Friday, and time for the last list of the week. you're lucky this is here, I've completely lost track of the days. I only knew it was Friday because I looked at my watch.
These are all patented in the US patent office but I don’t mean that to be a reflection on the quality of American inventors! So, without further ado, here are 10 more bizarre (and stupid) patents:
10Toilet Lid Lock US Patent 3477070
This patent from 1968 is designed to help people who, for some unknown reason, might need to place a lock upon their toilet seat. I have spent a considerable amount of time trying to work out who might use this device - and, frankly, the only thing I can come up with is that perhaps it could be used to punish men who forget to put the toilet seat down. The inventor is a woman - which gives weight to my conclusion. Forgetful men should be thankful that no one has actually tried to build this device!
9Recirculating Toilet US Patent 3593345
Sticking to the topic at hand, we have another toilet patent - this one is no more practical than the one above, and is actually quite revolting. This is a patent for a toilet which recycles its water with each flush - via a filter. Yes - it strains out the chunky bits and sends back the yellow! Thanks, but no thanks.
8Deer Carcass Sled Cum Chaise Longue US Patent 3580592
From the patent: “The invention provides a device for conveying a game-animal carcass that has a lightweight, foldable frame. Means are provided for attaching ground-contacting members to the frame; these members may be either runners or wheels. Preferably, the structure is such that the ground-contacting members can be folded inwardly, for the sake of compactness. Attached or attachable to the frame is a harness, enabling it, when folded, to be strapped to a hunter’s back. The structure of the invention further comprises a back member that can be attached to the frame to form a chaise lounge or the like.” Basically, this is a device that can be used to carry a dead animal, and then converted to a sofa for your living room. Handy!
7Eyeglasses With Built-In Rear-View Mirrors US Patent 3423150
I can think of only one person that might find this patent useful - Maxwell Smart. This patent is for eyeglasses that are fitted with rear-view mirrors - so you can see in front of you - and behind you!
6Fluid Operated Zipper US Patent 3517423
This is a patent for a fluid operated zipper. The image for the patent (it contains no description) does not seem to indicate where the “fluid” comes from - but I sure know where I hope it doesn’t come from. 5Power-Operated Pool Cue US Patent 3495826
Here is one for the cheats among us. This is a full power-drive pool cue. I am not a pool player - but how can this help you to improve your game?
4Carry All Hat US Patent 3496575
This is a patent for a patently ugly hat that not only contains a space to carry your cosmetics, keys, and assorted other things that ladies carry in their purses, but it also has ear muffs. This would be perfect for the young lady who likes nightclubbing in winter but doesn’t want to carry a purse. It may hinder your chances of getting a date, but at least your hands are free to carry extra drinks.
3Firearm With Whisky Glass Attachment US Patent 3450403
I don’t have a problem with guns - in fact I quite like them, but adding a whisky glass to the top of a rifle is a recipe for disaster. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if Dick Cheney might have been testing one of these out when he was hunting with Harry Whittington in 2006.
2Electronic Snore Stopper US Patent 3480010
Snoring is one of nature’s most annoying gifts to man. If you snore - it can wake you up - if you sleep next to a snorer - it can wake you up. Some people even die of snoring! So, some bright spark came up with this design. It works by shooting electricity in to a person as soon as it detects a snore. The concept is bad enough as it is - but look at where the device sits! Imagine being woken up every 10 minutes by jolts of electricity passing through your neck!
1Baby Patting Machine US Patent 3552388
The number one device on the list is a machine which gently pats a baby on the bottom to help it get to sleep (particularly useful for lazy parents or parents who like to lock their kids at home while they go out for a drink of an evening). But - while the idea as presented is not the best (considering you need to place the baby face down to use it), it has potential… If the device could be sped up a little - this would be perfect for the parent of a little brat that needs regular and frequent doses of a good spanking! Tie the kid down, stick on the spanking machine, and you can relax in front of tv!
Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
"I don’t have a problem with guns - in fact I quite like them, but adding a whisky glass to the top of a rifle is a recipe for disaster. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if Dick Cheney might have been testing one of these out when he was hunting with Harry Whittington in 2006."
*snort*
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
10 actually makes sense for people who have small children who like to explore. Nothing like having to fish mommy's mobile out of the loo.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
the snore stopped is sold... however they don't target the throat area. they are worn like a watch on the wrist. my dad bought one ofr mum at christmas. only prob is my dad's snoring sets it off then shocks my mum awake!
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER