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Old 31-12-2008, 04:14 PM   #1
manic_felinemistress's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Triggering (SI) - Scared

My brother was institutionalized last year. His discription of it is real scary.. and I've been threatened by mom to get sent there multiple times... I got real close, I got put before my psychotrist and he was like, "Are you still suicidal?" I had to lie, I was too scared. At least when I really need to I can pull a good bluff. He also works at that hospital part time so I'd be under him... My brother was like, "They took away shoe laces, shampoo, and all my other clothes. I just stayed in my room the entire time... They were crazy!" I just keep imagining what happens if I get in. My boyfriend knows how terrified I am of getting put in there... He keeps telling me he won't let it happen and even if it does he'd break me out. He's sweet. I hear and see things, so, me alone in a white room with no one there... I'd probably be bashing my head against the wall. They would take the watch and ring my boyfriend gave me. I would never try to harm myself with them... never. When I get real scared and he's not there I just hug the plush he gave me real tight and close my eyes until they go away and keep repeating, "They're not real. They're not there. None of this is real." He's the only person I feel I can truely trust... No way I'd be telling some therapist in the room all my secrets and what's in my head. They'd be judging me the entire time thinking, "What medication should we prescribe her?" I'm just scared it's gonna happen...

Last edited by manic_felinemistress : 31-12-2008 at 04:42 PM.
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Old 05-01-2009, 04:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Australia
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i can see how scary that must be to have looming over your head, its so good you have your boyfriend to help you out with this stuff. what your discribing sounds like girl, interupted. wow. im sorry. i hope things work out & you dont end up there. *hug* if okay.

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes its the little voice at the end of the day,
that says; "I'll try again tomorrow".

Self Injury: 3 weeks free.

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Old 05-01-2009, 06:20 AM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2007
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I have been hospitalized five times in adult wards over the past year. It's really not that bad. And it is used as a last resort. Yes, the hospitals do take items they deem unsafe, whether you believe you would use them against yourself or not. Because there are many suicidal patients in there who could potentially take something you have and use it against themselves or someone else, as well as the fact that they don't know you well enough to trust you with potentially harmful objects.

Most of the people are usually not that bad. Socializing with them can be more rewarding than hiding from them. Give them a chance. Relating to people makes the time go by faster.

Also, I'm glad your boyfriend is there for you, though his notion of "breaking you out" is not realistic. Also, he can not keep you from being committed, if you were to be.

I doubt you would be in a white room by yourself, unless you're talking about the Quiet Room. I've been in there..also not that bad. Putting people in there is not something the staff enjoy. You are usually surrounded by people on the ward, so being alone doesn't really happen.

I hope this has calmed your fears a bit.

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Old 06-01-2009, 12:42 AM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2007

Sweetie i understand that the thought of it scares you but lying to the people who are trying to help is not gonna help you recover.

Amy x

'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥

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