Thank you all. I managed to say most of what I needed to say but there was so much it turned into a jumble and a take your pick with what my psych chose to talk about. She's increasing my Trazodone to see if it will further help me sleep and thus not have interference from the men. I don't actually want to be further sedated, it's hard enough getting up in the morning. I'd rather she done something with my Risperidone or added another med but she seems to think I'm on a lot of meds as it is, or maybe she meant I've already tried a lot of different meds. She said she'll talk to the SCN about how I feel about discharge and needing some CPN input but I don't think I explained well enough why I need my CPN back and the SCN is all for working on things like worksheets rather than checking in and deciding if anything else is needed, like hospital, so I'm guessing he'll say no.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Well done for being honest. I’m glad she seems to have heard you, at least a little. Is it SCN or SCM? SCM is an approach often used in CMHTs now with people who have an EUPD diagnosis, I’m unsure what SCN is x
Was in R/V but posting it here in case anyone has any ideas about what's going on:
People don't seem to understand what needing emotional support means. They probably get emotional support from their friends and family but I don't. I need my previous CPN for emotional support since I can't get it anywhere else. My support worker suggested Breathing Space but they are strangers. They also don't seem to understand the intensity of my emotions. Only my last psychologist did saying that he'd bet on his house and his car that I feel emotions more strongly than most other people. My support worker is pushing my to try new things when she gets in touch with another organisation and thinks that's when I'll need support to talk through how things made me feel. Yes that's fine but I need general emotional support too. Why don't they understand when I try to explain it?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Just based on your post, I'm not sure what you mean either. I hope this isn't rude. How are you explaining it to them? Maybe if you try to explain it to us here, we can help you figure out some ways to tweak your explanation?
I guess my main questions would be if you can describe what general emotional support looks like for you, give examples of it, or give examples of what it isn't? How do you feel different or do things different when you've gotten that type of support versus the type of support you have (or don't have) currently?
Really hope this is not rude and will delete if it makes you upset.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I’m sorry you feel unheard. I have to say, I agree with Auror in being a little unsure what you mean by ‘general emotional support’. You mentioned your support worker has suggested somewhere to talk about your feelings about things....have I understood that right? Please correct me if I’ve not x
Could you give an example of what kind of support you mean? Then like Auror said, we could help you try to word it in a different way? You communicate really well in writing so maybe we could help draft something to send to Dr A...
Did she say when you’d hear back after her discussion with SCN?
Doesn't everyone need emotional support? It's kind of a hard thing to explain but I did ask a worker in the chemist if everyone needs emotional support and she seemed to get it and said yes. By emotional support I mean someone to talk to when feeling awful and regular check ins to see how you're doing. I have a lot of huge emotions and it's hard to be alone with them. I have no friends or family to support me so am reliant on services and my previous CPN provided me with all I needed. My support worker just meant I might need to talk things through if I start volunteering or something and then I should maybe speak to a CPN. The thing is I need that support even when I'm not making any big changes.
It's just not being alone with my emotions. Having a person I know check in with me when they can, regularly if possible. Offering support and advice and knowing if things have reached the point of me needing an admission. Because I'm rubbish at making phone calls and my CPN won't always be on Duty I can't get that support easily. I don't know. Maybe I'm just making zero sense. But things are getting worse without the input my CPN was providing.
My psych didn't say when/if I'd hear back from someone when she talks to the senior charge nurse.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
It's a how are you, really? What's been happening? How can I help? Sounds like things are getting better/worse. I think we should try this thing. From one person who knows me well.
I wonder if I'm the only person who experiences the need for emotional support and that's why I'm not being understood by anyone.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
So just to clarify again, does this have to be a mental health professional? Could it be just like a peer support person or friend or family member? I'm asking theoretically because I know you said you don't have friends or family who can. But if you did, would that be enough? Or do you think you absolutely need it to be a professional to offer that type of support?
Your explanation does help and I guess I'm just wondering if there are other ways to get that need met for you if a CPN is not an option right now. Hence asking for clarification.
Last edited by Auror. : 18-02-2021 at 04:01 AM.
Reason: combined posts
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I guess my main thoughts are, someone like a therapist is generally really good for emotional support. Is looking for a private therapist an option? Then it could be totally in your control as to how often you get input as well and would be professional support if that is something you feel like you need.
If not, what about something like a peer mentor? I would guess programs like that exist in your country. A friend recently showed me a peer support and mentoring website that was fairly low cost and you can connect with the same person repeatedly if you choose.
I understand that you need it to be the same person on a regular basis, and I am certainly the same. But the problem is if you are not currently getting that, and it doesn't sound like the NHS is offering you what you need, it might unfortunately mean having to get creative and step outside of your comfort zone a bit to advocate and find something that does meet that need for you. This isn't me saying what the NHS did is okay or suggesting that might be easy. I am also someone who has been let down a lot by professional support services and I get it is extremely difficult. I struggle with a lot of similar things as you. But I don't think that dwelling on needing it to be your old CPN is serving you in a way that helps you or gets you what you seem to currently need. That's mainly why I think if you can find that support on your own, you can not only make sure you are in control of how often contact occurs, but you can be in control of the format too. So you can find someone who is all right with emails or texting or video sessions, or whatever you need, since it does not sound like unfortunately that is something the NHS is able to accommodate. Again not me saying that's okay, because it's not. But it really does unfortunately make finding support more difficult. I am having issues with that myself right now.
Also, I don't think what you are describing is something other people don't need. I think it's just hard because just saying something like emotional support can mean and look very different for different people. So that's at least for me why I was asking what that looked like for you. Because without clarification that can be really vague.
Last edited by Auror. : 18-02-2021 at 03:59 AM.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I'd definitely rather not speak to a family member. There is no peer support available and I prefer to speak to professionals who can do something with what I'm saying (such as giving me extra support, talking to my psych about meds, hospital if any of these things are needed). In my area the best person to provide those needs is a CPN. I guess I'm going to just have to give up on fighting for this. I'll suffer on my own and rarely make phone calls to Duty or the informal crisis team (and probably hang up). Thanks for all your suggestions, it's just that some don't exist in my area and I don't want to go private.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'm really not coping without regular emotional support. How do I increase my bravery to make a phone call to Duty or the senior charge nurse to explain this? I know I keep going on about it and the CMHT haven't responded to me despite my letter and my GP and psych talking to them about it which probably means they're not going to take me back on as a patient but I feel like I have to explain myself further.
I'm self harming more. The men and the followers are around more. I'm getting distressed over little changes to my routine. I'm more suicidal. I need to talk.
Actually I should probably not bother trying to get my CPN back. It's hopeless. I'll just need to be brave enough to call Duty regularly.
This post should just be ignored. I am an idiot and needy. I don't know how to self soothe, nothing works. I'm posting this anyway. Please don't hate me.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You ARE NOT an idiot or needy.
You deserve the support of a cpn
I'm sorry I don't have any advice as I'm crap with phone calls too but I didn't want to read that and not say anything
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
You are far from needy or an idiot. I think you are really brave in advocating as best you can to these professionals. I'm so sorry you're struggling so much and feeling they aren't listening - You aren't alone. <3 Sending safe hugs if wanted.
I am so low. I need to talk to someone. Why are phone calls so complicated to make and not end up hanging up? I probably won't phone anyone yet again. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. I'm obviously fine without a CPN because if I wasn't I'd be forcing myself to phone someone. I am in so much emotional pain.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
