My mum is going in an hour. The bad things I ordered will be here tomorrow. That or the police. It is weekend so I cannot contact my CPN. I'm freaking out. I want to do something bad I can't cope
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Hey I just wanted you to know your not alone in these feelings, I've had an intense urge to want to kill someone for several months now, but tend not to talk about it, for fear of being judged, or for fear that people might become frightened of me. I once bought a weapon, although I've never used it, I don't think your a bad person, in the same way I'm not a bad person, as we have never acted on these thoughts, is there anything that helps to reduce your intrusive thoughts? I find colouring can often interrupt a lot of my thoughts, as I have to concentrate really carefully to ensure I stay within the lines :) xx
Thanks stumpy. I'm sorry you feel the same way but you're not alone.
I'm going to try and do some art and have a shower. Yes, you're right, artwork does help a lot.
My mum has gone now and Reuben is barking and I cannot cope with this
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Thanks stumpy. I'm sorry you feel the same way but you're not alone.
I'm going to try and do some art and have a shower. Yes, you're right, artwork does help a lot.
My mum has gone now and Reuben is barking and I cannot cope with this
Well I'm guessing Reuben is your dog, maybe you could give him a fuss too, I often find fussing my dog Scooby, helps too :)
I hope you manage to find a way to cope through these difficult feelings *hugs*
a shower sounds like a good idea
I've tried and he won't stop barking. He misses my mum and he picks up on my anxiety. I don't know what to do. I need him to just stop barking right now. I may try the peanut butter in kong thing just so I can get a shower and then I'll bring him to my room for a bit.
Thanks stumpy xx
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Sweetpea, what happened to you was real. I'm sorry to say that, but it is. You are very valid in your feelings towards your dad & your confusion. I can relate to what you're saying, when I was abused as a kid, I loved the person who did that to me. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, or that it wasn't abuse, it's a form of manipulation in order for that person to get what they want. Its perfectly understandable to feel confused & still love & hate your Dad. I must point out though - Things can get better & you can be helped. There is light at the end of this very dark tunnel.Did you manage the shower? How is the doggy?
I still must urge you not to use what you've ordered, I know how tempting it is, for that temporary relief, but in the long term, it's not a solution. I wonder,as your CPN isn't in work, would it be possible for you to either call the duty worker or the out of hours GP? When I was unwell, & feeling like you did, I called the out of hours GP, she saw me, was very very understanding & then referred me onto the crisis team, do you think that would be an option for you right now? It of most importance you're safe. I know you're probably going to say 'But I need to look after Reuben', but darling, you're unsafe right now, really struggling & unwell & you need to put yourself first.
If you don't feel like calling someone, could you do some sewing? Finish off that bed cover? Snuggle up with Reuben in your bed & watch endless comedies?
Thank you Helen. I love you. You're amazing.
I can't call anyone. I can't talk to strangers about this in person.
I'm going to take the dogs out and then watch a film with Reuben in my bed with me.
I can't be helped. I know that. So many people have tried - hell, I've tried so hard and it never goes. I know what I ordered isn't a long-term solution but I only need it to get through this week. I'm making excuses, I know, but I'm desperate.
Reuben's barking again :/
I feel so overwhelmed.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I'm hearing noises. The fire alarm keeps going off for no reason. I took the dogs out and everyone was an undercover police officer. There is one parked by our drive. I'm so fucking scared
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
You really, really can be helped. I know how hopeless you feel but there is always hope. I mean that, you can get through this & one day you'll look back & remember how strong you were. You've got through before & you can get through again.
Have you anymore thoughts on hospital?
I'm sorry you're feeling so scared, what made you sure that the people were part of the undercover police force? Are you in bed safely now?
x x x
I'm drunk.Well, getting there. May get arrested tomorrow haha. I think I need to go into hospital
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Hey Mikey. You are a good person. And you know whatever you do you have to get your pets sorted first right? Or else it would be cruel? You seem lovely. I know you can be helped, your disorder is lying to you now and saying you can't.
Don't run, it's hard to get help and get better, it's hard because it's worth it.
Thanks all. I gonna speak to my CPN tomorrow. I'm just so scared about the undercover police outside my house. Maybe I need to go on the run? The dogs would be looked after I'd make sure of it. I feel beyond terrible
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Slef harmed badZ . Sutured it up myself. Can't cope o god help me
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Hey all, Ange asked me to let you all know she's been admitted to hospital. I'm unsure as the whether its voluntary at the moment or not. I'll let you know as soon as possible.
Ange: I'm sending you all the love in the world & I'm so, so glad you're safe now.
Really glad you're safe Ange, think you're in the best place possible, I hope you get the help and break you need at the hospital, let us know how your doing as soon as you're well enough ok *hugs*
I'm glad to hear you're somewhere safe. I really hope that hospital helps and you feel at least a little better soon x
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Thank you all so much guys and especially Helen.
I'm back home now (yay!) snuggled in bed. reuben was super happy to have me back home :)
I'm glad I went in because I needed the support as I wasn't well but am feeling better now.
Thank you all again.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!