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Old 10-07-2015, 04:12 PM   #1
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Contains sexual abuse - Just can't take it any more

Iíve been attacked again by my ex. I canít escape from him. Heís too powerful. I donít have any money so I canít escape. Iím stuck here with him. There is no way of escaping him except through death (either his, mine or both).

I just canít take life any more. I canít deal with the fear, anxiety, helplessness, depression, self-blame, worthlessness. I canít take the abuse any more either. Itís terrifying to have this keep happening and knowing that I canít stop him. Heís told me of all the ways heís going to kill me too if I even dare tell anyone. Not that telling on him would do any good anyway seeing as he got away with it last time.

Itís humiliating to admit to what heís doing. Itís humiliating and degrading. Iím supposed to be a big tough man but I end up scared and shaking like a terror-struck girl and dragged into my exís house and attacked.

I donít know how to stop the abuse and stop feeling so bad because of it. I just donít know what to do any more. I really do wish I was never born then it would never have happened.

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Old 13-07-2015, 02:44 PM   #2
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I have no idea what to do i just cant take it

ETA: I'm going to see if my family can help.


Last edited by dbus-daemon : 13-07-2015 at 06:45 PM. Reason: see ETA
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Old 14-07-2015, 05:27 PM   #3
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Well I've spoken to a mate and he's keeping an eye on me. I haven't yet told my family how bad I feel but I'm a lot calmer now than what I was.

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Old 14-07-2015, 05:38 PM   #4
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It sounds like a difficult situation to be in. Be kinder to yourself, telling yourself all the things you "should" be instead is continuing the abuse. Rather than thinking about how it might reflect on you do you think you could write what this says about your ex. I would hazard a bet that this reflect more poorly on him that it does on you.

I'm glad that you have spoken to a friend and that you are feeling calmer. Would you friend help you tell your family?



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 14-07-2015, 06:02 PM   #5
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It sounds like a difficult situation to be in. Be kinder to yourself, telling yourself all the things you "should" be instead is continuing the abuse. Rather than thinking about how it might reflect on you do you think you could write what this says about your ex. I would hazard a bet that this reflect more poorly on him that it does on you.

I'm glad that you have spoken to a friend and that you are feeling calmer. Would you friend help you tell your family?
I'm sorry for getting hysterical all the time and posting the same old stuff. I'm writing down my feelings, the events, everything really on a bit of paper so I can coherently tell my family what's going on. I tend to keep things bottled up for a long time instead of telling someone what's happening.

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Old 14-07-2015, 06:04 PM   #6
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There is no need to be sorry.

Writing things down sounds like a good idea.

How does it feel having told your friend?



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 15-07-2015, 02:35 PM   #7
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There is no need to be sorry.

Writing things down sounds like a good idea.

How does it feel having told your friend?
I feel a bit better now having told him. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my family what's going on but I'll do that this afternoon.

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Old 17-07-2015, 02:23 PM   #8
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I still haven't been able to speak to my family yet but I think I might do it today.

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Old 17-07-2015, 06:00 PM   #9
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Would anything make it easier to tell them?

How did you get on?



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 18-07-2015, 12:47 AM   #10
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I decided to put it in a letter, it's still unopened and will likely be read tomorrow. I can't really do it face to face but they have to know what's going on.

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Old 20-07-2015, 08:56 AM   #11
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That sounds like a good idea. Have they read it yet?

How are you getting on?



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 20-07-2015, 02:46 PM   #12
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That sounds like a good idea. Have they read it yet?

How are you getting on?
I'm not that great. I have extreme anxiety and stress but I'll be okay.

The letter has been read and it's going to be discussed sometime today, hopefully within the next hour or so.

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Old 20-07-2015, 05:05 PM   #13
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We talked but we're all clueless as to what to do. I'm paralysed with fear. I don't know what to do. He's turned nasty again. He came round about 30 minutes ago and decked me. I'm alone in the house, everyone else is out. I'm too scared to do anything. I can't stop shaking either. I'm terrified of him.

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Old 25-07-2015, 08:41 PM   #14
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Everything is out of control now, but things are improving slowly. One of my mates has phoned the police and reported what was happening to me.

I have to make a statement and get a physical examination after I confirmed what he said as being true. I'm feeling relieved on one hand and on the other terrified of what's going to happen.

At least someone's done somthing because I'm too scared to do anything.

I felt so scared, helpless and terrified of that sadistic monster that I was too terrified to report it.

But at least now something's happening, I'm just ashamed that I am too weak to have reported him myself.

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Old 25-07-2015, 10:35 PM   #15
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I'm sorry everything is feeling so out of control.

I think it is quite natural to feel a mix of relief and fear. When you go to make the statement the police will able to sit you down and tell you about the process and what will happen etc.

It is not easy to break out from abuse. Be proud of yourself. You are strong. You might not have reported him to the police but they could only be contacted because *you* told your friend. You confirmed it was true. These are all things that you should be so so proud of.

Sorry I didn't see the post before sooner. That must have been terrifying, can you create a safe place for you to sit so you can escape from everything?



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Old 26-07-2015, 01:53 PM   #16
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I'm sorry everything is feeling so out of control.

I think it is quite natural to feel a mix of relief and fear. When you go to make the statement the police will able to sit you down and tell you about the process and what will happen etc.

It is not easy to break out from abuse. Be proud of yourself. You are strong. You might not have reported him to the police but they could only be contacted because *you* told your friend. You confirmed it was true. These are all things that you should be so so proud of.

Sorry I didn't see the post before sooner. That must have been terrifying, can you create a safe place for you to sit so you can escape from everything?
I'm due to meet with them on Wednesday morning (it'll give me time to collect my thoughts). I'm feeling a bit better now and to be honest I am relieved that something's happening and that I didn't directly dob my ex in (again). Hopefully this time he won't get away with it.

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Old 26-07-2015, 06:51 PM   #17
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My anxiety is incredible. I am so nervous about it all because I have no idea what's going to happen.

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Old 27-07-2015, 03:16 AM   #18
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Dont be worrying about dobbing him in! He is physically and sexually abusing you and sounds dangerous to be just strolling down the street and nobody knowing what he is capable of. Keep your chin up you've done nothing to deserve this, the guy needs professional help and by you reporting him you are helping him get the help he needs. He might not see it that way, but its a fact! And dont be apologizing for your posts either, thats why the forum is here :) Your friend made the right call and obviously cares about you. Im sure he/she will kindly support you through this and all of us here too! :)

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Old 27-07-2015, 02:19 PM   #19
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Dont be worrying about dobbing him in! He is physically and sexually abusing you and sounds dangerous to be just strolling down the street and nobody knowing what he is capable of. Keep your chin up you've done nothing to deserve this, the guy needs professional help and by you reporting him you are helping him get the help he needs. He might not see it that way, but its a fact! And dont be apologizing for your posts either, thats why the forum is here :) Your friend made the right call and obviously cares about you. Im sure he/she will kindly support you through this and all of us here too! :)
I feel a lot better. I'll be glad when I get it over with. I had nightmares last night about making my statement but now I'm feeling a lot stronger. My mate's been great about it to be honest. I'm still a bit nervous about Wednesday but I'll be okay.

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Old 28-07-2015, 04:26 PM   #20
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I'm glad that you are feeling better.

I hope tomorrow goes ok.



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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