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Old 07-04-2020, 10:51 PM   #41
chinahorse
 
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As to everyone else, thank you guys. I ended up not calling anyone but I did manage to stay physically safe. I'm due a cmht call tomorrow and I will ask for crisis/ OOH numbers then.



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Old 07-04-2020, 11:25 PM   #42
Auror.
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I'm really glad you were able to stay safe Lillie. That's a massive accomplishment.

I hope they can sort out things with phone numbers tomorrow, that's super frustrating. It is really challenging to get support and build new relationships right now, and it sucks.

As said, your work should allow you the time off for the phone calls. Even if it's just an extended break during the day to take it and making up the hours. Is that something you can make sure you ask for?



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 08-04-2020, 09:20 AM   #43
one_step_closer
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Well done for staying safe, that shows such strength. It is pretty rubbish that you won't be talking to your regular CPN, but I hope you do manage to talk to people who will offer you the right support. Make sure you use crisis/OOH when you need to, that's what they're there for. Work should be giving you some flexibility to make phone calls, especially after all you're doing for them. And you are due time to make calls, your work should be making reasonable adjustments for your health. I hope you have a better day today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 08-04-2020, 09:27 AM   #44
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I'm glad you managed to stay safe. <3

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Old 08-04-2020, 10:26 AM   #45
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Well done for staying safe, I hope today's call goes well. Let us know. Seriously, you're doing really well to ask for help.



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Old 08-04-2020, 07:57 PM   #46
Shirayuki
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How are you today? You've been silent for a while, it's ok to not respond
*sending hugs if you'd like them*




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Old 09-04-2020, 10:21 AM   #47
chinahorse
 
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Thanks everyone.

My cpn is breaking the rules to call me herself. She wants a face to face appointment because shes very worried about me. I said I'd think about it. Because I dont want to infect her.

Today I'm trying hard but things are getting on top of me. Am at work obviously but am hiding in a surgery crying.



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Old 09-04-2020, 10:39 AM   #48
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Do you think a phone call would be enough instead of a face to face appointment? As long as both of you are really careful and keep a good distance apart I'm sure you wouldn't infect her if she came to see you.

Is there much to do at work today? Is there anything you can do to distract while you're there? Or anything that would take the pressure off a bit? We all know you're so trying hard and we're always around if you just want to rant/vent if that would help.

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Old 09-04-2020, 10:47 AM   #49
one_step_closer
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I'm glad someone is finally hearing you. When would you next be getting a call from your CPN? What are the pros and cons of telephone support vs face to face support?

When does your working day finish? You can get through this.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 09-04-2020, 11:03 AM   #50
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I just dont want to infect people. With the virus or my evil. Until I get the stuff to burn I cant keep people safe enough.

I was doing some of my online course. And browsing clothes. And drinking tea.



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Old 09-04-2020, 12:13 PM   #51
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Burning has never kept people safe. It has consistently damaged your body and your mind and the only effect is has had on other people is to worry them. You wanted the mental health support that you're entitled to and now your CPN is making the effort; let her help you. Let her see you and talk to you and help you find a way forward without burning.



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Old 09-04-2020, 12:16 PM   #52
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Browsing clothes and tea both sound like good ideas to pass the time.

What if those people are willing to put themselves at risk to help you? I think that shows how much you matter to them and how much they want to give you the help you deserve. I think the risk is small that you will infect them with anything so definitely worth considering meeting face to face if you think that would help the most.

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Old 09-04-2020, 04:22 PM   #53
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Burning would not help anyone else. You don't deserve that suffering. How is your online course going?



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Old 10-04-2020, 04:10 PM   #54
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I'm trying not to burn, just at the minute. Because hospitals are busy enough.

Spoke to my dad. He doesnt get how hard stuff is.

Went to get my prescription and they didnt have it im stock yet again despite having had the script for 4days. So I cried. They were nice enough once they realised I wasnt going to yell at them.

Then I sat outside on a bench to look for a tissue and a policeman came to speak to me because I was crying. Then I went to buy cat food and cried in there too. Stillcryong now at home.



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Old 10-04-2020, 04:41 PM   #55
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Sorry you had a bad outing *hugs* if that's ok. What could you do now to look after yourself?



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Old 10-04-2020, 04:53 PM   #56
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Just some ideas...
Moisturise where you would otherwise burn.
Have a hot chocolate etc
Watch TV or your favourite film
Have a bath or shower
Spend some time in nature eg do you have a garden?
Put on perfume
Suck on a sweet or chew gum
Listen to your favourite music - maybe dance!



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 10-04-2020, 05:26 PM   #57
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Thanks tamo. I've written those ideas down.

I had a cup of tea. And putthe towels on to wash. And finally reported my pants. And took the baby trees put of the gravel in my front garden.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 10-04-2020, 06:19 PM   #58
one_step_closer
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Keep going Lillie, it's a tough time right now. Keep doing the little things that make life more bearable. Do you do much gardening/like it? It can be nice to be out in nature and grow things.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 10-04-2020, 07:00 PM   #59
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Ate dinner. And made lunch for tomorrow. I am trying but when does it get easier? Am crying again. Really struggling not to self harm.

I dont like gardening that much no. And my new flat has no outside space anyway. It is nice to be outside in my yard though.



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Old 10-04-2020, 07:04 PM   #60
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Well done. Self harm won't help. Keep telling yourself that you're a wonderful human being and things will get better. I can't predict when but I am certain they will.

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