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Old 04-07-2018, 06:01 PM   #1
MCMongoose
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Is it pathetic that I'm almost 27 and a kissless virgin (male)?

I'm not hideous or unpleasant but I just can't seem to get it right. The only person I can blame is myself but I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.


What's worse is there are more and more stereotypes around the v-card making me afraid to try. Particularly the idea spreading through some parts the internet that (male) virgins are dangerous.

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Old 05-07-2018, 02:38 AM   #2
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I've not heard that male virgins are dangerous. I honestly don't believe that virginity is anyone's business.



Men come and go, but dust accumulates.

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Old 07-07-2018, 05:18 PM   #3
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And the pathetic part? I've seen and heard so many people (even those who otherwise say measuring men on their number of conquests is toxic) use the word "virgin" as an insult. Just worried I'm doomed to be a foreveralone.

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Old 08-07-2018, 03:35 PM   #4
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The world today can be ridiculous, you aren't pathetic at all. I personally plan to only kiss the man I marry, and he better be a virgin, too (or a widow). Anyone who doesn't want you because you are a virgin is not worth being with. Don't look at it as a negative or let anyone make you feel pathetic, look at the positive, when you finally are with someone, it'll be someone special. The right person will love you no matter what, and if anything, should be glad it's something you've only shared with them.

I know the feeling of being doomed to be forever alone, but don't let this be the reason you feel that way. Amaryllis is right, it's no one's business but yours, and your SO. People need to start respecting people and their feelings, it's not their job to judge you like that.

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Old 10-07-2018, 05:42 PM   #5
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I presume by the male virgins being dangerous thing you're talking about incels?

As long as you're not seeing women as meat who owe you sex and you're not gonna go shoot up schools then I think you're good.

I don't think it's pathetic. Do you find it difficult to talk to people you're attracted to?



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Old 12-07-2018, 11:06 PM   #6
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Yes I do. And the fact is I am "involuntarily celibate" unless you count not paying for it as a choice. I'm sick of the internet ruining language. Apparently a "nice guy" is one of the worst things one can be. I can't help that I was raised to be nice to people.

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Old 17-07-2018, 10:58 AM   #7
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So, 27 in 10 days... Still in the same situation. Childish as it sounds I feel like I've missed the party.

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Old 21-07-2018, 09:04 PM   #8
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I was a virgin up until my late 20s. I didn't even tell my boyfriend in fear he'd laugh. After it happened I felt so annoyed at myself that one, I'd waited so long and two, that it was really all it was bigged up to be.

I wish I'd waited for the right person even longer! It's boring when it's just with anyone... good for you!

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Old 23-07-2018, 09:33 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MCMongoose View Post
Yes I do. And the fact is I am "involuntarily celibate" unless you count not paying for it as a choice. I'm sick of the internet ruining language. Apparently a "nice guy" is one of the worst things one can be. I can't help that I was raised to be nice to people.
If you're referring to the Reddit concept of "nice guy", they're really not nice at all. These are men who believe that because they're supposedly nice to women, that they should owe them sex in return, and usually get really nasty if they're rejected. They're not nice at all. Being a nice person is a wonderful thing, but being nice purely on the hope that you'll get sex as a reward isn't nice. I hope that helps a little - nobody is telling you not to be nice, and it's still a good quality in a human.

I don't think you're pathetic for being a virgin. Lots of people won't either. Anyone who does isn't worth your time. In this world we do have sex shoved in our faces every day, and I can completely understand why it would get you feeling a bit deflated if you're not having any, but it's really not the be all and end all. It sounds like the bigger thing that would help you is working on your confidence, rather than just losing your virginity. If you can feel happier, more confident and less hung up about this, it'll help in the long run, and may in turn make you more likely to find a partner you want to share that with.




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Old 27-07-2018, 09:43 AM   #10
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Birthday is here. Didn't hurt like I thought it would. I want to thank everyone for their opinions and advice. I'm going to keep trying.

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Old 29-11-2019, 11:18 AM   #11
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So Christmas always feels like a halfway point of the year for me since I was born in the summer. Been trying to stay positive but the V card is still there. I'm scared of becoming bitter or turning into some kind of angry incel. Sucks.

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