Contains sexual abuse - its started already

Ballerina123 · 28-12-2015, 03:08 PM

Its coming up to January and the flashbacks and nightmares have already started.

January last year is when I was SAed.

I know I will have to deal with the police in January and my advocate. The investigation is still going. The guy still has not been found.
I know if or when he is found it will go to the CPS and that will be a tough wait.

Therapy starts again and work starts again. 2 stressors even though they help in some ways.

I feel so anxious and unsettled by the flashback that are just coming one after another and then scared to sleep because of the nightmares.

Ballerina123 · 28-12-2015, 03:19 PM

It also brings up a lot of trauma from when I was a

the SA in January triggers all the other thoughts.

I feel scared of how I feel and I just lied to htt and told them im fine when I not.
Im not sure why.
they are seeing me tomorrow anyway.

Uglyducklin · 28-12-2015, 10:26 PM

I'm so sorry I can so relate to the nightmares and images it is such a horrid place to be in. I'm low on words but thinking of you x

SunshineSoldier · 05-01-2016, 12:21 PM

I'm really sorry you're going through this as i can relate to the thoughts and nightmares too. It's an awful thing we have had to go through and still are going through but you aren't alone with this. There are a lot of us who can understand and support each other. hope you're ok xxx

Black Star · 06-01-2016, 12:45 PM

I have been through the process. I am sending you love and support.as for the flashbacks have you tried grounding techniques? Here are a few i use.
- stamping your feet on the ground
-splashing water on your face (the shock can snap you back to reality)
- smelling a cloth with your favorite/comforting fragrance on it
-stroking a pet or a teddy.

i hope this is helpful x

Greene0Kelly · 07-01-2016, 06:49 AM

I'm sorry if you're feeling that way.

Are you living now in a separate house?

Ballerina123 · 25-01-2016, 02:18 AM

I'm 7 years old and I'm scared

Ballerina123 · 25-01-2016, 03:05 PM

I dissociated quite bad yesterday and again this morning. .

My therapist told me I was safe and it helped. Even though I was only 7 years old and it was the 90s..
I was in the same room as her but my soul was somewhere else.
I felt split in half. Like I couldn't orientate myself in time and space.

I'm a bit more grounded now. Theraphy and friends helped.
I'm struggling to stay grounded though.
I'm scared I will lose myself again.
I'm struggling to find a safe place.

A lot of memories are coming back. Stuff I havnt experienced in years.
It's very distressing.

I've found eating mindfully and strong smells help a bit.
And naming thing I see was a good one a friend suggested.
And stopp from dbt.

I still feel like part of me is back in the 90s and I'm a child.
I don't feel like an adult. I don't feel safe.

Just writing that down has made me feel unsafe.
My default when I feel like this is to take an od
I'm worried I'm losing touch with reality.

Sort for such a ramble I just needed to get it out and see if anyone has been through similar and how you coped/processed the whole thing.

OmegaWolf86 · 30-01-2016, 09:31 AM

I've been having similar struggles. Naming or listing the people in the room sometimes works for me. Or I will either play (or imagine, if i can't access it) soothing music. Thats actually the best way for me.

Other times I'm just unable to ground myself entirely and end up just sort of zoning out.. Its bad.

Don't be ashamed of how you're feeling. Youre not alone.