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21-12-2016, 09:47 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Help me keep well whilst waiting for admission
I'm struggling to keep on an even keel whilst waiting for the cassel admission which is the end of January. They told me it would be the middle of January and I pinned my hopes on that.
I have recently received a fibromyalgia diagnosis and the thought of beng in chronic pain for the rest of my life is so so depressing. I'm struggling enormously to cope with pain and work. I was given a fit note stating I did a max of 6 hour shifts. I'm still doing overtime but 6.5-7 hours is better than 11. The boss is still putting his stress on to me. Like I know the staffing issues are severe but its not my fault. Nor is the hiring of new people or quitting of other staff or me leaving.
I recently self harmed and I think Ive done nerve damage which is adding to my physical pain.
I have no life outside of work. This means on my days off I sink to suicidally low. I do have some local friends and I am trying to plan things but its hard.
I feel Im not ill enough to deserve anything, to deserve this admission. I feel so conflicted. I feel alone and scared. And physically terrified of how I will make it until the end of January.
The admission itself is causing so much stress. They havent told me anything but the date and that there is a home visit to come (WHY??!?! get and stay out my house) Something to do with a professionals meeting. Then there is money. I cant apply for sick pay and then housing benefit until I am admitted and have a sick note.
Im sorry Ive tried to explain things fully but its hard to explain the enormous pressure cooker Im n right now.
Support wise in the mean time I have my wonderful friends and a rather flaky CPN. So I need some advice and ideas on how to stay well.
Last edited by chinahorse : 21-12-2016 at 09:52 AM.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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11 Hugs Given By :
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Auror.,
Bellatrix,
Cacoethes,
Elmer,
Epic,
Fire Fly,
La araņa discoteca,
Sketchy,
Uglyducklin,
Wonderland.,
[Luna]
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21-12-2016, 05:46 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Scotland
I am currently:
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I'm so sorry things are like this for you. Keep talking to your cpn in the meantime. I wish I had helpful advice for work, but you are right. The staffing issues are not your fault and it's not fair that you are put under pressure.
Take care and keep talking here and with your team.
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21-12-2016, 08:29 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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It's too hard to keep doing this.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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22-12-2016, 11:16 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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I'm just so useless.
Thank you sketchy.
No one can help. I'm stressed. Cpn just reflectively listened. She said it's not long till the 24th.
I am alone. I am lonely.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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22-12-2016, 06:19 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Scotland
I am currently:
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I'm sorry you feel lonely, but you are not alone here. Keep posting here and reaching out.
I promise you are not useless. The low moods are telling you that, but it's not true. I can understand feeling useless in this situation and it must feel awful, but keep talking until your admission. Sorry, I don't know what to suggest, but I did want to send some support. Take care.
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25-12-2016, 05:33 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Things are a bit of a rollercoaster rn.
Im so scared of being admitted. They want to do a home visit with a patient and my named nurse. I dont know what to say about that. My initial thoughts are not in my house but there are lots of questions I want to ask and maybe it will help some of the nerves. Maybe it wouldn't be too strange for them to see my house but then go to a coffee shop?
Next contact will be on the 11th to discuss the above.
Im so scared they are going to change their minds too.
Im trying so hard to cope. A few times now at work Ive been like dr says I have to leave etc and Im getting better and only worked 10 mins overtime yesterday!! Some sort of record for me. And Ive started doing yogalates which seems to be tentatively helping with my pain. And it certainly isn't making it worse. I want to ask if they have a dvd player there so I can continue to do it.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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25-12-2016, 10:31 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
I am currently:
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I am so proud of you . How are you today? Xx
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28-12-2016, 08:28 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
I am currently:
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How's it going Lillie ? Xx
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29-12-2016, 04:56 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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It's it great a lot of it is pain related. My mental health is really struggling because of that. I feel so depressed and useless.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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31-12-2016, 10:40 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Just bought my train ticket for the day before admission as its too early for me to get there on the day. Its actually happening and Im terrified.
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Given enough tea I could rule the world.
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08-01-2017, 12:18 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
I am currently:
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Leaving you a hug x
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05-02-2017, 03:12 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:
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How long will you be in for? I hope it's not too long and things settle down for you. Think of it as a new change of life for yourself, you are making the best decision for your health.
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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
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