Today is a new day?
Trigger Warning: Self Harm/Body Dysmorphia
Yesterday I self-harmed for the first time in over a year. My boyfriend knows I have a history, but he hasn't seen it first hand. I could tell her was rattled and I felt horrible because I disappointed him. I haven't told my mother yet. She knows as well of my history, but she doesn't know about my relapse. I'm not entirely sure why I'm sharing this, but perhaps its just because I need someone to talk to. Someone who understands what I'm going through. Someone to tell me I didn't just screw up my entire recovery.
I'm also a sufferer of body dysmorphia. I've gained a significant amount of weight during the COVID-19 pandemic. I know the solution that some people are going to have is to just work out. But I'm worried because, as a person with a history of excessive exercising and anorexia, that I'm going to go the other way again. There just doesn't seem like a simple solution anymore.
If anyone is out there that can offer me an ounce of support, it would be appreciated.
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