles. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. So painful. And just a weird sensation.
I will not let these demons win. never.
I am going to come out of this and when I finally break free from all of this pain I am never letting another person do this to me ever again. No one should ever take power over another individuals feelings. I am stronger than I seem.
|
