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Old 24-09-2018, 08:35 AM   #1
TDSF456
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Mexico City
Depression?

Hello, people of RYF! First of all, I want to apologize for my English. I'm writing from Mexico, and this is my second language. So maybe is going to be full of mistakes, but i'll do my best!

I'm not sure where to start, because writing this is very hard for me. But I think I know where started all this feelings... So, here I go.

When I was 11, my parents, like many others, got divorced. This happened around November/October of 2011. I decided to live with my mother, because she was keeping my little sister, and I needed to watch over her.
Any way, all I used to have with me in that moment, were the videogames, books, and my friends. However, in that moment, I apart from the people , and the way I channelized all my feelings, it was with the sport, I used to practice taekwondo.

Maybe it's fool, but I search refuge in that. So I start to spent more hours there, and practice the double of time. (12 hours p/w) All this things lead that my notes in school during the next year, my first year of high school, drop dramatically. (From 10, to 5 or 6. I don't know how it works in other places, but in my country 5 is reprobate)

Also, my grandmother, died just a day before I finished the elementary school. So I feel pretty shitty that summer.

In response to my low notes, my mother decided to take away the only thing that I was good in it: taekwondo.

From here, everything just go down, I'm sure it's easy to imagine. Since then, I never thought that I could be in depression, but the other day I was feeling very bad, and the idea cross my mind... So, here I am.

All this time, I thought that maybe in the adolescence this feelings are pretty normal, but I'm feeling full of doubts, and the world seems to keep running, and I feel overwhelmed. The time just passes everyday and his only function is indicate when I need to sleep (If I can)

I don't know what to think about it, maybe all this idea it's just a selfish way to not feel sorry for me, you know? My parents never let us, they support us, they give us all (Except the family part) but I can't, I simply can't be the son they expect to be, my body can't stand it, I don't even have the motivation to get up and go to school, even if I wish It with all my heart. I'm worried and afraid that this is going too deep and I'm starting to putting off my friends, this loneliness is being more common with the days...

I don't know where to start, dear people, I don't even know what to think about the whole situation. Is depression? Is the hormones? I simply can't be the person that I dream to be one day? Motivation? It's too late for me?

Thanks for reading, people.

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Old 25-09-2018, 07:18 PM   #2
yoyogirl
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Hi

Have ypuntalkedit through with someone with your parents divorced?, perhaps thats been playing on your mind for a lot longer than you think? Are you at all happy with the school situation, have you considered perhaps change subjects if you can or moving towards the one's that you feel more confidencce in and are excelling.
How about asking for extra lessons or if you post compulsory age by now ask if some of subjects can be signicantly reduced
Do you have other things you like in school, how about getting involved with extra curricular actvities they have on offer and then seeing where they take you, you never know you might find that hobbies and interests may lead new subject areas career and job paths.if you are into videogaming, why not get some mates over for the weekend/classmates to see if that can be a huge boast to your life and something to look forward to and incentive to go in and you never you know thy could help with something you are struggling with.


How about seeing if you can go back to taekwondo and use that give you motivation for school work? Say that exercising is good for overral mood and stress levels, read up on literature on it and print it out.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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